Thedubman Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 (edited) I'm 26 years old. Ok I recently(2 weeks ago) broke things off with a girl I met on Pof after dating for a month. She was my first everything. Before her, I've never been in a romantic type of relationship before. When we first met it was my first date with a women ever. I cut things off because I was just not physically attracted to her and wanted to end things before it went to far because I didn't want to hurt her. Now I am regretting it for some reason and I dont know why. Do you think it's because I've never been on a date before and she was the first and only one I ever had a romantic relationship with? And more importantly how do I keep this up? I did surprisingly well I thought on my first ever dates and I'm ready to meet more women but I don't know how other than pof which seems to work, always get tons of replies but never turns into anything and want to start taking the in person approach which I believe I would do better with but don't know where to meet women? Any advice for someone that's in recovery( I don't go to bars, clubs etc which makes it More difficult) on places where I can go to meet women? i want to continue dating while my confidence is really high. Edited April 24, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs ~6 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Recovery? From what? If you mentioned it, I did not see it. 26 and you are going on your first date? That's unusual, why the wait? You can hang out on a busy street corner and chat up every girl that walks by but you will probably be seen as creepy. POF or an online dating site is ideal as are bars/clubs because there is a concentration of singles looking to meet someone. So you dated a girl that you don't find attractive? Why? Is that what you are saying that you are in recovery from? Is that why your confidence is high? I can't imagine getting a confidence boost from starting and failing at a relationship with someone that I didn't find physically attractive. You are probably going to have to give more details to get any valid answers to your question. Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Sometimes its best bot to anylize too much. I think that you should just keep moving on. Meet other women and let it just flow from there. Put it this way. Don't make women the main source of your life. Until one becomes your GF/Wife. Just date when it happens and find other interests as well. I think too much focus on one factor of your life, dilutes and takes a lot of fun out of living. Not to suggest thats what your doing. Just make sure that you don't get consumed by the mentality of doing right and wrong things in dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Herbalist Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Some Advice: 1. If you don't find someone attractive at all, then don't go on a date with them. You are wasting their time. She could have been dating another guy that month but instead was with you. 2. If you realize that you don't have chemistry with someone, then yes it is a good thing to respectfully break things off. Don't go back to them later for a self-esteem boost, though, or you will be obnoxious f***boy. 3. Try not to base your self-esteem on how well your dates go. It's mostly chemistry which is a volatile variable. Next time a woman you find attractive might date you for a month, and then decide she could do better and dump you. You don't want to be having a self-esteem crisis if that happens. Dating is not a competitive sport, contrary to what PUA beta bloggers might have you believe. 4. Yes, it's perfectly normal to get some different types of weird and fleeting anxiety when you first start dating, including second-guessing yourself after turning someone down, for example. The other aspect of your attitude, as far as wanting to get more dating experience and just meet people / explore is a healthy attitude, provided you respect yourself and others. 5. Congratz on recovery! And good on you for staying away from the bars and others alcohol-heavy scenes. Some other options would be any sorts of events in your area. Festivals, fairs, charity events, etc are great places to meet people in general, including potentially single women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dtrain2EtOWN Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Some Advice: 1. If you don't find someone attractive at all, then don't go on a date with them. You are wasting their time. She could have been dating another guy that month but instead was with you. 2. If you realize that you don't have chemistry with someone, then yes it is a good thing to respectfully break things off. Don't go back to them later for a self-esteem boost, though, or you will be obnoxious f***boy. 3. Try not to base your self-esteem on how well your dates go. It's mostly chemistry which is a volatile variable. Next time a woman you find attractive might date you for a month, and then decide she could do better and dump you. You don't want to be having a self-esteem crisis if that happens. Dating is not a competitive sport, contrary to what PUA beta bloggers might have you believe. 4. Yes, it's perfectly normal to get some different types of weird and fleeting anxiety when you first start dating, including second-guessing yourself after turning someone down, for example. The other aspect of your attitude, as far as wanting to get more dating experience and just meet people / explore is a healthy attitude, provided you respect yourself and others. 5. Congratz on recovery! And good on you for staying away from the bars and others alcohol-heavy scenes. Some other options would be any sorts of events in your area. Festivals, fairs, charity events, etc are great places to meet people in general, including potentially single women. Most excellent! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thedubman Posted April 29, 2017 Author Share Posted April 29, 2017 Recovery? From what? If you mentioned it, I did not see it. 26 and you are going on your first date? That's unusual, why the wait? You can hang out on a busy street corner and chat up every girl that walks by but you will probably be seen as creepy. POF or an online dating site is ideal as are bars/clubs because there is a concentration of singles looking to meet someone. So you dated a girl that you don't find attractive? Why? Is that what you are saying that you are in recovery from? Is that why your confidence is high? I can't imagine getting a confidence boost from starting and failing at a relationship with someone that I didn't find physically attractive You are probably going to have to give more details to get any valid answers to your question. The struggle is real bro finding a date when you are reserved, you make it sound easy to get a date. Any advice? The wait is not by choice Link to post Share on other sites
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