travisfan12 Posted July 4, 2012 Share Posted July 4, 2012 Hi i am a first time poster in need of advice. Im 24 and engaged to be married soon next year. Here is some quick background info on me: - grew up with a mentally abusive stepdad - my parents are divorced - i was a bit of a loner for most of my 20-23 years of age - i have struggled with depression and am currently medicated for it (only mild medication) - i often get strong moods which she copes with and has always supported me As I said i am soon to be married to my fiance but my mind keeps making changes on me. One week i will be over the moon with my fiance and love her and the next week I will withdraw from everyone and go quiet and grumpy. When I am in a mood I will fantasise about moving country and doing something away from everyone and on my own but I know that I had the chance to do this before I met my partner and I didnt. Before I met her I was very sad and lonely but I keep fantasising that not being with her would be so much better. Other times i will be fine and happy in her company. We met online and it went fine to start with but I soon became scared she would leave and was paranoid I was going to be left alone. I was constantly unhappy and eventually went to see a councellor who spoke with me and then eventually put me on medication. My partner has been so loving to me and so patient and i know she loves me. Recently i just feel like im not sure if im going down the right path. We are settled in and have a rented house and a dog but something doesnt feel right. She went away for a weekend the other week on a holiday with some of her girl mates and i missed her like mad and i couldnt wait for her to come home. She just pushes me to do things and to become a more positive person but i dont know how i feel. Does/did anyone else feel the same before marriage, is this just nerves or should i be looking deeper? (im sorry if this post is long and scattered i dont have anyone else to ask!) Link to post Share on other sites
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