Zoesma Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Last night my fiancé received a message on his phone and I happened to be standing next to him. He said it was a girl who used to be his waitress at Hooters and he had messaged her last week to tell her he was coming in. He said it was completely innocent and didn't see what the big deal was. I asked him to see the message he sent her and he said he deleted it because he didn't want me just seeing that he messaged a girl and then I would overreact. In my opinion you would only delete it if you knew it wasn't innocent. I've caught him in the past messaging girls, not anything sexual but definitely some flirting. We are engaged to be married but I don't feel good enough. Is he just seeking attention? Please help! Am I wrong for being mad?? Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 We are engaged to be married but I don't feel good enough. It's pretty sketchy, and worth being angry about, but I'm thinking you have other reasons to have doubts about getting married. Am I right? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Wow, who messages their waitress before they go to eat? How does one even know who their waitress is going to be before they arrive at the eatery? Your bf is full of it and I expect you know this by now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Agree with other posters. As for this: Is he just seeking attention? Please help! Am I wrong for being mad?? Even if he were "just seeking attention," think about it. Why would a married or engaged man be seeking attention from a single woman that's not his wife/fiancee. Can you think of a single good reason for seeking attention...from a Hooters waitress? Marry him, and you can gird yourself for all types of nonsense (and STIs). Be thankful he started showing you his true colors BEFORE you committed to a lifetime with him. That's why we have engagement periods. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 How did he wind up with a waitress's number in the first place? You're right to be upset. This doesn't sound good. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoesma Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 They've been FB friends for years. He used to go in every week with his coworkers for years before we even started dating. He is a very friendly and outgoing person- he talks to everyone, so he saw this as being harmless. Still makes me feel crappy though Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 (edited) I think you're in deep denial. I'm a friendly, outgoing person too. Even at restaurants where I know the wait staff by name, know their life stories, etc., there has NEVER been a need to get their phone number. Edited August 30, 2016 by angel.eyes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted August 30, 2016 Share Posted August 30, 2016 Actually I think you're underreacting. Secret messages to other women = big, big trouble in my book. I think it's time for a massive sit down conversation with this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zoesma Posted August 30, 2016 Author Share Posted August 30, 2016 I should clarify- he didn't get her phone #. They friended eachother over 5 years ago on fb and he messaged her on there. He swears it was 100% innocent but of course has no way to prove it to me now. Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted August 31, 2016 Share Posted August 31, 2016 I should clarify- he didn't get her phone #. They friended eachother over 5 years ago on fb and he messaged her on there. He swears it was 100% innocent but of course has no way to prove it to me now. You clarified that already. Doesn't matter when he got her info..he's still acting shady and keeping secrets. Anything you have to keep from your significant other is not ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 He swears it was 100% innocent but of course has no way to prove it to me now. Because he deleted it - to protect you, right? Those that have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Unfortunately in your case, the reverse is also true ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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