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Exactly. It would seem that he is either not truly broken up with his ex or that he wants to keep her thinking that there is a chance of reconciliation so that he can continue to live with her until November. Either way, he's in no position to start a new relationship.

Nah. This is a (unfortunately) typical situation. You’re certainly not the first, and sadly won’t be the last who has been duped and hurt in a triangle like this one. I don’t know why these types of things happen. The only mistake you made was reading too much into his words and actions. The main take away here is to recognize that he never stopped loving her and all the while he has really just been biding his time waiting for the to get back together. If he loved you authentically, he never would have reached out to her in the first place. For your part, don’t beat yourself up too

😂👍

Crushes are fun and happen in the workplace a lot for this reason. What reason you mean can you please explain?

Sure. There's a difference between "I just want something casual/not serious..." and "so this guy was clapping my cheeks last week..." though haha. I'd assume the second line might be the reality from the first but it's a much less crude and off-putting way to communicate.

You’re really fired up aren’t you. If he loves her why does he continue to choose me

He messaged her because something happened to him and he thought she was behind it but she said she wasn’t then a few days later they’re messaging each other again apologizing for the past

I posted a reply below

That's fair. I personally though prefer to have an idea of what is going on so I know what I might be getting myself into. If the gals behavior seems just a little too risky sometimes I will just fool around with them a bit but not have intercourse with them. And if it seems extremely risky I won't do anything with them at all.

Another «small» update. after complete silence for three days he messages me out of the blue today telling me he bought an apartment, and which one. I think he told me because I had said a week ago I was very excited to hear what he landed on. He was between two places, one very new and one old he would have to renovate. The latter is rented out. He had bought the old one. I first thought was it will probably another month or two then. Then he said he would “get it” (don’t know the English term for this in real estate), in the middle of September, and had gotten a firm to e

Keep in mind we are both males.

Thanks for the non judgmental comment. No he doesn’t ever say he will leave his wife or ask me to leave my husband. Our children are very young still, his especially and I know he would never break up the family due to them, and also the fact I genuinely know he loves his wife. He’s had the same job since high school (although he’s now manger) it’s the same company, he’s lived in the same house, and had the same wife, he very much doesn’t like change. I also would never leave my husband, I know my affair partner has more flaws than my husband, and I’m better off with my husband, and

Yeah you did, you slept with him while he was with his other girlfriend and used sex to keep him. And now are trying to play innocent and make it seem like this other girl is the problem when in reality you stirred everything up and then kick someone while they were down. Not cool.

I don't think this is going to end anytime soon...

Crushes, YES! All the time! but usually that’s where it ends. Crushes are fun and happen in the workplace a lot for this reason. but to say it would end up as a relationship, most likely not with that age difference. Not saying it never happens, bc it does! but I would chalk it up to a fun crush.

I don't know, as I said I totally get it. I'm open to casual dating as well but don't really want to know whatever else the girl's got going on. If she's there that night to see me it's off putting and not really something I want to know all about.

If he has went as far as to find her on tik tok and message her that way, he still wants her. Men don’t usually reach out to talk to exes to clear their conscience from guilt. They usually let it go and move on with their new relationship. I feel like he does want her still and is trying to talk to her any way he can.. he could be hanging on to you since his mom likes you so much, it probably makes his relationship with his mom much easier. but old feelings die hard and I think he still has feelings for her bc why else would he message her.

But can someone at his age get crush on someone young like me is it possible!?

Affairs usually end badly… it causes a lot of heartache to lots of people. You, him, the spouse, children that are already present…. has he talked about leaving his wife and does he want you to leave your husband? Is he wanting a relationship with you or just to keep a fling going? if not, he could just be enjoying the attention and time away from his wife. are you still pregnant and if so, do you know if it’s his or your husbands?

Whoa! I didn’t manipulate anything

As Gaeta said the OP started a thread a little over a week ago about FWB's. If he's talking to women about potential FWB situations they clearly aren't going to be real proper with him at times. Sounds like the OP might be trying to embark on something he's not real comfortable with.

Interesting that his mother loves you, the person that interfered in their lives, took the guy and used sex to keep or get control of the guy's life... but does not like the person that was wronged in the triangle that infringed. That makes little sense, when in reality you manipulated the situation to be preferred and favored...

That’s what I’m unsure of, isit lust, isit love, isit sex, is it escape, is it a mental breakdown, is it mutual. can lust last 20 years, becus I know how I feel is how I’ve always felt, I would never ever so much as talk to another man and be dishonest with my husband, but with him it doesn’t feel like cheating, it feels so right. I know it’s from, but it doesn’t feel wrong. would I really risk a life I love for just lust, or sex or something so insignificant.

Idk he said she had vengeful ways

I don't know about his true sexualty but he is married and he has kids.