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Friendzone or more to it?


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 18th January 2018, 10:55 AM   #1
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Friendzone or more to it?

I need help with this girl I like alot we both liked each other alot but when we both found out we liked each other she had a boyfriend at the time but she told me she liked me way before she got with him so eventually he hurt her and they broke up she was going through alot we starting "talking" for a while but she would never open up.

I always tell her she was Worth waiting for I would take her out buy her things give gm texts and everything was good at times it would be frustrating for her not to open to me but I stuck threw it during the time she told me she didn't want me thinking were going to be together cause she wasn't over her ex I was scared at first but eventually she said **** him and we worried about jus me and her eventually she opened up about what really happened with her and him then I would open up about my ex and we clicked.

I would tell her that I care bout her situation but not her ex and that I just wanna worry about me and her and he is not worth it then she sent yeah but stop push I'll open up later and I said ok I won't then was three weeks ago so now after we got off winter break we just start opening up more about our future and doing YouTube even going to prom together then this Monday her cousin and friends would tell her she has someone else and I keep claiming her and I stalk her the first time i told her she said she was going to fix it.

I believed her so the next day they did again but we were all together at the same time so I would keep asking her was is they talking about are they lying can u tell me eventually she would pull me to the corner and said not all but most of the stuff they said was true I asked her why did she lie she said I didn't wanna hurt u or I knew u were going through and that it's not that she wouldn't date me but she keep saying friends and that she does have feelings for me and they grew all her friends were laughing and she was to at point I felt hurt she eventually said can we talk about it later it's making her head hurt later the day.

I texyed her asking if she still wanting to talk or wat happened between is but all she said is idk then I asked her why would she open and she all that stuff to me if it was a lie and she got angry and said she done talking about it I'm hurt and going through alot In life and I thought she cared about me and was going to be there but again something happens i need advice idk what to do its hard not to think of her when I see her everyday

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Old 18th January 2018, 11:07 AM   #2
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She's not really your friend per se, she's temporarily using you as a scratching post. Find a girl to take to prom who isn't just using you as someone for "talking." Don't wait until the next boyfriend comes along, find someone else who's actually interested and not just feigning it to get your attention.
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Old 18th January 2018, 11:10 AM   #3
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She's not really your friend per se, she's temporarily using you as a scratching post. Find a girl to take to prom who isn't just using you as someone for "talking." Don't wait until the next boyfriend comes along, find someone else who's actually interested and not just feigning it to get your attention.
I don't understand why she would hurt me or lie to me when we both opened up to each other she said she'd never use me this sucks
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Old 18th January 2018, 11:29 AM   #4
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You were a rebound. She didn't intentionally use you, but you were because she did to get over her ex. It's how the brain works sometimes....it's called infatuation. Those feels were intense and felt real at the time but they fritter out quickly. It's true she didn't want to hurt you because she was confused as to why it all happened. Her infatuation with you got the best of her. Those feeling are gone now as fast as they came.

When you get older you will be able to recognize this behavior and to avoid it. It's never a good idea to get close to someone who is still in a relationship. This is your end result.
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Old 18th January 2018, 11:47 AM   #5
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You were a rebound. She didn't intentionally use you, but you were because she did to get over her ex. It's how the brain works sometimes....it's called infatuation. Those feels were intense and felt real at the time but they fritter out quickly. It's true she didn't want to hurt you because she was confused as to why it all happened. Her infatuation with you got the best of her. Those feeling are gone now as fast as they came.
But what I don't get is the didn't want a relationship so I couldn't have been rebounded she liked me before she got with him so I understand this I wasn't infatuated with her I cared a great deal and just cause she lost feelings doesn't mean she can't check on me to see if I'm ok or so she cares about me

When you get older you will be able to recognize this behavior and to avoid it. It's never a good idea to get close to someone who is still in a relationship. This is your end result.
I don't get that cause we never got into a relationship and she liked me before she dated him she told me she cares about me is serious about me but wants friends or something she has feelings but I'm guessing not enough
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Old 18th January 2018, 8:30 PM   #6
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She's trying to break off with you. Most women do not like to hurt guys in the process. She's already told you to stop pushing. She may be getting over her ex, but that doesn't mean she's now going to be with you. I mean, I think you took it that way and that she leans on you too much (but you're asking her to) and now she regrets if she gave you the wrong idea.

She's not about to be with you and just wants this whole thing to go away.
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Old 19th January 2018, 10:34 AM   #7
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I don't understand why she would hurt me or lie to me when we both opened up to each other she said she'd never use me this sucks
That's her mixing her signals. She won't use you sexually. That's how they put you in the friend zone, by taking advantage of your obvious emotion for her entertainment.
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Old 19th January 2018, 10:43 AM   #8
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I had a very hard time following your question. It was not clearly written. Improving your ability to communicate will open many paths in your life, romantic, academic & professional.

That said, you are both young & learning about the world around you. She fancied you but the other boy asked her out so rather than wait for you, she dated him. They broke up & there you were to shower her with attention, sooth her wounded ego & make her feel better. She lapped it up.

But when her friends & cousins butted in & said negative things about you, she buckled under the peer pressure & is now backing away from you.

She probably was not lying when she said all that nice stuff to you but she's also not an independent thinker. It's easier for her to go with the crowd & for whatever reason the crowd has not chosen you. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings per se because I don't see her as intentionally being a mean person but she's not strong enough to make her own decisions. Thus she is going to do what the others tell her, even if those are lies. She is not a quality person so you best leave her be.

Because you have to see her every day in school, you need to develop a thick skin & act like you don't care. Perhaps find another classmate who interests you.
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Old 19th January 2018, 11:34 AM   #9
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I don't get that cause we never got into a relationship and she liked me before she dated him she told me she cares about me is serious about me but wants friends or something she has feelings but I'm guessing not enough
Things were crappy in her relationship and you were willing to give her attention in which made her feel desired and special....this is very addicting to a girl. It's like being staved and you would be willing to eat anything.

You totally got friend zoned. She is emotionally attached to you but not romantically attracted to you. It always looks like romantic interest to a guy so it can be so confusing.

Try reading the Ladder Theory.
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Old 20th January 2018, 3:26 AM   #10
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Things were crappy in her relationship and you were willing to give her attention in which made her feel desired and special....this is very addicting to a girl. It's like being staved and you would be willing to eat anything.

You totally got friend zoned. She is emotionally attached to you but not romantically attracted to you. It always looks like romantic interest to a guy so it can be so confusing.

Try reading the Ladder Theory.
Yeah I understand most of this but I mean Idk if I'm a rebound or anything it's signs I am and this it's signs she really likes me maybe to much attention made her go away when I see her I try to ask her about us and make sure I'm not just a friend she says I'm not just a friend but no matter how much to show me she cares and to put in sum effort u know that she likes me but either she says just let me open up or she shuts down yesterday I told her the honest truth on how I felt then out of no where she got so hurt idk why her best friends like me and they tell her to go out with me but she tells them she doesn't want a relationship
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Old 20th January 2018, 3:29 AM   #11
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Just make a move. You will find out the true answer and it will all be for the best.
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Old 20th January 2018, 9:02 AM   #12
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If she doesn't want a relationship that is your answer.

Again may I suggest that you use your knew free time to familiarize yourself with punctuation. It was very hard to read that stream of consciousness run on sentence.
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Old 20th January 2018, 1:21 PM   #13
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She was i a crappy situation with the bf and you were new and treated her nicely and made her feel good about herself.

She then found someone else and threw you to the curb like trash.

Unfortunate but happens all the time. I assume you are young.
You will learn to avoid low quality women like this. They do not care about you, they only care about themselves and will use you and toss you away like garbage...

you probably should have nothing to do with this girl. Block her on everything and if she tries to come back and is all nice talking to you, tell her thanks but no thanks I do not want to know you.

I wish you luck in finding someone of quality who really likes you...
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