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You weren't right, though. It still ended up the same way, with her opting out.

I don't think you ever should have tired to persuade her to change her mind to begin with.

Of course I played it cool, I said the right words and changed her mind because sje understood I was right. I say it again she told me to meet again that day and discuss it better, and then she kissed me first and felt something and deeper and decided to continue it, do you believe I did something wrong the first time?

This. And OP, believe me when I say she got a whiff of this when you pressured her to stay with you when she tried to break it off the first time. You might think you played it cool there but you don't understand how that looks to a woman. And really, all of this for a woman you went out with ...how many times?

She's at home. You went over to her house. People wear comfy stuff at home. People also usually have stuff at home that they need to bend over to do. I still think it's ridiculous to analyze it to this degree... But if I had to make a guess, I'd say that it means that she views you as a "girlfriend", in the sense that she doesn't need to change into socially acceptable clothes when you come over.

What does it matter? She has told you she doesn't want to date you and doesn't feel the way you do. Certainly not telling you she doesn't feel the way you do and doesn't want to continue. That was definitive. It's enough to know you just don't want to see the person again. You don't seem to understand how attraction and dating works. At all. And your sense of entitlement to this girl's time and attention is off the charts. She owes you nothing.

I think it was about 6 weeks ago that I had the more than friends chat with him, his response was no I don’t want a relationship at this point, when I asked about dating he was like no not really keen you then when I said what about hanging out more having more sex and seeing if anything more answer was keen on that. Then we had the whole talk about it he said I think there might be something more as we get on well and have good sex it’s was so confusing. I guess I’m hoping in the past 6 weeks he’s changed his mind. We always cuddle after sex when I stay over Z

Tell her it's bothering you, if she continues, do what you need to do to make it clear that you will be moving forward on your own.

It would be a lot easier if it was Sony but I promise you it isn’t 😞 I know it’s no good for me

Sending her after a month a "how are you" means that I still chase her? Because it was her first romantic experience I believe she felt like it was too much for her and that's why she felt overwhelmed and when I started to push pressure on her she tried to end the conversation and stay alone and think. Plenty of people need time to think things better, I'm not saying she will come back but she clearly felt confused, yes she took some answers about me but for everyone who wants something serious a week isn't enough to decide, have you ever heard any couple saying that they developed feelings wi

If you are going to continue getting together with the guy then that is your choice but you know how people are going to respond to your situation if you choose to continue talking here. This situation has started to become so absurd I almost hope this is just a story you have created.

1. No 😑 we've never been on dates or out in public only to his house 2. Not exactly - we've slept together about 8 times now once with a threesome with his friend,but yes he wants a threesome and always asks if other girls are keen to come with me when we do meet 3. No he doesn't as he's in a lot of debt but that isn't a dealbreaker for me 4. Not exactly but I always being the drink and a couple of times he's asked me to get some more but that's ok 5.Not all the time. I probably do text him too much to be fair 6. Yes I always instigate the contact, and then he'll say

i want to see if i have this straight: 1. he doesn't take you on dates or see you in public 2. he only invites you over because you have sex with him, and also doesn't want to have sex with you unless you bring along another woman 3. he doesn't have any money 4. he sends you on errands to get groceries 5. he ignores your texts during the week 6. he only texts you when he wants you to come have sex with him, and speaks nicely only at that time

I allow her to meet her ex even at 5 AM in the morning, who is our mutual friend. I allow her to live every second day with her another ex's sister, take care of her house etc.. I must be really controlling. 👍

but if she did this with women, that's not an issue for you? is there anything else you want to control about her life, or any other types of people you don't allow her to speak to?

Yes but I explained that I wasn't like that when I was with her

What about engaging in a casual few minutes conversation with a guy who approaches you in the street, clearly hits on you, says you're pretty and invites you for a coffee (or house, the other guy). Then sharing your instagram to him so he hits on you even more but in DMs, and following him on IG to satisfy your curiosity about him or to keep him around just in case? Then hiding that from your BF? Is that perfectly fine in a relationship...?

Why are you so desperately hoping that she doesn’t know what she wants? Let’s say it’s true, she doesn’t know what she wants. She gets together with you, then breaks up with you, then maybe she realizes she wants you after all and she gets together with you again, then she realizes again that she doesn’t know what she wants and breaks up with you again… Why would you want that? Wouldn’t you rather be with a woman who knows what she wants? You need to have more self respect. Don’t chase a woman who has rejected you, for whatever reasons.

He is selling his own house at the moment but is in a lot of debt x

A 40 year old guy with no money. What a catch.

You’re being very clearly obsessive now.

But did she agree to meet him? Was it a one on one meeting? You didn’t mention that in your original post. If they are meeting one on one too much, then I’d say you aren’t being possessive or jealous, just uncomfortable. I’d feel uncomfortable too. But in my opinion, social media doesn’t really mean anything. I don’t see the need to block people for reasons like that.

I normally bring the drink and I did bring some in his own words he has no money

So in other words he is having you do his shopping for him. Most people usually make sure drinks are already available when they are with a date.

No he said to get some more drink as we didn’t have enough