sweetbee123 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 my boyfriend and I had been going out for a year and a half now. At the beginning, we were realie in love and we even talked about marriage in the future. when school started, i cheated on him a few times and i felt realie bad about it. i couldn't help but telling him the truth.. when he found out, he was heartbroken but he forgave me. and i was realie thankful. then he started liking this other girl and they were sort of dealing. I found out and he felt realie bad and he begged me back and everything. Then everything went well for a year until this october, he started treating me like crap.. He would swear at me, yell at me, say rude things, etc. In november, he told me he wanted to break up. His reasons were that he liked someone else .. again and found me annoying. I tried to get him back but he insisted to break up. I was so devastated and depressed for two weeks until I finally began to move on. When he found out some guy was going after me, he started telling me he wants to get back. But he's very moody. One day, he would tell me he absolutely wants me back, the next day, he would tell me not to contact him again. I realie loved him so i let him play with my feelings like that. At last, he finally made up his mind and he begged me back. Since i still realie love him, we got back together.. two days ago. but today, i found out that when i was out of the country during the past summer, he had sex with a prostitute.... twice. he said he did it twice... but who knows? I am so shocked, hurt and heartbroken. He begged me back and said from now on, he would never ever make a mistake again. He explained it was peer pressure and that he needed it and i was out of country. he also said he gave me a chance when i cheated on him, so i should give him a chance too. He has hurt me many many times, I know i shouldnn't be with him anymore. but somehow, i just cant seem to let go.... even right now, I know he slept with a prostitute, i still cant seem to let go. I dont know what to do. should i give him a chance? or should i realie let go? someone please help me..... Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 You say you want to hold on, but what is it you want to hold on to? It doesn't sound like there is much of a happy future for the two of you based on what you wrote here, even if there weren't cheating involved. Link to post Share on other sites
kitkat289 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 He's not committed from within.Leave him if you want a normal life in the future.Dont you see so many people around who have just worked on their marriage for half of their lives....I found here that there are people who have worked on a hopeless marriage for like 13 years and then finally split after getting tired. It is so clear that he cannot be a good husband to you.Leave him otherwise after years you would not be able to leave,you will feel like your feelings and life is just tied to him.Above all, you deserve a faithful partner,dont you?It doesnt matter how much he loves you,what you actually deserve is a partner you can trust and so you do not have to have a stressful life. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 Neither of you are capable of having a healthy relationship with each other. With all that cheating and breaking up and getting back together and breaking up...this relationship has no solid foundation at all. I predict if you stay together, this pattern will continue over and over and over. Link to post Share on other sites
Frankie24 Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 best bet is to cut your losses youll end up hurting one another if you carry on Link to post Share on other sites
joekurtz Posted December 1, 2007 Share Posted December 1, 2007 my boyfriend and I had been going out for a year and a half now. At the beginning, we were realie in love and we even talked about marriage in the future. when school started, i cheated on him a few times and i felt realie bad about it. i couldn't help but telling him the truth.. when he found out, he was heartbroken but he forgave me. and i was realie thankful. then he started liking this other girl and they were sort of dealing. I found out and he felt realie bad and he begged me back and everything. Then everything went well for a year until this october, he started treating me like crap.. He would swear at me, yell at me, say rude things, etc. In november, he told me he wanted to break up. His reasons were that he liked someone else .. again and found me annoying. I tried to get him back but he insisted to break up. I was so devastated and depressed for two weeks until I finally began to move on. When he found out some guy was going after me, he started telling me he wants to get back. But he's very moody. One day, he would tell me he absolutely wants me back, the next day, he would tell me not to contact him again. I realie loved him so i let him play with my feelings like that. At last, he finally made up his mind and he begged me back. Since i still realie love him, we got back together.. two days ago. but today, i found out that when i was out of the country during the past summer, he had sex with a prostitute.... twice. he said he did it twice... but who knows? I am so shocked, hurt and heartbroken. He begged me back and said from now on, he would never ever make a mistake again. He explained it was peer pressure and that he needed it and i was out of country. he also said he gave me a chance when i cheated on him, so i should give him a chance too. He has hurt me many many times, I know i shouldnn't be with him anymore. but somehow, i just cant seem to let go.... even right now, I know he slept with a prostitute, i still cant seem to let go. I dont know what to do. should i give him a chance? or should i realie let go? someone please help me..... Sorry if you take this as being rude kiddo, but DAMN, it sounds like neither one of you are remotely mature enough to be in a committed, long term relationship right now. Which isn't a bad thing necessarily. Obviously, with both of you being in school, you're very young. So, what's the rush to be in an exclusive relationship anyone? I realize that you have strong feelings for this guy, but they weren't strong enough to prevent you from seeing other guys not long ago, now were they? And, his for you weren't strong enough to keep him from pursuing other girls & hooking up with a prostitute ( YUCK! BTW ) TWICE, now were they? So, despite you're feelings for one another, it's clear that you're just not destined to be life partners or anything even close. Know what I mean? I don't mean to sound like your dad for Pete's sake, but you're young. What maybe 19, 20, 21 tops? So, enjoy it. Take advantage of this time of your life ( within reason, of course ) & don't complicate it so much with all this drama of trying to salvage a relationship that just appears to be a bit past it's shelf life. I just don't think it's worth it at this stage of your life. There are just too many other opportunities out there to waste your time on attempting to turn this thing around IMO. Sure, it's going to hurt to let it go, but these sorts of things are just the sorts of things that you're SUPPOSED to experience, learn from & grow from at your age. OK? And the prosti thing? Sorry, don't mean to judge the kid, but damn, that's just nasty. Not to mention as dangerous as hell with all the diseases out there these days. Like DEADLY diseases! Oh, he might have thought that "he needed it" while you were out of the country, but if he couldn't hold out for a little while until you came back, then he's got some serious issues. I mean, come on, that's what his hand's for, right? Having never used the services of a sex worker of any sort, I've no clue what they charge, but I guarantee you that he'd have gotten about the exact same amount of jollies with a nickel's worth of hand lotion or baby oil as he did for that fistful of twenties he must've given that hooker. So, not only is he unfaithful hon, he's not very smart either. I think you can do a whole lot better, so cheer up. You'll be just fine. Honest. So, take care & peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetbee123 Posted December 2, 2007 Author Share Posted December 2, 2007 yea i dont know what's keeping me. For sure, this guy cannot be trusted.. but like i said, i just cant seem to let go. i guess time heals all wounds. I wont take this relationship as serious as before and just pray that he wont hurt me again. or pray i will meet someone else worth loving in the future. im still young, only 20.. thanks for your advice, everybody. Link to post Share on other sites
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