fashiondiva11 Posted February 2, 2008 Posted February 2, 2008 So I'm new to this site and need your advice. I will try to make it as short yet concise as I can. Me and this guy I was dating for 2 months broke up last week. The breakup wasn't bad, we didn't have a fight, there was no lying or cheating involved. Quite the opposite. Although we've only been dating for 2 months, I have met his family and all his friends and he even told me that he was falling in love with me and was ready to give me keys to him apartment. I, on the other hand, have been very careful not to fall for him too quickly and tried to protect my feelings by finding faults with him. I must add that I have been hurt very bad in the past and I don't easily let people in my life and let my guard down. I have not been in a relationship in the last 3 years and this guy was the first guy that I actually allowed myself to get somewhat close to. Having said this and in order to protect myself I think I might've said few things that could've been hurtful and seemed like I don't care and not take him seriously. On several occasions I have called him selfish, immature and asked him "what he has to offer". I said that he might not be my "dream" guy and might've said once or twice that he is not the best in bed I've had. Yes I know,that was pretty mean, but I was just being honest and said that I'm wiling to work to get it better. (Wow just writing this I am realizing that I definitely have not make it look like I like this guy) So we have decided to break up last week. It all started as a joke and then I think we were so deep into it that we just kinda walked away. We have spoken few times this week and he told me that he is falling in love with me and that scares him and he is afraid of commitment. He says he doesn't want to hurt me nor doesn't want to get hurt more down the line. Also he stated that he is not ready to compromise and since that's what I want it would be unfair to me. He told me that although he thought we made a mistake after much thinking he thinks this is for the best. He clearly stated that he is not planning on dating anyone right now and if he thinks he's ready he def will try to get back with me. At the same time he does want me to stay in his life and be friends or even date and did say that he can control himself and not be intimate with me, which I kinda laugh off because we both are very sexual and obviously even though we broke up the attraction is still there. He still insisted I go with him to his family event this weekend which at first said yes but now I'm having second thoughts A little background on him... He has been hurt as well and since his breakup about a year and a half ago he has been playing many girl, as he says. Meaning he hasn't dated anyone for more than few dates. I was def the only girl he introduced to his family in more than 4 years and only one has has called his girlfriend. I know he does like me and I'm just not sure why the sudden change? After much thinking I realized that obviously I started to have some feelings for this guy and even though I'm not sure where this will go I do want him in my life. I do want to respect his wishes wanting to break up and give him his space since he is not ready for a commitment but I find myself a little perplexed because he was the one that pushed for things to move very fast and admitted that he is falling in love with me. I don't get why he would want to let me go when he is falling for me and obviously there is something there. Now I'm thinking that it might've been me who scared him off by staying all the things I have. Is it possible that he is afraid to fall for me since I haven't really been very open and made him feel like I care? Would someone really prefer to end something good because they are afraid to get hurt or is this just a easy way out for him? Should I attend his family function this weekend or should I cut him out of my life completely? Thanks in advance for your advice. Sometimes it helps to get other people's opinion.
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