sun5hine84 Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 Starting from the beginning, my friend lives two hours from me.... her neighbour/friend saw a pic of me on fb and liked me but i was in a relationship. That was a few months ago and since ive been single, he hasn't said anything, My friend mentioned me being single to him and he said that im nice but he wants to meet someone more local. (distance doesn't matter to me as i would move for love) Ive seen him a few times when ive been over to my friends and we have flirted slightly but nothing major. He saw me on tinder and swiped right. On saturday night my friend had friends over, two other couples... and me! So they invited 'him' over. We got on really well and flirted loads... I ended up going home with him and sleeping with him. The next morning he still seemed really in to me, cuddling and kissing... not trying it on again just being really lovely. He walked over to my friends with me and stayed there for a couple of hours. He then went home, got showered and everything and then came back over to my friends. He was really sweet to me, made me a cup of tea, jokingly called me princess and we all had a roast together. All the same couples are going away for the weekend (and me) and my friend invited 'him' he was very up for it and knows its all couples and me going. When i got back home, He was still on my tinder so i swiped right so that we matched. We didnt get each others numbers so i sent him a message on tinder saying ''wont get a better match than this ;-) #justsayin'' but i got no reply even though hes clearly been on there as he has changed his pic. Im absolutely gutted... does this mean hes not interested in me? I really do like him now and am hoping he replies but its been 24 hours now He wants a relationship as he has said in the past and isnt the kind of guy to sleep around. Please tell me if im over reacting? Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 May I ask how old you guys are......? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 14, 2014 Share Posted October 14, 2014 He doesn't like the geography. Just because you may be willing to move for love doesn't mean he is or that he wants you to. He knows how to get in touch with you. He has multiple ways of doing so. His choice not to, is his choice. He does not like you as much as you like him & doesn't want a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sun5hine84 Posted October 14, 2014 Author Share Posted October 14, 2014 Thank you for replies so far. I know for a fact that he does want a relationship...maybe just not with me! Im 30 and he is 40 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sun5hine84 Posted October 16, 2014 Author Share Posted October 16, 2014 Can anyone else give me some advice??.... Please x Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 I'm not really sure what you expected. You knew he wanted someone more local when you slept with him, but you did it anyway. When i got back home, He was still on my tinder so i swiped right so that we matched. We didnt get each others numbers so i sent him a message on tinder saying ''wont get a better match than this ;-) #justsayin'' but i got no reply even though hes clearly been on there as he has changed his pic. Im absolutely gutted... does this mean hes not interested in me? I really do like him now and am hoping he replies but its been 24 hours now He wants a relationship as he has said in the past and isnt the kind of guy to sleep around. Please tell me if im over reacting? He has been around you several times, spent the night with you, spent the entire following day with you...and never once asked for your phone number. That is not a good sign. Why? Because he was not concerned at all about communicating with you after you two parted ways. It didn't matter to him. His not responding to your message on Tinder (which I think you should not have sent) merely seals the deal. I'm sorry, but in my opinion he isn't interested in having a relationship with you. If you want a relationship, you should move on. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 Thank you for replies so far. I know for a fact that he does want a relationship...maybe just not with me! No, but sex was a good release and an ok substitute.... I personally think guys need a physical outlet more than women do (that's a general statement, I'm certain there are exceptions, but generally speaking it's accurate....) so having someone who was willing to have sex with him on a 'first' date, was the icing on the cake. He owes you nothing. Im 30 and he is 40 Well pardon me if I sound critical, but really, a woman of your age should know by now how to 'read' guys better. He gave you plenty of hints about not getting down and serious with you.... So why permit yourself to be used for sex in that way? Because that's really what he did.... Unless of course, you could say you used him in exactly the same way for the same reasons. In which case, a good time was had by all, and no harm done.... Can anyone else give me some advice??.... Please x He's 40. I personally doubt he's looking for a serious relationship. I think he wants a relationship in which he can have a no-strings-attached deal; someone independent, on whom he can rely, but who's not going to tie him down to legal commitment and step-parenthood.... And he IS the kind of guy who sleeps around. of course he is. he did it with you.... I think that if it had meant anything to him, he would have contacted you by now. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted October 16, 2014 Share Posted October 16, 2014 .... All the same couples are going away for the weekend (and me) and my friend invited 'him' he was very up for it and knows its all couples and me going. .... Drop off his radar. Do not attempt any further contact. If, on this weekend, he tries it on again, then I'd think very seriously about asking him what his 'game-plan' with you is, and how serious is this going to be? Because something here is beginning to smell like you're being had. If you'll excuse the pun. Link to post Share on other sites
notyouraveragebabe Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 OK, first Tinder is not a dating site, it is a hook up site. I know you don't want to hear this, but HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU". It's better to hear it than suffer. Men say what they want just to get in your pants. If he was mean to you would you have slept with him? No. Sorry, I know it sucks, but time to let go and don't go crazy trying to get a hold of him. He knows how to reach you and if he was interested he would call you. Rule of thumb don't sleep with anyone on the first date. I as well went through the same thing recently. Here's my thread. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/498034-sex-first-date Link to post Share on other sites
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