It would be great to hear some words of any sort! I am hurting like crazy too!

[femmdevil]

I posted the recent "How do the chances of reconciliation fair?" Dec 11th.

Basically, my bf dumped me just months after my father died and I got laid off. I feel crazy.

I don't care, tell me anything, cliche or not.

Did/do you all feel like you don't even want to look at another person?

Like the idea of sex with someone else is nauseating?

I know it's only been 4 days for me, but I can't even bring myself to masterbate!

 

Even if it feels like it never will, does it get easier?

Do you stop wanting them back?

Have you found better partners out there later on?

 

Thanks

 

AAAHHHH

[starlite]

I am so sorry about the loss of your Father!

 

It does get better! I cant say all the pain goes away but eventually you start to feel like yourself again. My bf and I have been broken up for 2 months. I have kissed 2 guys, but havent taken it any farther. I dont really want to have sex yet. I dont feel ready for it, but I think once I meet that right person...or I decide to contact some great friend from my past who I have been intimate with before and feel safe with...then it will be time for me. I am in no rush. I didnt masturbate for like a month or so..and even then I just kinda made myself because i knew it would be nice.

 

I loved my ex very much! We were together 2 and a half years...but I dont want to be with someone like him, so as much as it hurts, I know that we are not a right fit. He lied so much...and if that wasnt enough, I found out he had cheated on me.

 

The book "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken" is a great read. Very light and funny, but all oh so true.

 

You will find someone else...you will find a better job and you will find someone who deserves you, because you certainly dont want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with you!

 

Again, it will get better! Take now to be sad...and in a couple weeks start working on you. I know this is cliche' but go to the gym, clean your place, work on your finances, read, focus on YOU! You are the most important person in your life.

[ElvenPriestess]

Wow! Well, let me first say that yes, it will ALWAYS get better with time. And don't expect anything sexual of yourself, you're dealing with a lot of emotions right now, it's perfectly normal that you wouldn't feel in the mood. Other things are your priority. My advice is:

 

Seek out your friends for strength and comfort. Engage in things that occupy the mind and comfort you. And I know I've said these things on other posts but it is SO true. I was in a two year relationship that fell apart and it was tough. Granted I didn't have a death in the family at the same time, but I can tell you that you will feel better.

 

And there is ABSOLUTELY someone better out there. Someone who, when something traumatic happens in your life, will not leave you, but will hold you in their loving arms and let you know everything will be ok. Keep strong, hold your head up, but do let the emotions take their course. Don't bury them.

 

Let them flow freely, and express them in healthy ways. Day by day, week by week, you WILL feel better. I guarantee it.

[femmdevil]

Thank you both for your insight. It makes me hopeful. I already feel a little better, but I often blame myself for things not working out because for the months that followed my father's death, I acted like a needy freak. I was crying, irritable, and even angry. When he was trying to be there for me, I was moody and insecure. I felt better gradually, but by then, he had begun the withdrawl which made me needier. Still, maybe some people would have been able to ride it out.

 

Thanks again and talk to you later!

[superm0nkey]

Oh yeah, it gets better. The first few months are going to hurt like hell... but after that you'll start getting better. I know that probably doesn't help much but you've just got to be strong and work your way through it.

 

In a few years you'll look back on your ex and not really feel anything.