Why would a girl rather be single?

[somedude81]

Ugh, I don't understand women.

 

Why would a girl rather be single than to be with a guy who likes them. If she thinks the guy is at least cute, fun and knows he has common interests; why reject him just because she doesn't have romantic feelings right at that moment?

 

If a girl who was decent looking but I didn't have any feelings for, expressed an interest in me I would absolutely give her a shot. I think most guys would.

[EricaH329]

Everyone has their own reasons as to why they want to be single, or why they want to be in a relationship. I don't believe it's only girls that would pass on the opportunity to date someone, if they enjoy being single.

[somedude81]

BTW when I say single, I don't mean the opposite is being in a relationship.

 

Or why would a girl rather not date at all?

[EricaH329]

BTW when I say single, I don't mean the opposite is being in a relationship.

 

Or why would a girl rather not date at all?

 

I can only say this from my experience, but right now I do not want to date. I don't care to. I'm perfectly happy focusing on myself. Doing whatever I want to do, not worrying about what someone else might think or say. I'm always up for meeting new people and hanging out as friends, but anything more than that is just more than I am willing to give right now.

 

So that's one reason

[ADF]

Actually, I once had a conversation with an ex-GF of mine about this, and she had some pretty interesting insights. For one thing, women often have larger and more supportive friendship networks than men do, and are thus less dependent on romantic partners to fill their companionship needs. Also, women aren't as horrified as men by the prospect of occasional sexual dry spells. Frankly, OP, you post has a subtle subtext of sexual frustration to it. Or so it seems to me.

[Ilovecake]

I think women just look for different things than guys do so it's hard for you to understand because you're looking from the male point of view. Women, or at least the ones I've talked to as well as myself, need that certain spark or magnetism. It's not just about looks or whether you're a fun guy. Girls connect on a deeper intuitive level where men are more visual and external. I don't know if it's pheromones or what but we're just pickier.

[norajane]

Because without the romantic feelings, she'd be leading you on and potentially causing the guy to have more and more feelings for her...and that's not a kind thing to do to someone.

 

And without the romantic feelings, she would feel uncomfortable when he wants to hold her hand or kiss her or whatever. Even if he didn't do those things, he'd still be looking at her with puppy dog eyes, and that's not a comfortable place to be if she doesn't feel it for the guy.

 

And by being with this guy she doesn't have feelings for, she'd be potentially passing up meeting a guy she could have feelings for.

[somedude81]

I'm perfectly happy focusing on myself. Doing whatever I want to do, not worrying about what someone else might think or say.

LOL that doesn't make any sense at all. Thanks for your reason though. I take it you are also against casual sex too.

 

Ugh so complicated.

 

Actually, I once had a conversation with an ex-GF of mine about this, and she had some pretty interesting insights. For one thing, women often have larger and more supportive friendship networks than men do, and are thus less dependent on romantic partners to fill their companionship needs. Also, women aren't as horrified as men by the prospect of occasional sexual dry spells. Frankly, OP, you post has a subtle subtext of sexual frustration to it. Or so it seems to me.

Hmm, so women don't need the companionship that a romantic partner would bring.

 

And going without sex is not a big deal.

 

Both interesting points.

 

BTW I doubt there is a man alive who is more sexually frustrated than I.

 

Women, or at least the ones I've talked to as well as myself, need that certain spark or magnetism. It's not just about looks or whether you're a fun guy. Girls connect on a deeper intuitive level where men are more visual and external. I don't know if it's pheromones or what but we're just pickier.

Hmm, so if that spark isn't there then the guy turns her off or something? The connecting deeper and intuitive sounds like friendship but that doesn't explain not wanting sex.

[EricaH329]

LOL that doesn't make any sense at all. Thanks for your reason though. I take it you are also against casual sex too.

 

Ugh so complicated.

 

Why doesn't it make any sense? It makes perfect sense to me. And as far as sex goes, I don't feel the need for it right now. If I do, I won't sleep with someone I don't know.

 

It's really not as complicated as you are making it out to be. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own reasons for things.

[somedude81]

Because without the romantic feelings, she'd be leading you on and potentially causing the guy to have more and more feelings for her...and that's not a kind thing to do to someone.

 

And without the romantic feelings, she would feel uncomfortable when he wants to hold her hand or kiss her or whatever. Even if he didn't do those things, he'd still be looking at her with puppy dog eyes, and that's not a comfortable place to be if she doesn't feel it for the guy.

 

And by being with this guy she doesn't have feelings for, she'd be potentially passing up meeting a guy she could have feelings for.

Ah, another interesting point.

 

So how do romantic feelings develop? Do they happen before or after you start dating/have sex?

 

The last point of potentially passing a guy is not valid because it's always possible to dump the guy you're with or just cheat on him.

 

I just asked the girl who was the reason I made this thread, why she wants to stay single and she only said, "that it's too personal I'm not going to tell you, sorry"

 

Ugh Women! Make my brain hurt.

[fiat500]

well i want to be comfortable with being alone before getting into a relationship. I don't want to totally rely on a guy to be there for me always, to comfort me, to hold me, etc.. because it just gets to be too much after a while. And this is from experience. If a girl relies on a guy ALL the time and he happens to part ways with her, then it would really suck at first.

 

Basically, I don't want to be clingy.

[stillafool]

Ugh, I don't understand women.

 

Why would a girl rather be single than to be with a guy who likes them. If she thinks the guy is at least cute, fun and knows he has common interests; why reject him just because she doesn't have romantic feelings right at that moment?

 

If a girl who was decent looking but I didn't have any feelings for, expressed an interest in me I would absolutely give her a shot. I think most guys would.

 

 

Not really. I think most people have to feel a sexual connection to want to be in a relationship with someone. If the sexual chemistry isn't there (meaning I can't wait to jump your bones) then why bother. Also just because a person is goodlooking doesn't mean you will have that type of connection with them.

[stillafool]

LOL that doesn't make any sense at all. Thanks for your reason though. I take it you are also against casual sex too.

 

What about not wanting to be involved with someone (at this time in her life) seems strange to you? Not everyone wants to date.

 

 

 

Hmm, so women don't need the companionship that a romantic partner would bring.

 

Sure that would be lovely, but it has to be with someone we feel romantic towards.

 

And going without sex is not a big deal.

 

Who said these women are going with sex? Just not a relationship. Women always have someone they can call.

Both interesting points.

 

BTW I doubt there is a man alive who is more sexually frustrated than I.

 

Why? There are tons of women out there. If the one you want doesn't want to date you then move on to others.

 

Hmm, so if that spark isn't there then the guy turns her off or something?

 

Not saying you turn them off but you don't turn them on sexually. This is where you will be friends and not lovers.

 

 

The connecting deeper and intuitive sounds like friendship but that doesn't explain not wanting sex.

 

Again, just because a girl doesn't want sex with one guy doesn't mean she doesn't want sex.

[alphamale]

If she thinks the guy is at least cute, fun and knows he has common interests; why reject him just because she doesn't have romantic feelings right at that moment?

because women look at life based upon "feelings" and "emotions"

[Peaceful Guy]

Everyone has their own reasons as to why they want to be single, or why they want to be in a relationship. I don't believe it's only girls that would pass on the opportunity to date someone, if they enjoy being single.

 

yah! i agree!

[somedude81]

Shes obversely isn't into you on any level and just doesn't want to hurt your feelings by being blatantly honest!.

I'd prefer her to be blatantly honest so I could know what I need to work on. She's the third girl in a row who was single and still rejected me and I can't figure out what is going on.

 

This thread reeks of desperation...

Being single forever will do that to a guy...

[Peaceful Guy]

I'd prefer her to be blatantly honest so I could know what I need to work on. She's the third girl in a row who was single and still rejected me and I can't figure out what is going on.

 

how close in a row? did ya'll date and she didn't want something more serious, or did you ask three girls out recently and they said no. or were you friends first with these girls and then asked them to be in a romantic relationship. i can relate to all of these, im curious specifically what the deal is.

[Ross PK]

Because most women have so many options.

 

Why go for a guy that they think is a least a bit cute when they can easily get one who they find really attractive and who is an alpha male?

[O'Malley]

I'd prefer her to be blatantly honest so I could know what I need to work on.

 

Read Norajane's post again.

 

Dating is a numbers game. You're going to get rejected more often than not, but the trick is to not be so focused on finding someone. Are you always blatantly honest with people whose feelings you don't want to hurt, or even with individuals that you are mostly indifferent to?

 

Chemistry is subjective. Obviously there is little to none on her side, and asking her to explain her reasons for turning you down or attempting to make your self over to fit into what she finds desirable actually makes you less, not more appealing.

[stace79]

BTW when I say single, I don't mean the opposite is being in a relationship.

 

Or why would a girl rather not date at all?

 

1. Because dating is stressful and takes time/effort. Maybe she is busy with work or has a lot of interests that take her time and effort.

 

2. She just got out of a relationship and wants to give herself time to heal.

 

3. Maybe she IS dating and just doesn't want to date YOU specifically. I have told a guy I wasn't interested in dating anyone at the time, when I really wasn't interested in HIM.

 

Last, who are you to question anybody else's motives? She doesn't want to date you, so you should get over it and move on to the next person. The be-all, end-all of life isn't necessarily finding a relationship.

[somedude81]

My experience with women is terrible for reasons I cannot understand. Besides being a 5'6 white guy I don't think there is anything wrong with me. Because of my constant failures, I never achieved any sexual confidence so I don't know the correct way to talk to a girl to make her want me.

 

I only pursue girls that I feel some kind of connection with, usually a crush on my part. From when I was 13 to my current age of 28, I've tried to go after about 17 to 19 girls and they've all rejected me.

 

One would think that after 15 years of trying to get a girl I would eventually get a bite, but it has never happened.

 

how close in a row? did ya'll date and she didn't want something more serious, or did you ask three girls out recently and they said no. or were you friends first with these girls and then asked them to be in a romantic relationship. i can relate to all of these, im curious specifically what the deal is.

Last year it was two girls that I was friends with and they didn't want to go beyond that. It took a whole year to find the next girl. I had only hung out with her a couple of times and when I went for a date, she decided to bring a guy friend, and show me the friend card a day later.

 

Why go for a guy that they think is a least a bit cute when they can easily get one who they find really attractive and who is an alpha male?

But they aren't with the alpha male, their single, as in not doing anybody.

 

asking her to explain her reasons for turning you down or attempting to make your self over to fit into what she finds desirable actually makes you less, not more appealing.

I've already crossed her of my list. I want to find out how I can improve myself so the NEXT girl won't turn me down for the SAME reason.

[Peaceful Guy]

Last year it was two girls that I was friends with and they didn't want to go beyond that.

 

okay.

 

I had only hung out with her a couple of times and when I went for a date, she decided to bring a guy friend, and show me the friend card a day later.

 

so, you asked her on a date and she said yes, but then brought a guy along? where or what did you invite her to do?

[stillafool]

What do these girls look like? Are they extremley goodlooking? If so that may be the problem. Try average/below girls who are short in height.

[somedude81]

Peaceful Guy, read over the other thread I have to find out about the situation with that girl.

 

stillafool, I haven't chased a very good looking girl in a long time. They were just good looking enough to get me interested. More plain then ugly or fat.

[Peaceful Guy]

Peaceful Guy, read over the other thread I have to find out about the situation with that girl.

 

oh, i did read over that thread.

 

its all attitude at this point man.. one way = bitter and unsuccessful.. the other way = happily crusin' to more happiness..