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You really are going out of your way to miss the point, though. The point that I'm trying to make is that, even if the people we meet are attractive in one way or another, if we had the opportunity to date them all, we would ultimately have to rule most of them out, whether it took one date or five dates to do so. The fact of the matter is that someone may be the wrong fit for you but the right fit for somebody else. So rejection is not a death sentence. You have the capacity to improve your situation if you actually want to do it. As plenty of folks before me have pointed out, therapy w

its very different for men and women. if any of these supposed attractive and accomplished women i might meet asked me on a date, i would give it more than an hour to see if there was a connection. the men are not the sexual selectors of the species, women are. ive never met an attractive or accomplished woman that i wouldnt give my time to, if she asked. example, i met a girl at church who was gorgeous. we talked and hit it off. she was a chemical engineer. but her schedule never wouldve worked with mine (she gets up at 4:30 AM every day). so i never bothered to try to see her aga

I thought the whole point of Christianity was to be welcoming to everybody, whatever their flaws and shortcomings. Isn't the idea that all are sinners? As for the woman he liked, none of us met her or knows her. So it's not particularly helpful to put her on a pedestal. Maybe she has her own personal struggles. Maybe she felt insecure. Maybe she hasn't quite recovered from her last break-up.

I don't get that at all. But I have to say, as a general rule, if a good number of people are interpreting your words/actions a particular way, then it's just possible they have a point. It wouldn't hurt to take a break from defending yourself and just listen to what they're saying. Btw, I stand by my first post in this thread: she was never really that interested in you. She felt flattered by the attention she was getting from you. So I can't say I was surprised she came on one date and then that was it. And having said that, it doesn't automatically follow that there was somet

you make good points. the thing is, i got invested so fast because something like this is so rare for me, so when i does happen, i cant help but to get excited

Very good point….😊😊

Thank you so much. I appreciate it. I'm sure it will be. How could we not be happy at the happiest place on earth?

OP, you are in a difficult position but you seem to have wonderful and optimistic outlook. I hope the trip is a great deal of fun.

I do not think my ex would try to make any moves on me. While he does get a little flirty from time to time, we still remain very respectful of boundaries. I don't think I ever fully "fell out of love" - I have simply learned to accept that this is what it is and learned to be okay with reality. I guess there isn't anything "risky" but this will be the closest we will be in over 2 years. The last time I slept in the same room with him was 2 years ago so....I'm sure it will be awkward.

Good memory! Ugh. Don't get me started...he is still in my life. I have tried to cut ties with him more times than I can count. He is obsessive and psychotic. Nothing I do or say can convince him to leave but that's a whole other can of worms. I'm more focused on my kids at the moment and making sure my coparenting relationship is stable.

um...ok? wtf. thanks i guess...? sorry i offended you? or something? now im just freaking confused

I see a couple of comments like this one feeling bad for my dad...no worries at all! My dad honestly mostly felt bad for the kids because he sees so many kids going on trips with their parents that he did not want mine to miss out so he wanted to make plans to take them on a trip too but ever since finding out that their dad/my ex wanted to step up and take over, my dad was actually really happy about it because he mainly just wants the kids to have a great time. He even offered to help pay for the hotel.

Perhaps you're joking. Perhaps you're trolling. Perhaps you're out of control arrogant. But whatever it is, I'm done here

im fairly confident that after 5 dates, where i could really show who i am, she'd probably want to marry me. or after 5 dates, i could find something about her that was a dealbreaker. my point was, neither one of us will get to find out im joking/exaggerating obviously, but what i mean is, if there was ever going to be a "connection" or some kind of romantic thing with anyone, jeez you have to give it more time than one hour. for me, i just couldnt see meeting someone for an hour and making a judgement about their character, heart, if they would be a good partner, spouse, etc. etc. t

Sure, it may mean something to you, but it means nothing in the grand scheme of things. I've suggested a number of times that perhaps you should take this problem to your therapist. Discuss how your high hopes and confidence has been shattered over something you cannot control Good for you not limiting yourself to the beautiful women. As for the date, the bolded can all happen in a friendship or a brief connection. And of course she wouldn't fall in love with you then and there, but she needed to feel that certain X factor which makes her want to kiss you and keep having

buddy, no offense, seriously. but you dont know me. this is text on a computer screen about a specific situation, you could live 1000 miles away from me. you dont know anything about what behaviors i exhibit, and i think it would be quite POISONOUS if i took this kind of thing to heart from a person on the internet i will never meet youre nearly 70 years old, and you put this much stock in what you read about a narrow part of someone's life on a website? and you think your opinion on the same forum should be taken to heart?

@Gulf-Delta i'm not trying to encourage any bad thinking, but i understand how defeating it feels when you think you found something good and it flops. i highly romanticize things and can relate and sympathize with some of your reactions here because when you have a certain standard you like, it can be difficult to find people in that zone, i get it. i think the underlying thing most (of us) would encourage is....just....slow down a bit. your initial feeling is to dive in, that's fine, though it will help ease some of the pain of rejection if you just try to not let your brain invest so

My bank was hacked and all our info stolen. Then l registered to equifax to make sure my credit was not used and equifax got hacked and all our info was stolen!! Giving my phone number to a man on FB dating is my very last worry.

What does that even mean? Whether you believe, or approve of it or not: people take to other people, or else they do not, and a lot of the time it's because of a general feeling. Nobody needs to be a "psychic." I'm close to twice your age and I have quite a bit of experience in the world of relationships. I went through a period where I was questioning myself about not continuing to see people who were "good on paper," had no obvious red flags, but I just was not feeling it. So, I tried to hang in there more with a couple of them. Nope. For me, this was not goin

it does if youve never had one before this is the opposite of what professional therapists say. the FIRST time i saw my therapist, he told me to try to let go of the idea that my "self" is reliant other's perception of me. my goodness being conditional on what others think is a root of a lot of my problems. months ago i would spiral because i felt defective because no woman wants me. i had a horrid couple of nights about this once, it was the first tihng i brought up in therapy and was told "your value is not dependent on what others think of you." i felt exactly like you feel. ho

With reference to your title asking if this is "risky"....you know him better than we do. What risks are you concerned about? Do you think he might get into your bed? Or you'll fall in love again? Or that the kids will be confused? Or that money will get confusing?

What happened with the guy you were dating in your previous thread? Did he get fed up with your co-parenting arrangement?

Oh, your poor dad Aside from your father getting bumped for no fault of his own, I'm worried about the kids and the mixed messages they are going to receive with the two of you playing happy families when you're not actually getting back together

read other posts of mine in this thread. also, im not sure why everyone in this thread things people are psychics or something

Going on a date....a first date.... means nothing. I remember discussing this with my daughter. The first date crash was so common the she didn't expect anything from it. If it got to the second date, that's when she'd be getting a bit nervous because there was at least some kind of connection to work with. The feelings of "holy crap, this is really happening didn't come until there had been multiple great dates" You got waaay ahead of yourself. Why so binary? Defeatist will get you nowhere and being confident too early is foolish. I would say that "cautiously optimistic