JBird2001 Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 I want to propose to my girlfriend of 7 years. We’ve lived together for the last 5 years with her two kids. We’ve had a stable home and I helped the kids through high school rites of passage such as getting driver’s licenses, etc. Now the 20-year old son lives at his cousin’s house most of the time and the 19-year old daughter lives at home and is 8 months pregnant. She had left home for a promising college education but her circumstances brought her back home, along with her boyfriend. They don’t have any plans for marriage as far as I can see, but that’s a separate story. We’ve also had problems over the past year, but we seem to have resolved them and we’re still together. Just want to know if the timing is right? I want her to know that I want to commit to her for the rest of my life, and I feel now is a good time before we become “grandparents”. Also, should I propose with an engagement ring? I had planned on buying a $250 1/6 carat diamond ring as a symbol of my commitment, knowing that she would want to exchange it for one she loves better (which is OK with me), or one that is sized better for her finger (I am using one of her existing rings that she wears on that right-hand finger as a guide). Ring? Or no ring? And, I planned on proposing to her in the evening in our king-sized bed, which we lounge around in the evening and is the most relaxed, familiar area of our house and of which I believe we both associate with home and togetherness. Better than doing it in a restaurant, or an exotic location, or making a huge spectacle of it? After being with her all this time, the simple way seems to be the best way. Thanks in advance for your suggestions and comments! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 20, 2014 Share Posted October 20, 2014 It doesn't matter what we think. It matters what she thinks. I loved my fancy public formal proposal from DH but it may have sent other people diving under the table. If it is your intent to buy her an e-ring that she loves & helps to pick out; you're only looking for a symbol for the actual proposal. Get something cheesy or skip it altogether & make sure you say you expect her to go pick something out. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted October 21, 2014 Share Posted October 21, 2014 Just want to know if the timing is right? I'm just some idiot on an internet forum, but no, I don't think the timing is right for you two. Just a few months ago, you were planning on leaving her, and although you feel you've resolved those problems, you're currently right in the midst of another potentially big problem, which is her pregnant daughter and her boyfriend living in your house. Let's be real here, the outcome of the current problem could mean the end of your relationship if it's not handled well by all parties involved. So I would suggest that you wait until this whole thing blows over. But when the timing is right and you're both really happy with each other (and let's say there's at least a solid year that goes by without you wanting to leave her,) then: Also, should I propose with an engagement ring? Yes, you should. Go shopping for a ring and find one that you think she'll truly like and be comfortable in. Spend as much as you're willing to spend on the "real" one. Offer to let her exchange it for something else if she wants to. But I would advise against proposing with a cheap "symbol" ring. Go for the real thing, knowing that she can exchange it if she doesn't like it. And, I planned on proposing to her in the evening in our king-sized bed, which we lounge around in the evening and is the most relaxed, familiar area of our house and of which I believe we both associate with home and togetherness. If you think she'd like this, then go for it. But since you'd just be at home like any other night, try to do something special. Don't just lean over while watching the evening news and be like, "Hey, wanna get married?" Cook her dinner, buy her flowers, and get down on one knee or something. Do something memorable. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GoBlue Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 Just want to know if the timing is right? I want her to know that I want to commit to her for the rest of my life, and I feel now is a good time before we become “grandparents”...Also, should I propose with an engagement ring?...Better than doing it in a restaurant, or an exotic location, or making a huge spectacle of it? JBird2001 - You have been living as husband and wife for over five years now, which means you are a little late on this thing, but better late than never. I really don't know very many women who consider themselves officially engaged without a ring. When I proposed to my wife, I intentionally made it a big deal because I wanted it to be special for her and something she would never forget. I hope all goes well. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 This is one of those things that kind of has to be your call! If you want to make her your wife then you already know how to propose in your heart! My wife would of hated a big public proposal which put her feelings on the spot, my sister utterly loved being centre of attention. Link to post Share on other sites
OnlyHonesty Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Proposing is the least of your concerns, it's clear you just don't see the situation you've been in for the last 5 years. I will hazard a guess that your gf has not mentioned mariage once right? Link to post Share on other sites
carly75 Posted November 20, 2014 Share Posted November 20, 2014 I think she will be happy if you propose to her. You're a good man you accept everything about her, and you are ready to be part of her life forever. Good luck dude. Link to post Share on other sites
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