justletgo07 Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 So...I posted last night that I was feeling tempted to break NC to wish my ex good luck on her final exams. I acknowledged when I posted that it was probably a really dumb idea, that I wasn't ready...I even got great advice telling me exactly how I'd feel... So I gave in to the urge today and sent her that message, after being NC for a day or two shy of a month...and as so many of you have discovered and written about...I feel worse now. Should I have known better? Yeah. Truth is, I really did send it because I genuinely do wish her all the best with her finals, since I know how much her grades mean to her, especially since she is pre-med. At the time, I wasn't thinking about her response, or really caring whether she did or not...I kinda wish she hadn't responded. That would have been easier to deal with, I think. I don't know why I keep thinking I have even the slightest sliver of a chance with her again, or that somehow I'll wake up and this will all be a horrible nightmare. I wish it were. I'm so tired of feeling this heart-crushing pain every single day. I thought I'd feel better as the weeks wore on, but I keep feeling worse. I just want to stop feeling this way... I guess maybe I am holding on to the feelings, and to the hope, because I'm afraid if I truly get over her that she's never going to come back, or that if she does, I won't want her anymore. The second reason sounds even more ridiculous than the first, and makes no logical sense whatsoever, but it's also funny, because it seems that is what it takes for most people to come back. You have to be 100% totally over them and not the least bit interested in pursuing a relationship with them. It is mind-blowingly painful to want something so incredibly badly and there not be a single, solitary thing I can do to get it... Back to square 1, or somewhere close... Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Yup breaking NC, you feel good for a while then horrible after. Been there done that, and lol your reasons were the same as mine earlier on. If I move on etc., then when she comes back as I know she swll one day I won't want her:laugh:, it's the same reason why I never got mad at her even though inside I wanted to curse her and call her every name in the book, just incase she came back lol Link to post Share on other sites
Dmoney28 Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 in a way i'm very jealous of you. I have been in LC with me ex for 4 months. The feeling you had....imagine that same feeling every 3 days...yeah its sooooo fun. But i do understand where you comming from. You'll be ok in a week. Just hang in there and stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
californiadreaming Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Our time span of all of this is not to far from each other. I in my whole entire life have never ever dealt with such an emotional roller coaster of feelings. I never knew this type of things existed until I had the opportunity to experience it. As far as I go. I am reading books, and taking what I can from people here, and in real life who have experienced this. What I have come to realize is that everyone's situation is different, and what someone might tell you here or in real life is only based on they're experience, and what they have read. Now, that doesn't mean that ANYTHING they say can't be of value to your situation, but unless it is dead on with a general relationship. Example: 1. Do not invade her space when she ask for a break. It will only make things worse. 2. Go NC until she contacts you Etc.. Then like my man DMoney says take it with a grain of salt. I can't tell you if she is going to come back or not, only you know your relationship. I don't know if my ex is coming back but I feel she is, and I keep the fact that she might not come back in the back of my head, But I know our situation, and we are not done, at the same time I can't say when she is going to allow me to talk to her, let alone begin talking about being together. So with that said, I feel your pain dude, If I were you I'd read my post, and read DMoneys replies to my postings, Dude.. really helped me out alot with where I am now. I hurt, I shed a few tears still, but ultimately, I have learned so much about myself & continue to that when she does contact me, she will be impressed. Take it all with strides, but don't stop stridin. Be easy g. Link to post Share on other sites
DSM-IV Tom Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 Man if I were you emporer I'd have torn that girl apart psychologically. I know psychology very well and if someone hurt me or someone I cared about in THAT way, then I'd have broken them down and made them want to kill themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
alwayssme Posted December 14, 2008 Share Posted December 14, 2008 We're here for you! Link to post Share on other sites
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