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Dumper and dumpee


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Samantha1973

Could someone explain to me the dynamics of the dumper, dumpee and their ego's when trying to move on.

 

I'm just wondering if or when the dumper will stop using the dumpee as their ego-boost after a period of NC.

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If you stop responding, they will stop using you for their ego boost. In other words, when you stop feeding their ego, they'll stop using you for their ego boost. If you go into NC but come back every single time, they'll keep doing it.

 

It's like a slot machine. People get addicted. They feed the machine and feed it and feed it, until they get a pay off. They don't even care that they don't get a pay off each time. They just know that eventually they will.

 

That's how it works.

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The dumpee has control, whether it seems like it or not. My feeling is, if you dump me, that means I'm GONE. You want NOTHING of me in your life. So if you break up with me, fine, but don't expect to hear a single word from me -- you've made your choice. If you never respond, they stop trying to contact you.

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