I Want To Lose My Virginity...

[circlesinfinity]

I am totally ready to have sex. It is more than me just being, "horny". I have not felt this way since I hit my late 20s. I am 29, I will be 30 before I know it; an attractive woman, entering my career (finally!) and still a virgin. I am definitely glad that I waited but I feel that I should've lost it a long time ago only because everyone who lost it early is married now.

 

Later in life, I was told that no one will want to marry a virgin. I am not religious or anything but it would be great if the right kind of guy hurried up already!

 

I worry that I might just do it with some nice guy that I am comfortable with but who is not the one. The funny thing is that I don't even know any nice guys and I don't even have guy friends.

 

I've been waiting alooooooooooong time, patient, I've cut off guys who were not a good fit for me...I mean my tolerance was low and still is.

 

What should I do? I want it to be special but I have no idea how to get a good man.

Edited February 11, 2016 by circlesinfinity

[LostOnes05]

My number is....

 

Just kidding. Kudos to you. But don't fall into the trap of "the one". It could have you chasing some jerk for a long time whose only goal was to take your virginity. There are good guys out there like myself (shameless plug...I know) but no one is going to be perfect. It's really up to what you are willing to accept and not accept. Keep your filters high and you'll find someone special to share that with. Best of luck!!

[circlesinfinity]

My number is....

 

Just kidding. Kudos to you. But don't fall into the trap of "the one". It could have you chasing some jerk for a long time whose only goal was to take your virginity. There are good guys out there like myself (shameless plug...I know) but no one is going to be perfect. It's really up to what you are willing to accept and not accept. Keep your filters high and you'll find someone special to share that with. Best of luck!!

Lol thank you LostOnes05

[darkbloom]

Not going to lie, it's really underwhelming to lose it. Like opening a gift you were really looking foward to getting, only to find out that it's not what you really wanted.

[circlesinfinity]

Not going to lie, it's really underwhelming to lose it. Like opening a gift you were really looking foward to getting, only to find out that it's not what you really wanted.

Aw, that sucks.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

... yeah, just be yourself, BUT start actively going out there and participating in LIFE.

 

 

Do whatever it takes to meet more people.

 

 

Take a class somewhere ... in a subject where you have sincere interest... no matter WHO you talk with in the class - they are likely to have friends, brothers, coworkers... whoever... people you might one day MEET.

 

 

Be proactive in this...

 

 

You don't have to meet people in pressure situations where "dating" is central to the context of the meetings... just do things with others.

[BettyDraper]

Not going to lie, it's really underwhelming to lose it. Like opening a gift you were really looking foward to getting, only to find out that it's not what you really wanted.

 

I found my first time to be physically uncomfortable and awkward.

However, it was emotionally satisfying and very romantic. I had been with my first love for over a year and sex added a new dimension to our relationship.

 

OP, if finding "The One" is so important to you I suggest waiting until marriage to have sex. There are plenty of men who would prefer to marry a virgin because those types want a "pure" woman.

 

If you don't want to wait that long, do not let anyone you date know that you are a virgin until you have been together for a few months and you trust that he isn't just looking to deflower you.

[Tayla]

There are no lost and found once its done.

 

What a responsible person you are to wait til its more welcoming in your life!

 

I commend you for retaining this virtue.

 

Hopefully you have some female friends that can give you pointers.

 

The first time will be a mixed bag. Physically it can be discomforting ... and awkward unless the chap is versed in slow and steady.

 

Have you prepared with birth control or contraceptives?

 

Relax , it will happen when you give the welcoming approach.

[dreamingoftigers]

Not going to lie, it's really underwhelming to lose it. Like opening a gift you were really looking foward to getting, only to find out that it's not what you really wanted.

 

Really?

 

Mine was intense and I felt very close to my bf at the time, like we belonged sort of to each other.

 

I didn't feel that way again until my husband.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I am totally ready to have sex. It is more than me just being, "horny". I have not felt this way since I hit my late 20s. I am 29, I will be 30 before I know it; an attractive woman, entering my career (finally!) and still a virgin. I am definitely glad that I waited but I feel that I should've lost it a long time ago only because everyone who lost it early is married now.

 

Later in life, I was told that no one will want to marry a virgin. I am not religious or anything but it would be great if the right kind of guy hurried up already!

 

I worry that I might just do it with some nice guy that I am comfortable with but who is not the one. The funny thing is that I don't even know any nice guys and I don't even have guy friends.

 

I've been waiting alooooooooooong time, patient, I've cut off guys who were not a good fit for me...I mean my tolerance was low and still is.

 

What should I do? I want it to be special but I have no idea how to get a good man.

 

It's very strange for me to understand how you can think sex is so special when you have never had it.

 

But that's just my opinion.

 

Sex to me, is just a thing, a bodily function. I could fulfill my sexual urges from masturbation. It'd be nicer to have a best pal, someone I could depend on for life.

 

People are different though. Some people are very spiritual, I'm very practical and I value friendship. You should look for men who are very spiritual.

Edited February 12, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember

[deckard11]

Not going to lie, it's really underwhelming to lose it. Like opening a gift you were really looking foward to getting, only to find out that it's not what you really wanted.

 

Speak for yourself. I was relieved when I lost mine (at 27) and it was awesome!

[darkbloom]

I waited until I was 22 to lose mine. I was very much in love with him.

 

I think movies and society try to make sex look glamorous and 'sexy.' The reality is that it is not. It's awkward, there's a lot of fumbling, it's uncomfortable, and there's a lot of you trying to figure out what to do.

 

Afterwards, I felt like 'This is what everyone is making a big deal about?' Society wrapped sex in this nice shiny wrapping paper and told you it's what you wanted. Opening the gift was messy and then after you have it, there's nothing really that special about it.

[Saf17]

I wanted to make the 'my number is' joke but I'm late to the party

 

I don't want to be little you or anything, I personally think you've done an amazing thing and there are completely guys who would marry a Virgin. It wouldn't bother myself at all, I care about the type of person you are, not how many or if you've had sex.

 

However, I'm going through a marriage breakup and I married her because I thought she was the one. I was absolutely convinced we would go the distance. The reason I'm here replying is because I don't want you to get hurt. You will, but I'm trying to soften the blow. It's highly unlikely the person you lose it to will be yours for life. It's possible, but please please prepare yourself for the possibility that it won't be. You deserve to know the truth and I really hope the guy you lose it to, is the one for you for life and you don't get hurt

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Well usually that's how it is, most of the time if a woman is a virgin, its because she chooses to be

[Qboro90]

Do you date? How do you find the men you go out with? Do you have any close girl friends? See if they know anyone that they think you'd like and can introduce during a casual night out or get together. Get on OLD. Most people nowadays use that after college to socialize and date so there's plenty of suitable men on there that you can take your pick from.

 

I'd be careful about waiting for "the one" to lose your virginity to. What if you meet that person and have sex and then you realize how much you enjoy sex and how vital it can be to a healthy relationship. Then think about if that guy doesn't fit your new mindset once you've experienced sex. He no longer will be the one.

 

How can a guy be "the one" and be perfect for you, when you don't even know yet, what kind of physical relationship you want/need/are happy with for yourself yet? What if they guy you lose your virgihity to wants to have sex every day and you only enjoy it once or twice a week? What if it's the opposite and he only wants it once a week and therefore that leads to you thinking he's not attracted to you or desireable?

 

What if you lose it to a guy who wants you to do things that aren't the normal things couples do, yet you have no experience or wherewithal to know that you don't have to do those things and it's not common. There's so many unknowns about someone if you don't know their physical wants and preferences.

 

What if your first time is with someone who fails to make you orgasm? What if the only way you can orgasm is by oral sex and the guy you're with doesn't like to go down on you? Are you going to want to Marry someone and go through life without ever having an orgasm, or ever having your partner bring you to one?

 

Im not saying just give it away and sleep with the next guy who says hello to you. But seriously consider dropping this "waiting for the one" mentality. You have no knowledge about a large part of your physical self and what you like and need from a man you're dating in that regard. Explore and I bet you will find the long term relationship sooner then you would by continuing your celibate search.

[ZA Dater]

Do you date? How do you find the men you go out with? Do you have any close girl friends? See if they know anyone that they think you'd like and can introduce during a casual night out or get together. Get on OLD. Most people nowadays use that after college to socialize and date so there's plenty of suitable men on there that you can take your pick from.

 

I'd be careful about waiting for "the one" to lose your virginity to. What if you meet that person and have sex and then you realize how much you enjoy sex and how vital it can be to a healthy relationship. Then think about if that guy doesn't fit your new mindset once you've experienced sex. He no longer will be the one.

 

How can a guy be "the one" and be perfect for you, when you don't even know yet, what kind of physical relationship you want/need/are happy with for yourself yet? What if they guy you lose your virgihity to wants to have sex every day and you only enjoy it once or twice a week? What if it's the opposite and he only wants it once a week and therefore that leads to you thinking he's not attracted to you or desireable?

 

What if you lose it to a guy who wants you to do things that aren't the normal things couples do, yet you have no experience or wherewithal to know that you don't have to do those things and it's not common. There's so many unknowns about someone if you don't know their physical wants and preferences.

 

What if your first time is with someone who fails to make you orgasm? What if the only way you can orgasm is by oral sex and the guy you're with doesn't like to go down on you? Are you going to want to Marry someone and go through life without ever having an orgasm, or ever having your partner bring you to one?

 

Im not saying just give it away and sleep with the next guy who says hello to you. But seriously consider dropping this "waiting for the one" mentality. You have no knowledge about a large part of your physical self and what you like and need from a man you're dating in that regard. Explore and I bet you will find the long term relationship sooner then you would by continuing your celibate search.

 

The bold part made me laugh, I wont even ask you to qualify that statement. OLD is the home of guys who are looking for a quick hookup and not much more, how you can equate them to being suitable for the opening poster only you know.

 

 

"Most people", how many is most people? Sweeping general statements with no basis of fact.

 

 

As for "the one", did you ever consider the context in which this was being used, perhaps the OP simply means someone she gets on really well with the has a strong attraction to, as opposed to someone who is neither here nor there.

 

 

The variables here, as I seem them are.

: Give it away to anyone and hope its pleasant, unlikely to be.

: Wait for someone to woo you, who you really like and isn't looking to get into your pants after one date

: Take things to the next level with an existing male friend.

 

 

I am a 31yo guy and I wont be giving mine away unless someone who meets all my lengthy list of criteria, magically appears.

[Qboro90]

The bold part made me laugh, I wont even ask you to qualify that statement. OLD is the home of guys who are looking for a quick hookup and not much more, how you can equate them to being suitable for the opening poster only you know.

 

 

"Most people", how many is most people? Sweeping general statements with no basis of fact.

 

 

As for "the one", did you ever consider the context in which this was being used, perhaps the OP simply means someone she gets on really well with the has a strong attraction to, as opposed to someone who is neither here nor there.

 

 

The variables here, as I seem them are.

: Give it away to anyone and hope its pleasant, unlikely to be.

: Wait for someone to woo you, who you really like and isn't looking to get into your pants after one date

: Take things to the next level with an existing male friend.

 

 

I am a 31yo guy and I wont be giving mine away unless someone who meets all my lengthy list of criteria, magically appears.

 

Dude... Stop. Everything you think about women, dating, socializing is completely wrong. You've gotten an infinite amount of suggestions, feedback, advice, opinions that would help you interact with women, and people in general better but you fail to ever do anything other than what You feel like doing.... Which is nothing at all and then complain about how the world is unfair and how dating is a game you're not made for.

 

Do the posters who aren't aware of your threads and experience a favor and cease giving them your opinion or "factually presented" comments that have 0 basis other than being your own perception of things. You're doing them a disservice by posing as someone who knows what they're talking about. You don't... If you want to believe the dating options out there are hopeless and a waste of time then by all means do so for yourself.... But drop the plan to drag everyone else down into the misery and self sabatoging complacency that you've built a home around.

 

The bold part made you laugh? The millions of people who successfully use OLD must be from some other planet huh?

[Qboro90]

Back to being 31 again? You were 32 yesterday in another one of your threads. Since you have a time machine, hop in it and go back to when you made your decision to "study" instead of socialize with literally every human being around you for 15 years....

 

The only thing you can be sure of is that you need to go to ______. (Hint: rhymes with pherapy).

 

P.S. Usually 31 yo completely inexperienced and unsuccessful virgins make their "criteria list" shorter as they get older.... Somehow you've added to the list and literally make it harder for yourself to do anything positive, while consciously eliminating 99% of the suitable female opportunities around you. And please spare me the "they're all obese or don't have general knowledge" or "not one girl has ever asked me anything about myself".

 

The odds that you're a troll get higher and higher by the day

Edited February 13, 2016 by Qboro90
Duplicate

[lana-banana]

I think the more expectations and pressure you put on your first sexual experience, the more unsatisfying it will be. You're somewhat lucky in that most men your age have ample sexual experience and are more likely to be in tune with your needs. But I wouldn't expect a smooth start. Losing my virginity was completely underwhelming! It hurt, it was weird, and I felt zero emotional connection to the guy I was with.* It was over a year afterwards before I actually enjoyed sex...and more than three years after that before I could achieve orgasm during intercourse.

 

Sex is like a sport. It takes time, experimentation, and most of all practice. Stay in tune with your body and try not to take it too seriously!

 

* = I feel like this is a very important point that is often misrepresented. That whole garbage about "bonding hormones" and such is just that: garbage. Unless you already feel deeply attached to someone sex is unlikely to change that. When you do truly love someone sex can be an incredible experience, but it doesn't make people fall in love.

[ZA Dater]

Dude... Stop. Everything you think about women, dating, socializing is completely wrong. You've gotten an infinite amount of suggestions, feedback, advice, opinions that would help you interact with women, and people in general better but you fail to ever do anything other than what You feel like doing.... Which is nothing at all and then complain about how the world is unfair and how dating is a game you're not made for.

 

Do the posters who aren't aware of your threads and experience a favor and cease giving them your opinion or "factually presented" comments that have 0 basis other than being your own perception of things. You're doing them a disservice by posing as someone who knows what they're talking about. You don't... If you want to believe the dating options out there are hopeless and a waste of time then by all means do so for yourself.... But drop the plan to drag everyone else down into the misery and self sabatoging complacency that you've built a home around.

 

The bold part made you laugh? The millions of people who successfully use OLD must be from some other planet huh?

 

How you about have a little less arrogance with the porridge and read what I actually typed instead of going off topic completely. If I am so wrong why is the stereotype about OLD guys just looking to hookup so often repeated here.

 

 

You live in a world where everything you say is right, you refuse to admit other may have a point.

 

 

My advice here remains as valid as yours, perhaps instead of attacking my credibility you should actually give the OP some worthwhile advice instead of clichéd mumbo jumbo. Perhaps, just perhaps being in the same position as the OP allows me to sympathise with her and understand where she is coming from.

 

 

Your constant insinuations are becoming quite frankly boring and I sorry your fragile ego couldn't take me not bowing down to every piece of advice some self appointed nameless internet expert dishes out.

 

 

My apologies OP that Qboro decided to railroad your thread completely off topic to take a cheap shot at me.

 

 

My advice to your remains the same, find someone you see as a good friend and move from there, simply giving it away would be easy but for me if I am going to sleep with someone they need to be what I want and they need to make me feel special.

[circlesinfinity]

Do you date? How do you find the men you go out with? Do you have any close girl friends? See if they know anyone that they think you'd like and can introduce during a casual night out or get together. Get on OLD. Most people nowadays use that after college to socialize and date so there's plenty of suitable men on there that you can take your pick from.

 

I'd be careful about waiting for "the one" to lose your virginity to. What if you meet that person and have sex and then you realize how much you enjoy sex and how vital it can be to a healthy relationship. Then think about if that guy doesn't fit your new mindset once you've experienced sex. He no longer will be the one.

 

How can a guy be "the one" and be perfect for you, when you don't even know yet, what kind of physical relationship you want/need/are happy with for yourself yet? What if they guy you lose your virgihity to wants to have sex every day and you only enjoy it once or twice a week? What if it's the opposite and he only wants it once a week and therefore that leads to you thinking he's not attracted to you or desireable?

 

What if you lose it to a guy who wants you to do things that aren't the normal things couples do, yet you have no experience or wherewithal to know that you don't have to do those things and it's not common. There's so many unknowns about someone if you don't know their physical wants and preferences.

 

What if your first time is with someone who fails to make you orgasm? What if the only way you can orgasm is by oral sex and the guy you're with doesn't like to go down on you? Are you going to want to Marry someone and go through life without ever having an orgasm, or ever having your partner bring you to one?

 

Im not saying just give it away and sleep with the next guy who says hello to you. But seriously consider dropping this "waiting for the one" mentality. You have no knowledge about a large part of your physical self and what you like and need from a man you're dating in that regard. Explore and I bet you will find the long term relationship sooner then you would by continuing your celibate search.

 

I am very reserved so I do not have what I would call friends. I have met men online before and will never do this again. I want someone closer to home and that I can see often and I have chosen not to date anymore. This way I can be friends and have a naturally developing relationship.

 

 

 

I appreciate your reply but I am still going to wait it out for the right guy. It is quite apparent that sex is not exactly on the top of my list of criteria...

 

I honestly feel if we know about the other person's wants/needs then we are good to go.

 

The right guy would understand this...

Edited February 14, 2016 by circlesinfinity