aboynamedmike Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 So we broke up about a month ago. I wasn't happy with her as my girlfriend anymore, and I just didn't want to be around her. We were together for almost 2 years..She cheated on me, but was very remorseful over the whole thing, and I took her back and we tried to work things out but could never fully regain trust back. It got to the point that I just didn't care what she did anymore...I needed to get out. One of the things is that I felt like she needed me a lot more than I needed her. She was emotionally attached to me, and still is. She just called me from her vacation at the beach and was crying and saying "it wasn't supposed to be like this." I told her not to blame herself for what happened. I told her we both had tried to work things out and it was just causing us more stress than happiness. She then started getting upset and saying "well it's not easy for you! you don't care about me anymore!"... I initiated the break up and it was pretty mutual, seeing that we both agreed it was a good thing to do. I was upset for a while, but now I'm pretty recovered from it, although certain things (songs especially) will remind me of her and I will miss her a lot. I guess my question is what it is that I should do? I don't want her to be upset, I want her to enjoy her vacation and stop getting down on herself for everything. She's the type of girl who takes everything very personally, has a low self-esteem, and very little confidence in herself. When we were together I told her all the time how I loved her and how beautiful she was, but she would never just be grateful, she would ask me "really?" or "you're just saying that.." It got really annoying... That's pretty much it, I hope someone can give me advice because I feel terrible for causing her this much pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Thomas X Forever Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Not a whole lot you can do... Just go NC I guess... Don't string her along... Or buy a bus and paint it rainbow colors. Link to post Share on other sites
boogieboy Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 Believe it or not, by still staying in contact with her you are hurting her more. As long as you are talking to her, she will be wanting to get back with you, she wont be able to move on, and she will be tortured by you when you talk to her. You really should cut her off so she has no choice but to heal. You cant ease any of her pain, she will be going though it for months. Theres nothing you can do about that. just leave her be and let her move on, You CANNOT be friends at this point where you are both so emotional. Let her go, dont talk to her, thats the best thing you can do for her. Link to post Share on other sites
dixiegirl Posted July 31, 2009 Share Posted July 31, 2009 It sounds like you were a really sweet and supportive boyfriend and most girls would be happy to have you! BUT, you probably should break it off with your ex. She will just keep coming back to you for validation and support because you are willing to offer it. You need to be the strong one here or else she might end up resenting you...just my 2 cents... Link to post Share on other sites
Author aboynamedmike Posted August 2, 2009 Author Share Posted August 2, 2009 I'll take your guys' advice and ignore her. She sent me a text apologizing for calling me all upset and that she didn't mean to be like that. I didn't reply and she called me 30 min later, but i didn't answer/call back. I feel like a dick, but whatever, if you guys say its gonna help her then i'm all for it. Link to post Share on other sites
smookie Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 It is hard but it will help her more then anything ... The down side of it is she will get worse in calling and texting you .. it will not slow down ... she is going to get very upset ... just be prepaired and the more you keep NC the better the both of you will be. You sould like you really made up your mind... Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
confusedcookie Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 just my 2 cents bc i am in a similar situation. we mutually called off our relationship, but then i missed him too much, so i texted him. i texted twice, no reply, i went berserk, i called him too. he finally answered, and after talking to him, i feel better, better talking to him, i thought we could get back together, but now, i feel better in knowing that it would not work for us. but that doesn't stop us from being friends. i feel when you say go nc, or when the other person ignores your msgs or texts, its like reverse pyschology, you want it even more. its like going on a diet, and since you're restricted, you want to eat everything on the restricted list. or if you want to quit smoking, but you suddenly go cold turkey... like in your situation, the break up is mutual and you still care for her, talk to her once in a while, make it clear you dont want to get back together and help her get back on her feet. Link to post Share on other sites
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