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Invite of certain people at our wedding..nasty situation


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Old 1st June 2006, 11:31 AM   #1
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Invite of certain people at our wedding..nasty situation

OK...So my fiance is BEST friends with is ex-girlfriend....ok..I'm fine with that. We hang out...but we have this silen fued...moslty b/c i judt don't like her (not b/c she's his ex, shes just a nasty person)
So they went out for 6 years. I guess you get close to someones family in 6 years.
She's coming to our wedding....
He asked me if her parents and sister can come. Without me thinking..I said yes. Later on I thought about it and felt a little uncomortable. He called her and told her to disinvite her parents. She hasn't talked to him or answered his phone calls since he told her three weeks ago. Its getting close and he called her yesterday to see if she was still coming. She is...but she didn;t tell he parents yet that thier not invited anymore. Now her mom bought us a gift.. she bought a dress, and shes very excited to come to the wedding.
WHAT DO I DO???? THe thing is...they don't see a problem with it...its just that they have history and I think HER parents shouldn't be at MY wedding. But we already invited them.
Also. I;m not sure if it would mak me uncomfortable with them there. I assume it would. But then again, te wedding will be so hectic that I won't even remember that their there.
Should I tell her to tell her parents not to come or leave it alone and have them come? Remember...they already think their cming as of now. What would you guys do? Also....my Fiance tod me once i meet her mom..I;ll love her..she the exact opposite of his ex..friendly, bubbly, nice.
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Old 1st June 2006, 11:38 AM   #2
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You already invite them , so leave it alone and let them come.
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Old 1st June 2006, 11:44 AM   #3
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from what I remember of the weddings I've been to, the poor bride and groom barely have time to say, "Hello" and "thank you for coming" because it's all such a whirlwind. As hard as it is to think of HER family being present at your wedding, it'd be even harder to retract the invitation. Chances are, her folks are decent people – heck, if her mom is excited about him marrying you, then she MUST be a nice person – and your worries are for naught.

I say just leave things be – as hard as it is to think about it this way, you've got other things screaming for your attention now, and this woman sounds like she's got your best wishes and happiness in mind. Besides, wouldn't it be funny if the ex was a complete jerk as usual, but her family was completely opposite?
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Old 1st June 2006, 11:48 AM   #4
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I understand how you feel.. but you can't uninvite someone that you already invited.
That would be just plain rude.
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Old 1st June 2006, 11:56 AM   #5
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But it's my wedding day and I want it to be perfect..although I'm not even sure it would bother me that they would be there.
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Old 1st June 2006, 12:34 PM   #6
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Because it's your wedding day that doesn't give your the right to be rude..

It does give your the right to who you invite..
but your already invited them
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Old 1st June 2006, 12:37 PM   #7
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uninviting people is tacky and childish.

Suck it up you already invited them.
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Old 1st June 2006, 12:39 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hotgurl
uninviting people is tacky and childish.
I agree...if you **** up then you must pay the price.
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Old 1st June 2006, 12:52 PM   #9
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ok..SO if my big day is ruined..its ok as long as I'm not being rude and childish?
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Old 1st June 2006, 12:57 PM   #10
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Yeah it is your wedding but you did give the OK to invite them.

Also it will only be ruined if you let it. So they are there. You are going to be so busy you probably won't even notice them. You might have to talk to them for maybe all of 5 mintues for them to wish you luck and happiness in your new marriage.

If she is excited she sounds like a decent person. If you think of them as just more well wisher and not the exes parent you day will not be ruined.
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Old 1st June 2006, 12:57 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue
ok..SO if my big day is ruined..its ok as long as I'm not being rude and childish?

Oh god - stop acting like a typical spoiled bride! Your day will not be ruined... act in a classy manner to these folks and the day will be totally fun! Nobody says you need to have them over every week for dinner, this is just ONE day.

You have the power to make it fun for yourself and overlook your feelings about this for one day.

Put them at a table far away from yours....
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Old 1st June 2006, 1:02 PM   #12
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I don't think it's about being spoiled....that day should be perfect. and I think that's the only time it's allowed to be spoiled..on the happiest day of your life.
I told him to leave it alone..let them come...Like you said hotgurl, it will bother me if I let it. And I won't let it.
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Old 1st June 2006, 1:28 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IhavenoFREAKINclue
I don't think it's about being spoiled....that day should be perfect. and I think that's the only time it's allowed to be spoiled..on the happiest day of your life.
I told him to leave it alone..let them come...Like you said hotgurl, it will bother me if I let it. And I won't let it.
this is a good attitude to have because eventhough you want everything to be perfect and have spent loads of time planning your wedding to make sure it is perfect. Something will go wrong, usually something small but it seems that at these events something always comes up that you didn't plan for.

and deciding to enjoy the day and not sweat the small stuff will make your wedding day all that much happier for you two.
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Old 1st June 2006, 1:41 PM   #14
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It seems a little hypocritical to demand that the day be perfect when it was your mistake that got you into this bind in the first place. Live and learn.
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Old 1st June 2006, 4:12 PM   #15
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I agree with you that it's awkward that he invited them, but you did say yes. I think it would be worse and make more of a scene if you uninvite them because you're going to seem like a selfish, unreasonable bitch, even if you're really not being that way. That will be everyone's perception and your day will have an unpleasant tinge to it from that. You're going to be so busy, I bet you'll be amazed at how much it won't matter to you. You're being the bigger, better person by letting them come. It will be fine.
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