nospam99 Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Just throwing another idea out there for those 'in search of' .... Those of you who recognize my handle know I'm a strong advocate for OLD for the 55+ crowd. I haven't mentioned it before, but I've also tried speed dating with equally 'good' results. Good is defined in this context as meeting several compatible, interesting women BUT not yet in my sought LTR. I haven't followed up with any of the speed dating ladies yet because I'm still 'working though' the good OLD matches. A lot (not all) of you searching LSers have written that you are unhappy with OLD. How about speed dating? Better luck? I think it will be helpful to specify your age because, to the extent that speed dating is like OLD, results may be very dependent on age. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 Hi... 52 year old guy, here. Presently, I'm in a LTR with a woman I met in "Real Life". I tried "Speed Dating" about 15 years ago, but I didn't like it. I matched with a couple of people, but when I tried to follow up, most of my phone calls/e-mails were not returned. And yes I left a voicemail when I called. I did actually go out on a date with one person I matched with, but she turned out to be a nut job. I was so happy when the date ended, couldn't get away from her fast enough. She put on a good show for those 8 minutes we talked during the "speed dating" session, but given a proper social situation she was socially awkward and her life was a complete disaster. She was looking for someone to "rescue" her from the mess she had created. So, I just went back to meeting people in "real life"... It works better for me. To each his own... Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 How do you even find a speed dating event? I don't think forty somethings do that around my area. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nospam99 Posted March 17, 2018 Author Share Posted March 17, 2018 How do you even find a speed dating event? I don't think forty somethings do that around my area. I don't know if LS lets me post a URL for a speed dating business. I'll send you a URL in a PM because I'm not in 'this' to advertise for them. Where I am they have events between once and twice each month. Each event is age specified over a 20 year span. Since Sept there has been one event for my age group (50s-60s) but 5 for 40s-50s and 6 for 30s-40s. I met 6 women at my event and 3 of them were mutually interested in me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Penguin_hugs Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 I met my boyfriend at a speed dating event- I am 25 and he is 28. I actually posted a thread about tips for speed dating at the time. For me it was a massively positive experience. I saw an advert on facebook for a company called Slow Dating that gives you 4 mins per person. I was drawn in by the advert showing a real life couple on their wedding date- who reveal in the groom's speech that they met speed dating and 4 mins is all it takes. I was having a low moment after being ghosted by yet another person from OLD so I booked to go. Regretted it after but dragged myself to the event- and am very pleased I did! It was in a local cocktail bar (I live in a coastal town), there was a set age range- this one was titled "20s and 30s". There were 18 girls and 15 guys and we had 4 minutes. The host was really friendly giving us our numbers and people started chatting. I ended up making some female friends at the event- which I really needed to do- because I'm not overly sociable outside of work and don't always have the confidence to go join clubs and meet up groups. I meet up with these girls still. Anyway- I got chatting to a guy before the event had actually started as he sat down at my table in error. 20 mins later and we were still chatting ?. He was only really there to keep his housemate company who was the one actively trying to get a date out of the event. Anyway- back to the event- it was really interesting chatting to so many people- sometimes you could tell instantly that someone wasn't right for you- but usually it was just fun conversation. I had to log on to there online system the next day to submit my matches- I picked 4 and had 11 guys tick me- with a total of 2 matches. One being the guy who I'd chatted with for 20 mins. Once we matched the site sent us each other's mobile numbers and he text me 10 mins later to arrange a coffee date! It's like the rest is history now and we've been "official" for 2 months. Overall, going to the event massively increased my confidence, I felt "dateable"- I was quite amazed by the number of guys who ticked me and it was a really positive experience. I felt like I was buzzing afterwards. Because even with things like OLD- there is such a lot of buildup and you can usually tell within a few mins of meeting whether this is right. For £15 and an evening of my time- it weeded out a lot of the rubbish I would have experience with OLD. Plus I got a boyfriend and 2 new friends out of it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 (edited) How do you even find a speed dating event? I don't think forty somethings do that around my area. Just google "speed dating your city". I went to a few events when I was newly single. I'm embarrassed to say it was because I was afraid I might ruin any reconciliation chances at the time if my ex had seen me online. I actually did pretty well with approximately 80-90% selecting me. Unfortunately the women there really weren't my type. I went out with a few but didn't really want to pursue anything with them. One went a few dates but I decided to cut it off due to kid/ex husband drama). Here are my thoughts on speed dating vs OLD: Speed dating: Pros - You meet them in person so can gauge attraction - You usually meet 7-10 people so it's efficient - No deception common with pics on OLD - They are usually age specific so you tend to know the ranges - People are usually local - "Dates" are usually 3-7 minutes - Can tell if there is instant chemistry - People tend to be more serious rather than just looking for attention racking up matches - You get an email on who likes you and who you matched with but can break the rules and go on an actual date that night or call people you didn't pick but changed your mind now that you found they picked you (they don't give your info to people who you didn't pick) - Some have a friends option so you can meet a person of the opposite sex you're not attracted to, but would like to be friends with Cons - It can be overwhelming to meet so many people so quickly and remember everything about them - There are no stats on people (what they do, if they have kids, hobbies, etc). Many of the women had kids which isn't what I'm seeking. Some I didn't find out about until on a real date. - Women usually sit and are blocked by a table so you can't tell if they are bottom heavy where a lot of women put on weight (this happened to me a lot - I started actually dropping my pen on the floor to check lol) - You are cut off suddenly when things are going well - You have a short time to make an impression. Most guys ask the same boring questions (what do you do, where do you live, etc.). - Women tend to bring friends (they group together, you might have to pass them both to get to one, they might both like you and cause tension for the other - I actually ended up going on a date with a girl and her friend who both liked me, but I only liked one) - Found it was more desperate people than OLD - Can be 10 people you don't find attractive OLD: Pros - People usually list stats (age, kids, hobbies) - Much more of a selection - Can meet people you never would out of your town - Don't have to leave the house to browse Cons - A lot of attention seekers with no plans to ever meet - Pics can be deceiving/years old - Exhausting to go out on dates and get no connection - Too much attention for women, lack of attention to guys/rejection/ignored - Selection is based primarily on looks - personality doesn't come through - Tired cliches in profiles (love to travel, laugh, eat, looking for partner in crime, no hookups) that grow insanely annoying - Frustration comes easily - Many looking for perfection and keep searching due to sheer volume of options I've got a speed dating event coming up at the end of the month. What's different about this one is they are themed rather than age based. They have events for women who like tall guys, hot guys, hung guys, guys who like blondes, bottoms looking for tops (gay), guys who like small women, and white guys who like Asian women (the one I'm going to). It's a different take and targets a specific preference rather than age group. Seems to make sense because you can end up in a room with 10 bald/fat guys who happen to be in your age range despite you not liking that. Edited March 17, 2018 by SevenCity Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 17, 2018 Share Posted March 17, 2018 I wanted to try speed dating when I was single in my late 30s. The events kept getting cancelled because there were never enough men to hold the event. Finally I demanded my money back after 6 months of them never having an event. From my limited experience I was encourage guys to attend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts