Breaking up with every association

[oppath]

Ok, I went to a party mostly put on by friends of my ex's this weekend. Two people invited me and my onus was to invite people too. Some of her friends hate me. I'll skip the reasons. She thinks I'm an ass, therefore her friends think I'm an ass. It's ok because all my friends think she is a bitch. That's life. People choose the side of their friend.

 

However, some of them were very friendly. Even one who I felt hated me (and I overheard say "who invited that *******") was receptive when I apologized to her. I left feeling good, and the mutual friend who has sided with me (or been accused of it) told me things were slowly resolving themself with the mutual friends.

 

The thing is, it turns out that isn't the case. Some people did glare at me. Others invited me to future parties, at which point I said "my ex and I are on bad terms. I said some hurtful things and apologized. I want to make amends but she's your friend, so I'm not going to say anything more."

 

I even emailed those people and said "we can leave things in the dark but I want you to know I appreciated the invite and hope someday we can hang out."

 

Today I get an email from my ex's best friend telling me to let things go. They understand I was hurt but I reacted too strongly and there won't be a reconciliation between us, and the adult thing to do is leave things be and to stop the emailing and dragging friends into the mix.

 

Point taken. Any one who could hear my story and is on the fence would side with me, but it's not worth that energy. It's not. If her friends think I suck because she says I suck, then I will suck. They are cool people but there are other cool people.

 

I was hoping I could maintain friendships with them too but I need to walk away completely. I am severing ALL association. Now, I will still be friends with two of her friends, only I am going to avoid ALL situations were I could encounter the rest of my ex's friends. ALL. Even parties I am invited too.

 

I made some earlier mistakes. Trying to rectify them in ANY way just dug the hole deeper.

 

Another lesson learned.

 

This is part of life. This is part of break ups. I'm steering clear of ALL her associations for the next 6 months because it is bad for me and makes me do irrational things and feel bad about myself.