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Why is marriage so important to women?


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Old 20th February 2004, 7:11 PM   #1
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Why is marriage so important to women?

Why is marriage soooooooooo important to women? What does marriage mean to you that you are willing to end a really GREAT relationship if you don't get that ring and piece of paper??? Is it just about having kids or is it more? PLEASE be HONEST!
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Old 20th February 2004, 7:13 PM   #2
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Old 20th February 2004, 7:20 PM   #3
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hmm

kids are a big part of it, nobody wants to have semi-legal kids.

there's also the idea of ... "if he doesn't wanna marry me, he must be with me just 'for now'" - i.e. a fear that unwillingness to get married indicates no future plans.

also, men have longer lives than women, in some sense. a man can be in his fifties, getting married and starting a new family. that's highly unlikely for a woman - normally they have until 40 or so to play around. (yes, major generalizations, but they explain women's obsession with marriage!). So the fear is - in 10 years, he'll still be a hot commodity, but I won't be, so I want this marriage certificate to feel more secure.

i personally don't see any harm in not getting married, but if i were living w/ a guy for a couple of years, i think i'd like him to marry me ... or at least discuss why we won't.

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Old 20th February 2004, 7:24 PM   #4
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Maybe they want the stability. But either way there are tax benefits in the US at least to getting married.
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Old 20th February 2004, 7:29 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by Darkangelism
either way there are tax benefits in the US at least to getting married.
There are tax changes, not benefits, married couples usually end up worse off taxwise.
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Old 20th February 2004, 7:33 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by dyermaker


There are tax changes, not benefits, married couples usually end up worse off taxwise.

No, no thats not true, you can only get certain breaks if you are married filing jointly, my mom is a fed certified tax preparer, so I hear this kinda stuff.
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Old 20th February 2004, 7:36 PM   #7
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I think religious and social norms condition people to expect that marriage equals committment so if it's missing then you wonder if they mean business - and that's a logical approach to take in many cases. It settles many people, resolving any lingering doubts they have. In my experience this applies to men as much as women. I had a rather odd upbringing so did not have these expectations and was happy to live together until we had kids. Then we got married.
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Old 20th February 2004, 7:38 PM   #8
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Why is marriage soooooooooo frightening to men? What does marriage mean to you that you are willing to end a really GREAT relationship just so you don't have to buy that ring and sign the piece of paper??? Is it just about having freedom or is it more? PLEASE be HONEST!

Seriously.

Many people, men and women, want marriage for security, companionship, sex, forming a family, having their kids be legitimate, status (not being a single "loser") and the hope of growing old together. I'm being as honest as I can.
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Old 20th February 2004, 7:51 PM   #9
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To me marraige is impiortant because it shows me that the man i want is willing to spend the rest of his life with me and that he sees me as the right girl to be with....i think that if ive been in a commited relationship with a guy when im like 26+ and if we have been together for 2 years or more i would expect a ring and if hes not willing to marry me it would make me feel that maybe he doesnt really lvoe me and is still curious to be with other women.

At this age im not looking for marriage cos im young so even if i was in ac ommitted relationship i dont expect a ring or any talk about marriage -im 20...but if im 26 years or older then i think id expect it...

I sure wanna get married and be commited to one person and that -that person is committed to me, and then form a family, share a joint account and later after 2 years of marriage maybe have kids...but anyways this is later in life..right now i dont even wanna think about it...thats to much of a step and if i get married its gotta be someone worthy, and that im 100% sure of cos i dont want to get divorced. so its a big decision!
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Old 20th February 2004, 7:53 PM   #10
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When two get married, and they both have incomes, their income is combined and they are put in a higher bracket. My parents are among the est. 40% who find marriage as a taxation detriment rather than a benefit.


More information on the "marriage penalty"
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Old 20th February 2004, 8:08 PM   #11
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That is assuming two incomes that are equal, but say one isnt working or has a low income then, there is no penelty, and you said it yourself, 40% have it worse off, but 60% have it better off.

Myths of Tax
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Old 20th February 2004, 8:11 PM   #12
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Semi-legal children? Are children illegal in Canada if they are born out of wedlock? Yikes!
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Old 20th February 2004, 8:11 PM   #13
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If one isn't working or can't support themselves, there's their benefit for marrying right there
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Old 23rd February 2004, 5:07 PM   #14
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Why women want to get married:

1) Religious beliefs
2) So-called "security", i.e. "NOW my great guy won't dump me for that hot 19yr old!"
3) Legitimize children
4) Tax benefits for 60% of the people ;^)
5) Being able to make legal decisions for spouse if said hubby is in a coma or something
6) "Respectibility," in step with social mores
7) The jewelry, the fairytale wedding, etc.
8) They hate their last name and like yours better (I know, I know, they can legally change it anytime they want!)

Now, why is getting married so unappealing for those guys who are already living with their long-time sweeties?
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Old 27th February 2004, 7:07 PM   #15
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Here's a woman who NEVER wanted to get married!!!

I've been asked numerous times. It just never seemed to "fit"

I think for many years I thought I'd meet that one great guy and suddenly I'd want to get married, but you know what? It's just not me.
I just don't believe in it....for ME.

Look, it's OK for other people. If you like being married and it feels great to you, go for it.
For me...no way.

I just don't believe in promising my whole life, forever and ever, to anyone. And I AM in a long-term monogamous relationships. I love my BF very much. He is a wonderful lover and friend and this is the longest I've ever stayed with anyone.

That said, I still can't promise him forever.

People change, lives change, situations change. Someone who made you happy for ten years might not make you happy later in life. Sometimes our values and needs change.

I don't have kids and don't plan on having any, so that makes in simpler in some respects.

I've never wanted the ring, the wedding dress or the big party. It just never did anything for me. I don't get it, frankly. What in the hell is so great about a big old cake and a big old white dress that you're only going to wear one time?
I just don't get turned on by that stuff.

If my BF and i are together 20 years or so, maybe on a whim we'll run off to Vegas and do the "i do" thing but I think it would be an ironic, tongue-in-cheek kind of thing if we do.
I like honesty above all else. I see too many marriages where there is no honesty.....where it's all about appearance.

Screw that
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