Mysterio Posted May 29, 2017 Share Posted May 29, 2017 (edited) So wherever you are in life. Do you see patterns in your dating that lead to success or confusion? For me. It seems when I don't care. Women that are romantically interested in me. Pop out a lot more. If I am on the hunt. Even if I have not expressed any type of romantic attraction to them in real life. They always seemed to be attached. Rarely has there ever been a mutual attraction at the same time. I like them. They are attached. They like me. It works out for a little bit, before it gets serious. Most of the women are younger by 5-8 yrs. I meet them in a structured setting where I see them over and over again. So its never like talking to a woman at a Starbucks or some other store. All the girls that really liked me romantically admitted after knowing them for a little bit. Its almost like the universe is saying to me. You Mysterio have to let Love come to you. There is no need to seek it. So I have been fighting with myself to not date, but I don't know why this part of my life is so complicated. I wish it was more cut and dry. Edited May 29, 2017 by Mysterio Link to post Share on other sites
teak Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 My pattern is that I attract men who want to leave their wives, need the extra motivation to leave their wives, or have just recently left their wives and are on the verge of divorce. I've had a couple of male friends even start talking about leaving their wives, and I'm like "do not." I create some apparent illusion of a life of carefree freedom, and really it's impossible and unattainable. I really resent that that is my vibe. I have to work and I have struggles like anyone else. So it just ends up with them finding out the reality that I am just a normal person, too. I'm not an oasis. I have needs. This above is all to say that I attract emotionally unavailable partners. It may be good for a year or 2 or even 3, but there is always a point we reach that goes right back to the fact that they just wanted to have someone fun and carefree to get them through a rough time. So, I stopped doing that. I still attract these people. I just refuse to date them. I want what's best for me. So far being single has been very easy. It'll be great when that person who actually really "gets" me comes along, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted June 14, 2017 Author Share Posted June 14, 2017 When I look at my male friends patterns in dating All of the ones that are attached now. Did nothing much to land their mate. It was more the women coming towards the men, than vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 When I was younger I noticed a pattern. I was very aggressive & teasing / bantering in the beginning. I dated a lot of hot Alpha male players & had a great time but even then I realized this wasn't very healthy. You can't base a relationship on competition. When I dialed it back, I met more balanced loving men. Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 Man, that is very dependent on your views of "success". If you are talking merely of options, then it seems you are arguing or rationalizing for a build it and they will come mentality. I understand it. Been there, and done that. Found it completely unfulfilling. Went into aggressively "picking up" women, found that very valuable in a lot of ways, but ultimately unfulfilling too. Next step? I think to build relationships of virtue. Link to post Share on other sites
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