In need some with new girl i met online

[mefisto]

So, i met this girl online, we went on date 2 weeks ago, it was very good. She laughed a lot, smiled, listened carefully, looked my in the eyes, shared with me some facts from her life, discussed with me some things that we both like and pretty much enjoyed our conversation. I guess i left good impression and she wrote to me after a date that "it was very interesting to meet me and she glad we got to know each other". So, after another week of slow-motion chatting, i arranged the second date for us, at Saturday, we will go to a zoo and then take a little walk. I decided to try and kiss her approximately in the middle of the date. Is it too soon? Im afraid that if she has romantic intentions, like i do, she would be disappointed if i wont try to kiss her, its the second date after all and not the first. I know a lot of people do it at the very end, but i think its wrong and puts too much pressure at the moment. Im the type of person who is very slow-thinker, so i want to plan everything that can go wrong in advance.

So, back to the kiss. Chances are high that she will reject it. As i said, it would be in the middle of date. How should i behave myself if she wont kiss me back? I see three ways:

1. Say something like "Sorry i misread the situation, lets continue walking" - middle level of awkwardness

2. Say something "I like you a lot, is it mutual? - high level of awkwardness

3. Say nothing at all and continue walking like nothing happened, in awkward silence and try to change the subject - very high level of awkwardness

Which way should i choose?

 

And i'd like to add additional info that worries me. How i met her online - she posted ad in public community that related to dating acquaintanceship. Many people there write very honestly, that they are looking for romantic dates. And there are people who write that they are looking for friends and friendship. This girl, however, wrote that "human needs another human" - its quote from old classic movie Solaris, that i love very much, i used it as a common ground between us. So its hard to tell if she looked for friend or lover in the first place. While we were chatting she wrote some things that indicated her as pretty lonely person, like 90% of her online friends are not her real friends and often she wrote something like "people need each other" and stuff. Few times our conversation involved dialogues about love and turned out she recently got out from long-term relationship, just like i did year ago. She didnt talk much about it, just mentioned it and i thought it means that she is free in that department. But when we were walking during the date she mentioned some "friend" she had a few times. I live in country when those terms are very certain and "friend" and "boyfriend" are very different terms. I got a little suspicious about it, she mentioned it like they are quite closed friends, she showed photo of them walking out her dog and even said that after our date, that she liked a lot, she went to meet this friend of hers. I dont know what to think, im the guy who doesnt really believe in inter-gender friendships, i have a theory that only 20% of those friendships are really friendships and not a relationships in disguise. I dont really want to get into relationship if i have some rival from the very first moment. But, at the other side, she called him a "friend" and not a boyfriend. I guess they knew each other for a long time and he got his chance to become boyfriend and somehow failed it and ended up in friendzone. Am i right about it?

I wish i could know her desires and intentions. Maybe i imagined that she liked me in romantic way, while in reality she just needs another friend? I dont know. In our online conversations she wrote some love-related stuff like "love is a great power that changes people", "everyone need somebody to love" and "people tend to isolate themselves from each other and supress their love and feeling, that came out when they meet a "right person". Maybe she tries to see me as this "right person" so she can forget about her ex? I dont mind being a rebound if honestly. I just want to try getting intimate with her and see how it works out for us. So, if you folks can give me some tips, it would be very appreciated.

[darkmoon]

chances are high she will reject, you say, so do not kiss, i think time will tell how this girl works out

 

my male friends are not attractive to me, if anything, they grow pissed over this realization and drop me

Edited April 30, 2015 by darkmoon

[mefisto]

chances are high she will reject, you say, so do not kiss, i think time will tell how this girl works out

I disagree since i see this attempt is only way to find out. If i wont do it, she will put me in friendzone, which is not my intention. I guess second date is perfect time to do it, there might be no third date if i wont try it.

[salparadise]

If you're on the same page as to it being a date as opposed to just hanging out, then definitely go for it. If she likes you and you've created the right atmosphere then she is unlikely to reject it. Create a tender moment, show a bit of vulnerability, then lean in slowly and deliberately. If she turns away let her be the one who has to break the awkward silence. Just hold your position and wait.

[mefisto]

If you're on the same page as to it being a date as opposed to just hanging out, then definitely go for it. If she likes you and you've created the right atmosphere then she is unlikely to reject it. Create a tender moment, show a bit of vulnerability, then lean in slowly and deliberately. If she turns away let her be the one who has to break the awkward silence. Just hold your position and wait.

Thanks for you advice. I followed it and it looks like i got the new girlfriend