Gracie Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 I was just wondering what other people thought it meant to them...to me its just putting the relationship on hold and not really breaking up. I don't think the people involved should date other people....am i wrong about that?? Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 For me taking a break would mean that life has gotten complicated and there isn't enough time or emotions to be in a relationship. It's not that anything bad has happened between the two, just its not really possible at the moment. I wouldn't think that taking a break meant not seeing anyone else....it would mean not seeing anyone else SERIOUSLY. But, I mean, they aren't in a relationship...they are taking a break, not getting emotionally involved with anyone, and will come back to you when the time is better. It's breaking up with the intentions of getting back together later. I guess its a less "painful" way to break up, bc there is no definate end. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 People who really love and care about each other don't need breaks or vacations from each other. People who really love and care about each other, should they decide to take a short break from each other, would never think of seeing others during that break. I think "breaks" in relationships are a crock. Link to post Share on other sites
Lou Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 I agree with Tony. If you're in a relationship and someone tells you that they want or need a break, then there's something wrong in the relationship. Believe me, I went through that. Link to post Share on other sites
mememe Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 I agree with Ally. I guess sometimes if things aren't going the way it should people do need to take breaks and reevaluate the relationship. You get a better perspective sometimes when that person ( he/she ) is not around. I am going through a break in my realtionship and it was hard at first, but now, it's gotten a little easier. I realize that if we are meant to be together, then we will work it through. I guess what Ally said is true about a break being a nice way of breaking up. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 If you need a break, then you shouldn't get back together. Personally if I was on a break, I wouldn't dream of seeing other people, if the other person did, it wouldn't be a break it would be an end. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 Well, Ross & Rachel: I think if two people decide to "take a break" they need to define what it means and make sure that both parties know and agree upon the boundries. Discuss it with your partner now so that if it does happen you both know the rules since it is obviously different for different people. Tony Said: People who really love and care about each other don't need breaks or vacations from each other. I don't agree with this. My husband and I do need breaks from each other, and sometimes separate vacations. It's not because we don't love each other, but sometimes we just need our alone time. We come back refreshed and with new things to talk about. Sometimes one of us will spend a long weekend at a hotel - just to get away from everything and relax. Plus we like some different things. His last vacation away from me was a week with a friend spent at casinos. I find gambling very boring. I've "been there and done that" and I don't need to go back and see more shows or gamble. I like visiting historic places and traditionally "girlie" things - like craft fairs and shops that cater to women. He gets really bored with that. I consider those as taking a break from the marriage, but neither one of us would ever dream of a liason with the opposit sex! To me, that is a break-up. That is why you should discuss this with your partner so that you both know the boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 A break is not separate vacations. The topic of this thread is two people who are seeing each other where one, the other, or both seek to be apart for a period of time in a formal way for the purpose of sorting out the relationship or see what else is out there. Separate vacations do not fall into this category. While I definitely agree that people need to have time alone, those who need to have formal breaks from each other during the courting stage is a danger sign. That's the time they should be happiest together. If they need a break from each other at that point, I pity any marriage the two may enter together. Tragically, couples tire of each other, get bored, annoyed, etc. but that's a fact of life. I think if two people give each other sufficient space in the context of the relationship, there should be no need for going off in different directions. Of course, I'm a bit of a romantic. I do see where not seeing each other for a while could have some positive effects for some people. I need a vacation from life sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 Actually, the topic is "what does taking a break mean?" and I answered with what it means to me and showed an example based on one statement from your post, where you grouped "breaks" and "vacations" together. As for a "formal break" I take that to mean living apart if they lived together, or not seeing each other at all if they have not been living together. At that point I feel it's important that both parties KNOW the boundaries of the "break" and have a clear understanding that the relationship is not ended and anything they would do or not do before the break, they should do/not do during the break. In marriage it's called "separation" which I have also done. At one point my husband moved out. Prior to marriage we did take a break because we were working on our selves and it was the best thing that could have happened. Had we not done that, then when we were separated, we might not have been able to get back together as quickly as we did or be as strong as we are today. Practice makes perfect maybe? Anyway Tony, I understand what you are saying and I'm not saying you are wrong, but I'm not wrong either. Gracie, all of this just illustrates how important it is to communicate with your partner and find out their needs and beliefs and to make sure they understand yours. I tolerate different behaviors from others and vice versa. Something Tony might feel as a relationship-breaker might not be one to me. Link to post Share on other sites
pinkroses Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 from someone "we need to take a break from each other", it would spell bad news for me. Spending some time apart or spending time with friends or family instead for a weekend is a good way to "take a break". If I care about someone and want the relationship to work, even if I felt I needed a break I'd never want separation. Wanting to put a relationship on hold or not wanting to see each other for a specific amount of time is not a good sign, in my opinion. I also don't think it would be fair for the non-breaking party to have to wait around while the breaker decided when a good time to resume the relationship would be. You either hang in there together and work through the good and bad times or you go your separate ways, with no strings attached. Link to post Share on other sites
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