Positive No Contact Results

[honeybees28]

Did NO CONTACT ever result in the person that dumped you to come back in time?

 

I'm really wondering the validity of all of this. Yes, I get that the NC is supposed to allow healing, and the ability to eventually move on. But for those of us hoping that it will somehow result in the DUMPER realizing that they MISS US, are there any stories of this?

 

If so, how long after the breakup did it take?

&

How did they go about it?

[Icantletgo]

My previous ex (not this current one who is broke my soul) cheated on me as well. I finally initated NC when i found someone else.

 

Within a month he called me CRYING saying he missed me. I told him it's too late. I already moved on.

 

A few months after that he'll call me here and there and even came up to visit me while he was in town. He just looked around my apt. and looked at pictures of my then boyfriend.

 

he continued to im me but his tone made it seem like I missed him and I was still in love w/ him and that made me very uncomfortable. SO i finally told him that i was never going to be w/ him again...and that I already moved on.

 

He never imed me after that.

 

So in THAT case...he did miss me. although he cheated on me, he realized what he lost.

 

But the thing is: even though it worked once...it doesn't always work.

 

I have another ex who initiated NC on me after I broke up with him. Ididn't miss him. It was a relief actually.

 

So how the other person takes NC and if the other person misses you really varies with the situation and the person.

[MikeC]

I understand going NC for space. But when is enough, enough. If I wanted to cut a person out of my life completely, then yes NC. But what if you WANT to contact that person not too far into the future. That is a different thing alltogether.

[honeybees28]

yeah, for instance. my bf dumped me after 3 years 2 months ago.

and yet its only really been 2 weeks of no contact since that point.

i broke no contact and *had* to send him an email to request something back and he said: "i almost called you the other day but i didnt want to make things bad again"... i have NO CLUE what that meant. or what "bad" is to him.

 

its amazing the amount of time you invest in a relationship to have someone who proved their love to you over and over again eventually dump you and act like you dont even exist. its just unfathomable.

 

out of sight out of mind ...or.... distance makes the heart grow fonder.

 

its a battle.

[2ndIINone]

uh hem... if you're USING it to get someone back... that you are NOT doing what you are suppose to be doing for yourself. It's more like... you're sitting around biting your nails until the day he/she calls so that you can have the upper hand.

 

The idea of it is suppose to be... move on with your life... get healthy emotionally and mentally... so that IF they come back... you can kick em' to the curb.... Mark my words.... even if they do come back and you give in... it won't take long for things to go back to the way they 'use' to be... ending the relationship in the first place.

 

for what it's worth... all 3 of my exes came back... I gave two of em' second chances.... both went back to their old ways. By the time the third came back... I had learned from the first two... people don't change.... and didnt take back the 3rd.

 

Better to give someone who hasn't dumped you a first chance, rather then giving an ex a second or third chance.

[Poboy]

i went in NC with my ex and she made contact after exactly a year from the day she broke off with me ( she said it was the day that made her realise what happened was wrong ) . sad for her , i moved on and surprised she never did. i dont think there is any particular time/ day after the breakup or something which will make them come back... its human emotions and it gets triggered by anything.