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Oh, yeah, if there’s a flirtatious vibe I nip it in the bud. But most of the times it’s sort of borderline, if you know what I mean. Nothing openly flirtatious on their part, just chatting, but who knows. They would often post comments such as “Your fiancée is so beautiful! Lovely couple!”, so I’m thinking, they can’t possibly want something from me if they are happy to see me happy with my lady, right? Maybe they just like the stuff I do. And I am sort of vain, I like having fans, wouldn’t want to lose or alienate them. It’s sometimes such a fine line between liking my work and liking me

After half a year, my ex randomly texted me today, telling me he had a bad dream involving me and instructed me to cancel all my plans until 1 pm. As far as I remember, he rarely dreams. We broke up because he couldn’t cope with my depression following our miscarriage, which was his baby. He blocked me every time I relapsed, yet I always try to contact him. Now that I have let go of everything I have experienced with him. He reached out to me with this kind of message. I wanted to me scold him badly. before when I really needed him, he would leave, now it's only because of his unreas

I have seen societal problems with both genders, hence why I joined and posted this. Eventually when my head space is right I will want a relationship, right now I am seeking something physical. The backlash from my female friends was unexpected, not that I asked them to partake.

Unfortunately, since you absolutely will not grow or learn either, you are pretty much stuck exactly where you are now for another few decades. Unless something moves you to expand your narrow mind along the way. It could happen. But those types of things are more and more difficult to come by as we grow older. Unfortunately we become more ensconced in the primitive form we've been inhabiting for so many years. Often we even become virtual caricatures of ourselves, with emphasis on our most ridiculous and pathetic features.

There are societal biases against women who have casual sex, but there is nothing wrong with it. It's your life, your sexuality, your body. Just be safe. And if you get any negative blowback, f*** that. It has nothing to do with you. It's their problem.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I just think it paints me in a negative light if that makes sense to only be looking for something physical.

I can't think of why it's selfish as long as you and that person have an understanding and no one is misleading the other.

To want a friends with benefits? I really don't want to date right now. I am 2 months post break up from a toxic back and forth relationship. I am usually not into casual sex and I wouldn't even know how to find a FWB. I have gotten a lot of negative feedback from female friends however some of them engage in that behavior. Thoughts? Male Mid 40s.

Have you never had sex before? Is this your first time? I can appreciate that, but how much do you really have in common with a man who is your fathers age? If this becomes an actual relationship, how do you think your friends and family will react? There is lots to think about here before you get in any deeper… Personally, I think there is something really wrong with a 48 year old man who is pursuing a 24 year old young woman. There is a definite difference in experience and that creates an unbalanced power dynamic that really creeps me out. Be very careful here.

I didn't realise this until I became an older woman, but there's an instinct which seems to arrive where many of us start to want to protect the younger women from the things which happened to us via older men when we were younger. I'm certainly not saying that all older men are bad, but my past contains stuff related older men which from just plain icky to being sexually assaulted as a minor. It's far too easy for an older man to be smooth with a much younger woman. So yeah, while it may be hurtful that many of us get weird about older men with younger women, remember that many of

My multi quote is a bit glitchy (or I'm doing it wrong!) so I'm going to do my best >>my ex was wonderfully engaging but as much as I tried to force myself I could never really find her that physically attractive"<< If someone is not beautiful, no matter how much we try, they will not become beautiful - so this is quite normal. However, all the other traits come to the forefront and we fall in love and are sexually attracted to the person, not the skin. I ask you this: If you found a beautiful woman who ticks all the boxes and then she gets old and loses her looks...or

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Wow. Have to say you created a clever way of saying it without actually saying it, lol.

Your fiancée trusts you to maintain a healthy relationship boundary. That’s a very good thing. The next question becomes - are you able to maintain a healthy relationship boundary? In other words, are you worthy of the trust that your partner has placed in you? To date, the answer is yes. Also a very good thing. What exactly are you chatting about with the women that message you privately? Is it job related or does it veer to more personal discussion. If you are going to message with people online, I would set the boundary that it’s ok to chat with people about work but when the conv

No, no one is here to mock you for your past trauma. It might behoove you to realize that you're talking to a vast number of folks here you know NOTHING about. I guarantee that there are many who have significant traumas of their own that they've been dealing with. Heck. Among the gorgeous women you idolize and the non-beauties who you don't acknowledge are people who have experienced devastating events in their lives as well. Maybe there is some value in looking beyond the surface.

@ZA Dater Nobody is going mock you for your past trauma. Most of us suspected you’ve had a tough go of life when you were younger. It explains a lot of your beliefs and worldview. However despite your experiences, your worldview and beliefs when it comes to love and relationships is wrong. I was diagnosed with a severe social anxiety disorder as well as agoraphobia in my mid-30s. Approaching a woman at a party, bar, club or broadly any social gathering was never going to happen. All my romantic encounters were through people I knew (social circle, school, work etc.) and t

What you want is not difficult at all. There are thousands of men who would be happy to have any kind of sex you want and would be thrilled that you don't want an emotional connection. Just let them know what you want up front and that could be happening as soon as tonight. I agree about the ring, wearing them makes men think you're committed to someone and won't approach you. Leave it home.

Of course you're okay. You're just a late starter. Some women in their 50s and 60s have ridiculously high sex drives. Why are you worried about it rather than just relaxing and enjoying it? If you aren't feeling sexually satisfied and fulfilled, find another partner. Obviously, this one can't get the job done.

There are hundreds, THOUSANDS of men who will happily have NSA sex with women. They may not want to have it with married women, so I suggest removing the wedding ring. It's up to you not to get emotionally enmeshed with casual sex partners. If they seem to want more than you want, just move on.

No, no, no. Limiting time with your subordinate is NOT "another loss," akin to your mom dying, or akin to being in an unsatisfying marriage and divorcing after 30 years. Those are real and devastating losses that take years to work through. You're trying to turn this woman into a "rebound" relationship. Rebounds always crash, and you end up on the ground in worse pain than the pain you were originally trying to escape through the rebound. You cannot skip the painful process of grief and rebirth by getting infatuated with a woman 28 years younger. I do know how easy it is to get infat

I have changed what I have been doing multiple times, care to explain why in ten years I have not got any decent matches on OLD and care to explain why this would be different if I sat in multiple coffee shops for example each day? If someone is passing on me on a dating app there is no way that will change in person. My ego had nothing to do with it and she was much higher value than me on most levels. Quite why she put up with me is something I have always wondered. Alright I going to disclose some deeply hurtful memories, perhaps for perspective. I'd appreciate if this was not th

I think I have been somewhat at explaining that there is a huge degree of intangible to what I find attractive, its not something that can be easily described, its simply a feeling which I think sounds ridiculous but its exactly what it is. I have sat around very attractive people and not had this so its not about looks, a lot about it is how someone engages BUT this alone cannot make up for a lack of physical attraction. My ex was wonderfully engaging but as much as I tried to force myself I could never really find her that physically attractive. The bold is one of the things I look at most a

Are you in a relationship that you are comfortable in? As long as you're healthy and everything checks out why not enjoy this reawakening? Not sure what you need help with if you're medically okay and your relationship is satisfactory.

Sorry this is happening. Did you know about all these supposed family problems? He was obviously pondering it all along and seems insincere about you going with him or sustaining a LDR. If you're the last to know anything about him and he keeps you in the dark like this perhaps you need to rethink the situation.

You're so right. If he's interested he will continue making it work. THANKS!