My dating potential online is ridiculously hilarious

[kolleamm]

Seriously, I signed up for okcupid today and put up some decent pictures as well as a nice profile description to go along with it and the results were just wow.

 

I can not even get the ugliest troll on there even if my life depended on it. I messaged women WAYYYY below what I call average and still got nothing.

 

What in the world is going on here. I can with 100% confidence say that I can get women 30 times better in real life than I could online. The only reason I'm doing OLD is because I had this crazy idea in my head that I could somehow improve the odds of finding the right person there.

 

Seriously what is going on here...conspiracy theories perhaps? lol

[Eivuwan]

Seriously, I signed up for okcupid today and put up some decent pictures as well as a nice profile description to go along with it and the results were just wow.

 

I can not even get the ugliest troll on there even if my life depended on it. I messaged women WAYYYY below what I call average and still got nothing.

 

What in the world is going on here. I can with 100% confidence say that I can get women 30 times better in real life than I could online. The only reason I'm doing OLD is because I had this crazy idea in my head that I could somehow improve the odds of finding the right person there.

 

Seriously what is going on here...conspiracy theories perhaps? lol

 

It's only one day man. As a woman, I just get a bunch of "hi" messages on my first day.

[kolleamm]

That's just how OLD works. I had the same results, and so did every other guy I know of that used OLD. Here is my theory as to why it works this way...

 

 

 

Think about this a minute. So many guys end up doing what you do, and messaging women they aren't even interested in. Even the least desirable women have average looking guys and above messaging her. Why would those women ever talk to someone around her level?

 

Internet dating is a joke.

 

Thank you enigma I really needed to hear that, and you couldn't be more right.

[central]

Yes, initiating contact rarely works, it seems. The better catch you are, the worse it can be, because many women won't believe the photos or profile are real.

 

So, I just made a good profile, decent photos, and let the women make contact first. That worked very well for me, and only women who are truly interested and read the profile made contact. It can be a slow process, but it's usually a steady one. And you get to decide who to respond to!

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Something something confirmation bias...

 

 

..anyway, you get in what you put in my friend and right now all you're putting in is negativity. You're not invested and it shows, you might not think it does...but it's there.

 

You're messaging women you're not even attracted to - the ugliest trolls, I believe you called them (nice attitude there by the way). Call me crazy but I get the feeling that since you had zero interest in them, you probably weren't putting that much effort into reading their profiles or crafting heartfelt messages - and all for what? As an experiment? To prove to yourself that OLD is for suckers? That women hold all the cards? Okay....

 

I know plenty of guys who did well on OLD and they weren't models or rich sugar daddies...just regular working guys with average looks who had a decent personality on them and didn't carry a chip on their shoulders. Oh, and also some of them actually put effort into their messages and didn't send out a form letter to dozens of women just hoping someone would take the bait.

 

I mean jesus, from the way some guys talk you'd think no man was ever successful using OLD....yet somehow millions of them are getting dates with women every week.

 

It's your first day on OLD...what did you expect? Well I can guess, since you'd already made up your mind before you even opened the account.

[Disillusioned]

Seriously, I signed up for okcupid today and put up some decent pictures as well as a nice profile description to go along with it and the results were just wow.

 

I can not even get the ugliest troll on there even if my life depended on it. I messaged women WAYYYY below what I call average and still got nothing.

 

What in the world is going on here. I can with 100% confidence say that I can get women 30 times better in real life than I could online. The only reason I'm doing OLD is because I had this crazy idea in my head that I could somehow improve the odds of finding the right person there.

 

Seriously what is going on here...conspiracy theories perhaps? lol

 

Time for you to hit the meetup groups.

 

I've never been to San Pedro... but I live in West L.A., and I know San Pedro is no isolated hillbilly town. Surely there are a lot of singles & dating meetups in nearby Long Beach you can try.

 

Just watch out for Synergy... that group is 90% cougars.

[writergal]

OLD takes the fun out of dating. In person, if you see someone attractive you just approach them, ask them out, and you have a 50/50 chance that they'll say yes. Any venue. Any time. There's no waiting like there is with OLD.

 

Dating in general is a numbers game (but the odds in person are better). People forget that with dating in person you have everything you need; all the cues (facial, physical, verbal) and Mother Nature's eau de parfum - pheromones...that help us attract each other.

 

OP, stick with in-person dating. It's free, it's more fun, it's safer, and you know what you're getting b/c you can actually see and talk to the person face to face.

 

I get that OLD works for some people, but it didn't work for me when I tried it. Plus, after the ways that I've been manipulated and lied to by guys online, I'll stay with meeting guys in real life.

[kolleamm]

Time for you to hit the meetup groups.

 

I've never been to San Pedro... but I live in West L.A., and I know San Pedro is no isolated hillbilly town. Surely there are a lot of singles & dating meetups in nearby Long Beach you can try.

 

Just watch out for Synergy... that group is 90% cougars.

 

I have definetly been doing the meet up groups lately and I can say that it is way better than OLD by a long shot, especially the fitness clubs. Instead of searching for a date tonight I think I'm just going to search for a club instead.

[writergal]

I love Meetup groups too. Great way to meet friends and people to have a romantic relationship with. At least with Meetup, you know that anyone you meet in the group you join -- like a group that goes to see plays -- has that in common with you.

[kolleamm]

Something something confirmation bias...

 

 

..anyway, you get in what you put in my friend and right now all you're putting in is negativity. You're not invested and it shows, you might not think it does...but it's there.

 

You're messaging women you're not even attracted to - the ugliest trolls, I believe you called them (nice attitude there by the way). Call me crazy but I get the feeling that since you had zero interest in them, you probably weren't putting that much effort into reading their profiles or crafting heartfelt messages - and all for what? As an experiment? To prove to yourself that OLD is for suckers? That women hold all the cards? Okay....

 

I know plenty of guys who did well on OLD and they weren't models or rich sugar daddies...just regular working guys with average looks who had a decent personality on them and didn't carry a chip on their shoulders. Oh, and also some of them actually put effort into their messages and didn't send out a form letter to dozens of women just hoping someone would take the bait.

 

I mean jesus, from the way some guys talk you'd think no man was ever successful using OLD....yet somehow millions of them are getting dates with women every week.

 

It's your first day on OLD...what did you expect? Well I can guess, since you'd already made up your mind before you even opened the account.

Writing a custom message for every person is easier said than done. Of course you're probably just one of those people expecting perfection from your full inbox. What's wrong with just saying hello and sharing your interests from there? You make it sound as if the majority of people each hold a dark secret we must know about before hand. If so then I sure am glad they didn't message me back.

[Disillusioned]

Mother Nature's eau de parfum - pheromones...that help us attract each other.

 

LOL---I'll have to buy some pheromones and try them! Oh sure, I'll be fat, picky, and socially awkward, but I'll be irresistible!!!

[Eivuwan]

Writing a custom message for every person is easier said than done. Of course you're probably just one of those people expecting perfection from your full inbox. What's wrong with just saying hello and sharing your interests from there? You make it sound as if the majority of people each hold a dark secret we must know about before hand. If so then I sure am glad they didn't message me back.

 

If all you did was say hello, then I don't blame them for not responding. For all they know, they figure you didn't even look at their profiles.

[writergal]

LOL---I'll have to buy some pheromones and try them! Oh sure, I'll be fat, picky, and socially awkward, but I'll be irresistible!!!

 

What...your (pheromones) supply is empty? I hear CVS or Walgreens sells them, same with QVC.

[writergal]

Ha, ha! Well, technically humans do emit sex signals aka human pheromones naturally. Otherwise, how do you explain sexual attraction? That's what I meant by Mother Nature's eau de parfum.

[Lernaean_Hydra]

Writing a custom message for every person is easier said than done. Of course you're probably just one of those people expecting perfection from your full inbox. What's wrong with just saying hello and sharing your interests from there?

 

Because a thousand other guys 'just say hello' and half the time they're not even interested, they just figure sending out a 'blast' will get them more views/replies; most times their messages got skipped.

 

Oh, and whenever I did reply it was nearly always the same crap, bad conversation, lots of one word answers and other awkwardness. If a guy can't even start a conversation beyond very basic one word messages chances are he can't carry one IME.

 

I never expected perfection but a little effort was always appreciated.

[Disillusioned]

Ha, ha! Well, technically humans do emit sex signals aka human pheromones naturally. Otherwise, how do you explain sexual attraction? That's what I meant by Mother Nature's eau de parfum.

 

Well, I was just reading some wiki entry titled "fertility and intelligence", and scientific gobbledygook aside, I'm still pretty convinced stupid people are hornier. Also, women tend to find it cute when a man or a kid is missing a microchip.

 

Maybe teaching myself to act like Homer Simpson is the ticket.

[kolleamm]

Because a thousand other guys 'just say hello' and half the time they're not even interested, they just figure sending out a 'blast' will get them more views/replies; most times their messages got skipped.

 

Oh, and whenever I did reply it was nearly always the same crap, bad conversation, lots of one word answers and other awkwardness. If a guy can't even start a conversation beyond very basic one word messages chances are he can't carry one IME.

 

I never expected perfection but a little effort was always appreciated.

Ok I see where you are coming from on the plain messages from guys and it makes sense. The sad thing is, it just makes it that much harder for the genuine guys out there. Looks like it's back to real world dating for me, even though I'd admire anyone who would have the patience for OLD.

[somedude81]

OLD for guys is all about how good you look in your pictures. Practically nothing else matters.

 

In person women are far less judgemental about looks. Most importantly how attractive you are in person is a combination of many different characteristics.

[ascendotum]

OLD for guys is all about how good you look in your pictures. Practically nothing else matters.

 

In person women are far less judgemental about looks. Most importantly how attractive you are in person is a combination of many different characteristics.

 

I think that's a little extreme SD, but somewhat true. A couple of my female friends who seemed to have a great time with OLD though getting their guys to stick around for longer than 3 mths was hard, used a 2 phase filter to pick the guys to date. Since they were overloaded with guys wanting to meet them. First filter was to pick out the 4-5 guys to focus on based strictly on how attractive their photo was and flick the rest. Second filter was to look at their attributes, career, interests, attitude to life, then pick the 1 or 2 most appropriate and try land a date with them. It would not surprise me if a lot of women did something like this. Such a methodology means there is a tendency to pick the hotter guys, but its not exclusively based on that. I guess you could say looks gets your foot in the door.

The lower you drop your standards the better the chance msg recipients will let your foot in the door....but that strategy sucks imo.

[kolleamm]

I think that's a little extreme SD, but somewhat true. A couple of my female friends who seemed to have a great time with OLD though getting their guys to stick around for longer than 3 mths was hard, used a 2 phase filter to pick the guys to date. Since they were overloaded with guys wanting to meet them. First filter was to pick out the 4-5 guys to focus on based strictly on how attractive their photo was and flick the rest. Second filter was to look at their attributes, career, interests, attitude to life, then pick the 1 or 2 most appropriate and try land a date with them. It would not surprise me if a lot of women did something like this. Such a methodology means there is a tendency to pick the hotter guys, but its not exclusively based on that. I guess you could say looks gets your foot in the door.

The lower you drop your standards the better the chance msg recipients will let your foot in the door....but that strategy sucks imo.

I swear if real life dating turns into this I'm so done. I can only lower my standards so much before I'd rather be by myself instead. Sucks to see women consider us being so expendable and dime dozen. Gee congratulations you passed the elimination round. I feel sick to my stomach.

[guest569]

Seriously, why are you trying to chat with women who you think are ugly and beneath you? That's a little desperate and sounds a tad arrogant too. I had success with online dating in the past but for a while there wasn't getting anywhere, so I understand the frustration. But after 1 day that is incredibly impatient.

[somedude81]

I think that's a little extreme SD, but somewhat true. A couple of my female friends who seemed to have a great time with OLD though getting their guys to stick around for longer than 3 mths was hard, used a 2 phase filter to pick the guys to date. Since they were overloaded with guys wanting to meet them. First filter was to pick out the 4-5 guys to focus on based strictly on how attractive their photo was and flick the rest. Second filter was to look at their attributes, career, interests, attitude to life, then pick the 1 or 2 most appropriate and try land a date with them. It would not surprise me if a lot of women did something like this. Such a methodology means there is a tendency to pick the hotter guys, but its not exclusively based on that. I guess you could say looks gets your foot in the door.

The lower you drop your standards the better the chance msg recipients will let your foot in the door....but that strategy sucks imo.

 

Yup, the bold is exactly what I meant.

 

The first round is all about looks. If a guy doesn't look good enough in his picture, he's completely out of the running. This doesn't happen in real life.

 

OLD really is nothing more than a catalogue of men for women to browse through. Sure men can message woman, but honestly, it might as well just be spam to them.

[guest569]

Yup, the bold is exactly what I meant.

 

The first round is all about looks. If a guy doesn't look good enough in his picture, he's completely out of the running. This doesn't happen in real life.

 

Uh, yes it does. This is exactly the first round in real life and online dating. The very first impression is usually the appearance.

[irc333]

 

 

Think about this a minute. So many guys end up doing what you do, and messaging women they aren't even interested in. Even the least desirable women have average looking guys and above messaging her. Why would those women ever talk to someone around her level?

 

Internet dating is a joke.

 

Not to sound too crass here, but basically its the sex organ that the woman can provide to these ONLINE men as opposed to the woman surrounding sex organ that appeals to them.

[irc333]

Yup, the bold is exactly what I meant.

 

The first round is all about looks. If a guy doesn't look good enough in his picture, he's completely out of the running. This doesn't happen in real life.

 

 

 

Exactly, that's why with my last g/f I met her face to face at a Meetup. It all happened the old-fashioned way and a woman is basically a "captured audience", there's no "delete" key or anything and she is there to see your voie mannerisms, sense of humor, tones, body language, the way you present yourself.

 

None of that is online.

 

I knew of a story of a man who had emailed a local woman online, of course never got a response...saw her out and about at a public event. He approached her, they talked, had a good time, he got her #..they dated for a good while.

 

During the course of their dating, he revealed to her that he had emailed her on POF and she was like "Holy crap, if I knew who you were THEN, I would have responded!!"