over before it began

[daphne]

I finally met a guy that I was interested in dating, after a long period of not dating. He was beautiful, sweet, funny, charming. He seemed crazy about me off the bat. He was sure that this was going to be a good thing. THat was less than 2 weeks ago. I remembered thinking he seems too good to be true.

 

He flew me out of town and treated me like a princess. Told me he knew he was more into me than I was into him. Talks like he wants a relationship, not to "date". Told me he's used to playing hard to get with women, but he is different with me because he cant' help himself. Told me that I should take the leap and not tread so lightly. I told him I take my time. I have been telling him that from day one. He gets pushy, and doesn't respect my boundaries very well. He behaves selfishly and then manipulative when he doesn't get his way. And the final straw, when he didn't get what he wanted (sex), he became aloof. He went from calling and texting regularly to just buddies. I wasn't sure if it was because I told him how I felt he was behaving selfishly (only child) and he didn't like my bluntness. I had to say it. He pushes like no one I've ever known.

 

And he is a very sexual person. Of what little I do know about him after spending hours on the phone with him, I do know that this is by far the most important thing to him. So it reasonable to assume that he's backed off because he didn't get his way?

 

I am totally leery and don't think this is going anywhere, but I'm going to keep talking to him so I can confirm my suspicions. I just don't know how I seem to attract all of the wrong guys. I'm starting to take it personally.

[BlueEyedSarah]

Don't rush into anything with him if your not ready and want to take your time. If he likes you as much as you say he does then he would respect that, if not then it sounds like he is just looking for sex, since you did mention he is a sexual guy.

 

In my opinion it sounds like he is after 'something' from you... Be carful!

 

Also about attracting the wrong guys? Tell me about it... Your not the only one

[daphne]

Hi Sarah,

 

I wont' rush anywhere. I've been with a narcissist before and it wasn't pretty so I'm in no hurry to get anywhere. You're right, if he was ever honest about anything he'll wait. He said he would, but now he's pouting cos he didn't get his way so I'm not so sure he really does like me. And I know I don't like the red flag of his behavior anyway. I'm fairly much turned off. I don't know if it's because I'm scared that he's like the narcissist or because it's an obvious red flag.

 

And I agree, it does sound like he's "after something". I think him backing off and showing me what he's about was a blessing.

[meleeda]

I think he is using you and he is use to the game of cat and mouse and will tell you what he wants you to know so he can get what he wants and then once that happens he is off to another so I would say yes keep him as a friend but keep your head about you. Their are good advice out their on the net here is a good one.

 

http://www.datingwithoutdrama.com/datingdish/archive/6.html

[daphne]

thanks for the link Meleeda. I may get it.

 

I've had some time to think about things and realize taht I don't want to jump to conclusions without being sure of what he's up to. Although there is a red flag waving around, he is not my ex. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that he had behaved more honorably this weekend than I wanted to give him credit. Whatever he's doing now, time will tell. I want to look at things through more stable eyes before I assume he's no good. I do have baggage and teh situation does look bad on the surface. However, I do have friends who did the whirlwind thing too and they are either still together or married. I'm not saying I'll do it because it feels emotionally unstable to me and I'm just not comfortable. But not all people that are trying to sweep you off your feet are nuts.

 

I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt until there's no more doubt.