Where do I find Alternative (In Terms of Self-Expression) Women?

[chaptmc]

Good afternoon everybody.

 

I am relatively new to these forums and I found these forums through Google. I am hoping that I can find answers without being judged or rejected for asking, as I have been trying to find answers for years regarding something. Would anybody happen to know (and be happily willing to share) where alternative women commonly socialize, and what I mean by alternative are the types general society today calls metalheads, punk, emo, goth, tomboyish, etc? I seem to keep hitting brick walls trying to find these types of women to develop friendship, and in time a potential relationship with.

 

Back in 2009, when I lived in Pennsylvania, I met an alternative woman, a short haired (Jet black in color) tattooed metalhead woman, who had the attributes I mentioned above. She was intelligent, nerdy, quirky, down to earth, and caring in nature, very family oriented, and absolutely loved cats. She liked the Red-Black color for her form of self-expression. She was into what is called 'Rockabilly' style and 'Two-Stepping'. Her and I became good friends, and during that friendship, I found out that she was terminally ill with lupus (lupus is a condition where the body's white blood cells attack the body itself, causing severe pain and damage) and that her father wasn't in her life with her family due to being physically and mentally abusive and walking out years ago on her, her brothers, and her mother. Her and I eventually ended up in a relationship after her ex-boyfriend 'accidentally' punched her while in a fist fight with my cousin and she broke off matters with him.

 

During the short time frame of a month and a half, I was very happy with her. Her and I spent time together, and our relationship was growing, but she wanted it to grow a bit faster than I did. She wanted me to make love to her, but it was something I wasn't ready for, and because back then I didn't know how to properly express my feelings, I kind of jammed up, and it hurt her. I also made the mistake of sharing her art without her consent. She wrote poetry, but kept it from people as it was a form of self-expression. She shared it with me, and in a way of defending her when people would say how bad of a person she was I spilled the beans on that, which hurt her too. She broke the relationship off with me, but initially we remained good friends.

 

She went back to her ex-boyfriend (The relationship didn't last long) and when that relationship failed, she broke off the friendship with him and a lot of his and my friends, stating that they were racist (And they were), which created jealously as her and I were still good friends. They hacked our e-mails. When they hacked hers, she gave me a warning to get away from them, and I was dumb not to listen. My e-mail ended up getting hacked next, and they used it to send her nasty messages, in which she broke off the friendship because I did not listen to her and it caused her such grief and stress that it caused a huge trigger with her lupus. I then broke off the friendship with these now ex-friends when that occured in 2010 and fought and managed to get back my digital accounts after giving logged e-mails, logged ip addresses, and saved messages to ic3.gov . It took me years to learn from my mistakes and admit them to my ex-girlfriend.

 

In the same respect, I started to study and learn more about relationships and how matters should work, such as for examples 'a guy cares about his accomplishments, while women want to be nutured in a fashion and when each can realize and meet each other's needs, it creates a strong relationship' and why 'Nice guys finish last, as part of the nuturing most women want is security and men who can stand up for themselves show security, even if it means they are a jerk, where as nice guys tend to be pushovers, and despite being nice doesn't fit the mold for that type of nurturing'. I started searching for alternative women I mentioned above to befriend to learn from and even maybe even in time create a relationship, but failed everytime.

 

The couple of times I found an alternative woman, they had a boyfriend, which I backed off immediately as I didn't want to feel as if I was stepping on people's toes even with friendship. Outside of that, in Pennsylvania, I just kept finding heavyset women with the 'princess' mentality (Basically they wanted respect and used the 'princess' aspect to try to get it, but wouldn't give it in turn and use the 'princess' aspect as an excuse not to do things) who didn't know how to respect boundaries and ignorant barflys who were lightning quick to judge, stating everything I did was 'weird' or 'retarded'. I asked guys for help and either they would redirect me to those two types I kept finding, saying I should get an easy lay (Which is ignorant and disrespectful, nor did I want to mask the problem of the matter), or would tell me I had to do so on my own. I have also tryed social sites like PlentyofFish, with no relative luck, as the few accounts alternative women had were either inactive or I would basically be ignored by the few that have active accounts.

 

After years of hitting brick walls with this (The area I lived in up in Pennsylvania didn't help much either), I just moved to Florida a month ago. I tryed PlentyofFish again to get the same results. Frankly, I don't understand why people would want to keep information from me that could help me meet women that I would be potentially compatible and happy with (Even on the level of simple friendship), instead redirecting me to the types that hurt me and made me uneasy. I don't personally feel I'm being greedy. I don't want sex or a 'display piece', I want female friends I can socialize with without being out right rejected for being artsy, nerdy, and a bird (primarily parrot) enthusiast, and I've only found women with similar qualities in the alternative types I've mentioned above, and if I were to be lucky to have such a friendship with somebody I could find turn into a relationship, an alternative woman that could be both a girlfriend and a best friend. I don't need or want somebody who is proficient at cooking, cleaning, or doing chores. Things like that get done when they get done, and it's a combined effort when it comes to relationships. Just somebody who can be themselves who share similar interests and can be loving when it comes to that level as well as patient. That's being honest and being human. This is why I am asking for help along these lines here on the forums, because I'm tired into running into deadends and undesirable results, and maybe somebody here will have the right information and be willing to share it.

 

Generally speaking I seem to have social problems. I am artsy and try sharing my artwork with people, but people don't seem to take interest in upcycling apparently. I've had years of problems with my parents that I recently resolved within the last several months, and now those issues are being relived by living with the liar that I call my aunt. I hope I can find answers from kind and understanding people here on these forums, so that I can find these types I mentioned above and have a bit more happiness in my life. Thank you for your time people, and hopefully I will hear something from a forum member soon. Have a nice day now.

Edited April 20, 2015 by chaptmc

[preraph]

This is rather obvious, but speaking as an alternative (old) woman myself, I always and mostly hung out at music venues. So go see your favorite local and national bands and there they'll be. People who are living a music lifestyle, that's usually their main focus.

[chaptmc]

This is rather obvious, but speaking as an alternative (old) woman myself, I always and mostly hung out at music venues. So go see your favorite local and national bands and there they'll be. People who are living a music lifestyle, that's usually their main focus.

 

Music Venues you say? I assume that would make some level of sense. I never thought to look at the situation on a musical level. Indeed I have learned from my mistakes and learned alot about relationships through analyzing and self-reflection, but this thought never really came to mind.

 

This wasn't obvious to me at all, so thank you for that information. I am also curious to hear other suggestions if any at all. I always thought of these types expressing themselves differently based upon the way they felt, but it is music driven.

 

Frankly I don't understand why when I lived in Pennsylvania people withheld this information from me and would direct me at exactly what I didn't want. So with that bit of information, I can do some more research and take a new route, and (Hopefully) not hit any more 'brick walls'.

[RedButton]

I see a lot of them milling about at conventions as well, things like Comic book and Sci-Fi conventions have a lot of alternative girls.

[preraph]

Goth go see goth and other bands; punk go see punk bands; metalheads go see metal bands. Can't help you with EMO. I think that's where your sci-fi and comicon conventions come in. But yes, a whole lot of alternative cultures are completely music-driven, but now the EMO and all that stuff isn't.

[chaptmc]

Well, I want to tyake the time to thank you both RedButton and Preraph. For all the analyzing and research I did, I can't believe I never came across any of this. I was doing all of that, so I could learn and give matters an honest effort (Not to say I didn't learn anything out of it as I did), but apparently that wasn't enough, so thank you both.

[sadsoymilk]

I'm an art student, and many of my fellow female students in the program are what could be considered "alternative women". Have you tried art festivals, workshops, artist meetups, or even just local "artsy" areas? Maybe sign up for a class or two? It seems you're interested in art as well, so you'd probably enjoy yourself along with meeting new people.