spanishchick00 Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 My first meetup isn't until next month, so...has anyone ever formed true friendships on there? For me, its almost like going on a blind date-meeting with a bunch of strangers, different personalities, also not knowing if you will click with them. In the past, I tried hard to push people for friendships, no matter what I did, how friendly I was, how welcoming I was, no matter how "interested" I sounded, they weren't interested in pursuing a friendship with me. And I made a heck of an effort. Since, then, I stopped trying to kiss everyones ass for their friendships. Meet up seems like my last hope. Link to post Share on other sites
shet Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Define friend. I've spent more time texting, calling and actually being around people from meetup in the last month than I have with friends from elsewhere. I've spent every December weekend so far and all the ones to come, as well as Xmas eve AND New Years eve, with one woman from meetup (don't even ask what's up with that but no we aren't dating). Today I participated in a mass winter solstice celebration with meetup friends, to which all my other friends were invited and all declined. At the same time, meetup friends are all too distant to casually invite round for pizza unlike my old local friends, and they're all too meetup activity focused to arrange, say, a board/card game day like I have with my college buddies about once a month where we eat like fat kings and set the world to rights. Without getting into a sophomoric discussion about what qualifies a friend, I would call a number of the people I know through meetup, friends. They contact me, I contact them, and we do stuff together - sometimes outside meetup. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Real friends, no. Great business contacts, absolutely! Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Sort of... not great close friends as yet but I definitely met a lot of nice people and had good conversations. I've had quite a few men who just want to date me but I am really there with the purpose of making friends. Depends which type of group you go to I guess. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
MsSmurf Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 I've found meetup better for casual friendships than deeper kinds of friendships. A number of the people are great, but there just isn't that closeness to be able to count on them if one of my parents was dying or I was laid off or something. That's ok because that kind of friendship takes much longer to develop and I'm also not sure that's what the majority of meetup users want anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Meetups are too casual for making deep friends. Everyone is there for an event or activity, mingle a little bit, and then they go back to their lives. It is challenging to make real friends, because the other person has to have the inclination to want to be friends. Many are just happy keeping it casual. Personally, I did make a handful of friends whom I am beyond superficially close with, but not too deep. Mostly because we are all busy with our respective lives. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Of course friends can be made.... even genuine. The disingenuous do tend to come with an agenda usually to holiday parties. ..they come out of the wood work hoping they meet their " soul mate" after a single evening out. If not, they run back in to their reclusive holes and return a year later. These types aren't interested in forming or nurturing anything special. They almost hold Meetups in the same category as online dating. My first meetup isn't until next month, so...has anyone ever formed true friendships on there? For me, its almost like going on a blind date-meeting with a bunch of strangers, different personalities, also not knowing if you will click with them. In the past, I tried hard to push people for friendships, no matter what I did, how friendly I was, how welcoming I was, no matter how "interested" I sounded, they weren't interested in pursuing a friendship with me. And I made a heck of an effort. Since, then, I stopped trying to kiss everyones ass for their friendships. Meet up seems like my last hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Gotram Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 I actually met a girl I now consider one of my best friends! Met each other about 8 years or so and then went on to chat with each other only for many, many years. It was actually great because sometimes it's easier to unload your emotional burden onto someone "strange". Anyway, a little over 2 years ago when I broke up with my then girlfriend we decided to meet up. And let me tell you, it was a blast! Met at 9pm or so and kept talking until 4am. We didn't notice how time flew like that (and nope, we weren't drunk). Before the meetup both of us were kind of scared if we would actually be able to tell each other anything because we already told us just about everything per Facebook or Whatsapp (or MSN in the beginning ) But it turned out great! We kept texting all the time, met up regularly, went clubbing with each other or simply happened to run into each other every now and then (never happened before). So yeah, for the past two years now she's been one of my best friends ever! But I can see how this is an exception. Like mentioned above, most of these new contacts are rather great business contacts. I also noticed that many people aren't really looking to make real friendships over there. And the more you force it, the more you push them away. If you really want to find a friend over there, get in touch with those who are alike, converse, exchange contact information and maybe hit them up some time and things will happen naturally. But forcing the issue won't do anyone any good. Link to post Share on other sites
missliss908 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I haven't met anyone I "clicked" with yet on Meetup. There's one group that I've been to several events with but I really feel like the "group leader" does not like me for one reason or another. I never did anything to her but not everyone is going to like you. Although I am friendly with a few other people from that particular group so I still go to events. My first experience ever with Meetup was when I joined a group without realizing that everyone was at least 10-15 years older than me and it was awkward and uncomfortable. I was 22 and had just finished college, had zero life experience, and nothing to talk about with anyone. I guess it's like online dating or anything else social, you have to keep trying until you find people you click with! Link to post Share on other sites
Author spanishchick00 Posted January 4, 2015 Author Share Posted January 4, 2015 I haven't met anyone I "clicked" with yet on Meetup. There's one group that I've been to several events with but I really feel like the "group leader" does not like me for one reason or another. I never did anything to her but not everyone is going to like you. Although I am friendly with a few other people from that particular group so I still go to events. My first experience ever with Meetup was when I joined a group without realizing that everyone was at least 10-15 years older than me and it was awkward and uncomfortable. I was 22 and had just finished college, had zero life experience, and nothing to talk about with anyone. I guess it's like online dating or anything else social, you have to keep trying until you find people you click with! Yeah, I agree with that-not everyone is going to me. Friendship is a 2 way street. Link to post Share on other sites
kaleidoscopic Posted January 4, 2015 Share Posted January 4, 2015 I met my boyfriend on meetup.com but have never made any real substantial friendships from it but I don't attend frequently enough. Link to post Share on other sites
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