irc333 Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 This post had inspired was inspired by a woman who wanted to "get intel" on someone as to "Why haven't you been married yet?" prying questions. Those who are over 40, single, never been married, but would like to be married are assumed to not want to get married or even commit. Though some who have been divorced twice judge those who have never been married as flawed or assumed to be non-commital? Thought of as a player? These are the likely and highly assumed reasons, but there are other reasons that can be given. Perhaps the guy/gal hasn't met the right "one" yet. Or perhaps the person in question is always running into people that wouldn't date them due to shallow reasons? Believe it or not, I think most people are single for long periods of time are due in part of having unrealistic expectations and those that are STILL single and HAVE realistic expectations are in the minority. Just some theories on the reason, but for some reason the guy / gal is always assumed to be a player (likes to bounce from bed to bed and not commit). Can people entertain as other reasons for being never married other than the common frame of thought? Though, we have to account for those that remain single because they are attempting to FIND fault with people and finding reasons NOT to date them. So there is a bit of a collide or Catch 22 situation here. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 (edited) My celibacy makes it hard for guys to take me seriously when i date and say i am celibate....my friends dont even take me seriously they assume ill end up dating and breaking my vow........i need to fidn a guy whodoesnt judge me on past history or the fact i have children and understand why i am celibate..i am not commitment phobic in the slightest...but i am a woman between a rock and a hard place......i have children have an extensive history......but yet am celibate and have found my truth...so yeah i know i am going to find it difficult to date...i have refused dates because of my celibacy.....so it is not easy ....deb Edited September 19, 2014 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted September 19, 2014 Author Share Posted September 19, 2014 My celibacy makes it hard for guys to take me seriously when i date and say i am celibate....my friends dont even take me seriously they assume ill end up dating and breaking my vow........i need to fidn a guy whodoesnt judge me on past history or the fact i have children and understand why i am celibate..i am not commitment phobic in the slightest...but i am a woman between a rock and a hard place......i have children have an extensive history......but yet am celibate and have found my truth...so yeah i know i am going to find it difficult to date...i have refused dates because of my celibacy.....so it is not easy ....deb Good points...it's like you give them a reason, and they don't buy it and see you as undatable for the most common reason that society typically thinks. "Meh, you'll loose your virginity" , "Meh, there's something seriously wrong with that single person over 40, don't give me that crap about 'how I haven't met the right one'". Link to post Share on other sites
Author irc333 Posted September 19, 2014 Author Share Posted September 19, 2014 There also can be a comparison to those who don't drink that are judged by those who indulge in such vices. Apparently those who indulge tend to look down on those who don't. Mainly because they don't like themselves for indulging. I brings to them a disturbing awareness of their vice and being around a non-drinker is something they don't particularly care for. Link to post Share on other sites
WesternWizard Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 Or, maybe those of us in the over-40-never-married crowd simply don't want anything to do with playing a game that's rigged heavily against us for who we are. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 I was 39 when I got married for the 1st time; no kids. I was with somebody for a long time (12 years) but we had different views on marriage. In the beginning, I didn't want to get married at be tied down. I didn't view our exclusive relationship as being tied down because I had the freedom to get up & leave. When I wanted something more permanent I got the "it's just a piece of paper" speech. Eventually I got the courage to leave. Then it became a search for a good guy which took about 4 years. I spent my 20s & early 30s working on my career. I was OK with somebody who got divorced once. I would have had reservations with somebody who got divorced twice. I found the proverbial needle in a haystack. DH was also never married no kids. Link to post Share on other sites
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