SJC2008 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I know the title sounds elementary but it's not for the obvious reasons. Everywhere I turn someone is coupled up or married, now I get it! Link to post Share on other sites
kolleamm Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 You lost me, please explain. Link to post Share on other sites
Dontfindme Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Don't leave us hanging... Link to post Share on other sites
Natsu21 Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 This I gotta hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SJC2008 Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 Sorry about that. Since it seems like everyone's coupled up I think that people may settle with someone "tolerable" just to not be alone until someone better comes along. How else can we explain why it seems like nobody n is single? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 How else can we explain why it seems like nobody is single? 1. Because people buy into the lie that some other person is going to "complete" them. So they don't bother to become self-thinking, self-reliant or self-aware. BUT. Obviously it is just a lie or an illusion...so they move on to the next bit of "grass". And find that it does not complete them, either. Er. Well, okay. That's why lots of people get coupled in the first place...AND why some people seem to get hit by this "GIGS" harder than others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kolleamm Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 It's true I believe, some people just don't want to be alone so they will take the best person they can get even if that person doesn't peak their interest. Almost like buying a cat...hmm Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Sorry about that. Since it seems like everyone's coupled up I think that people may settle with someone "tolerable" just to not be alone until someone better comes along. How else can we explain why it seems like nobody n is single? Your logic doesn't compute. Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 It's true I believe, some people just don't want to be alone so they will take the best person they can get even if that person doesn't peak their interest. Almost like buying a cat...hmm When its at that level 'even if that person doesn't peak their interest' its wrong, but otherwise I don't think being in a relationship with someone you know is not your ideal (or very close to it) is a sin. Lots of people do it rather than be single I agree, and plenty tread water in that relationship. Some will monkey branch to someone else they fancy more when they get the first opportunity, and some will leave when they have built their confidence up and used you as a stepping stone and some will leave when the honeymoon period wears off and the low level of attraction fades and their partner's negative aspects start to become more annoying. To me there is nothing wrong with 'they will take the best person they can get' but its the desperate that will 'even if that person doesn't peak their interest'. Lots of people have high expectations and there are not enough 'great catches' to go around for everyone to have their ideal. Very desirable people have a lot of options and can be fussy on their wish list and get what they want. Other people could wait a number of years in between + a dose of luck before they come across a person they are gaga over who reciprocates their feelings. You can spend that time single or have fun with others in the meantime. You can still have a lot of good times & memories with a person you know wont be your forever after partner. Its easier to do when your young though, as many people will view a relationship that does not have 'forever after' objective as a waste of time after 30..unless its pitched as a fwb. I think a lot more people are open on 'not looking for anything serious' these days, but the your ability to find lots of takers for that, from a guy's perspective anyway, depends on how desirable you are. The guys with lots of LTR options also tend to have lots of upfront casual options too. I guess where it would really suck is if you struggled with dating for years and so met someone you thought was okay and got on well with them and thought you were probably not going to do much better, so you got married to them....then a little while later you stumble across your close to ideal man/woman who you also have great chemistry with and they would have dated you if only you were single. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SJC2008 Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 All good points Acendotum. Take a guy like me who does want marriage but doesn't think he'll meet a woman he's ultra compatible bith, and I date a woman and am honest that I don't know if I'll ever get married. Well, does that mean I'm using her for the time being or as a stepping stone? Sometimes I think my thought processes is a subconscious protection mechanism to keep myself single. I think these are good questions/points though. Link to post Share on other sites
kolleamm Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Sorry but can someone tell me what GIGS is? Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Sorry but can someone tell me what GIGS is? It's a made up syndrome. It translates to "Grass is Greener Syndrome". People here will brandish it about everytime a relationship ends and there wasn't any cheating or abuse involved. Because, clearly, you can't just be unhappy with the person you're having a relationship with, if there are no fights and no cheating. If that is the case, then you must settle for that person. Otherwise, people here will be shouting GIGS! And some will tell you you'll be alone forever. The point of the whole saying is that the grass ISN'T actually greener on the other side. But for most people who are labelled as having "GIGS", it turns out that it actually is. Which is why I object to it even being a thing... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 (edited) I think GIGs is not quite the right term in a lot of cases. For the guys I knew who girl hopped it was more a case of lust for fresh pussy than GIGs. With the women I knew it was more a case of new guy = new excitement and also trading up to extent too, which some people will consider the same as GIGs. It can be masked though as the people who do will definitely try to paint it differently rather than look like they abandoned a good person for someone that is a better catch. Its easy to say, we just fell out of love or to sabotage the relationship or to paint the negatives of the their ex much worse than they were. I've know a number of people who dumped their bf/gf when their life circumstances improved for the better. I would definitely have said they were a case of trading up rather than say they had GIGs because it was not a long term theme with them. They were now just being opportunistic to maximize their improved prospects. I always felt bad for their dumped ex. Lots of people also rush into relationships based on 'OMG amazing chemistry' rather than long term compatibility and when the honeymoon phase wears off they relevaluate. Also plenty love the honeymoon phase of a new relationship and are not mature enough yet to handle the day to day boring aspects of a committed relationship or feel they shouldn't have to compromise for the other person (they are selfish), so the relationship only ends up being a STR. Lots of cases like this could get labelled GIGs when they really aren't imo. I guess because women are more hypergamous in nature then guys and quite a few do the 'alpha fux beta bux' thing that there can seem to be on the lookout for 'the bigger better' theme. If their relationships tend be long term though then there is less case to argue they are being opportunistic and just finding their ideal partner. The 2 girls I was most crazy over I believed could have used me as place holders until they found someone better. I wouldn't use the term GIGs though. I guess because I felt like they were out of my league (and not their usual type) that it did not surprise me if they thought that too and didn't become an LTR. I got the 'this is just not working for me' line. One jumped in with another guy straight away and the other moved away and started dating casually (got told after though that she was cheating on me) I don't regret the relationships or the memories even though I had a broken heart. Edited October 23, 2014 by ascendotum 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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