Is she into me?

[Frazzle]

I have a coworker named Pam who I get along pretty well with. She compliments me if I dress nice or when I get a haircut. I don't get these compliments from any of my other coworkers. We've never had lunch before until the other day. I asked her if she wanted to check out a new lunch spot. I expected her to invite other coworkers but in the end it was just me and her. During the lunch, she got more personal than I expected. She told me about her dating life and how she got dumped by a guy she was seeing casually the night before. She also asked if I was friends with another female coworker outside of work. Not sure if she was gauging my feelings towards the other coworker or not. But this other coworker (let's call her Jennifer) and I talk a lot because our offices are next to each other.

 

Is this an indication of something more from Pam? Usually women would want to go in a group lunch to avoid misunderstanding but she was more than happy to go with me alone. I also asked Pam if she wanted to go hiking one of these days and she sounded very enthusiastic about it.

[carhill]

My short version from long experience is no woman who wants to date you spends lunch telling you about her dating life.

 

Also, in general, whenever I've had the private conversation with myself about any woman being into me, including the one I married, nuh uh, they're not.

[Frazzle]

My short version from long experience is no woman who wants to date you spends lunch telling you about her dating life.

 

Also, in general, whenever I've had the private conversation with myself about any woman being into me, including the one I married, nuh uh, they're not.

 

So I’m misreading the situation?

[carhill]

If you find Pam attractive ask her on a date. Sure, she says she just broke up with her BF but who knows and besides if she finds you attractive she's not going to piss that away playing games. Too soon? Yeah, maybe. However, even if so and she declines, she knows without a doubt you find her attractive and want to date her. Then watch to see what happens, whether she seeks to catch/keep your attention or not. If nada, nada. Note how she interacts with other men.

 

I tend to give opinion based on where I am now and what I've learned in life but I need to remember most are still in the reproductive phase and pulls are strong and giving up is hard.

 

All I do know is, looking back at the, whoa, way too many women I asked out over the decades, in reality I knew whether or not they were 'into me' before I asked them out. I just hard a hard time admitting to the 'no's'. It is what it is.

[Frazzle]

If you find Pam attractive ask her on a date. Sure, she says she just broke up with her BF but who knows and besides if she finds you attractive she's not going to piss that away playing games. Too soon? Yeah, maybe. However, even if so and she declines, she knows without a doubt you find her attractive and want to date her. Then watch to see what happens, whether she seeks to catch/keep your attention or not. If nada, nada. Note how she interacts with other men.

 

I tend to give opinion based on where I am now and what I've learned in life but I need to remember most are still in the reproductive phase and pulls are strong and giving up is hard.

 

All I do know is, looking back at the, whoa, way too many women I asked out over the decades, in reality I knew whether or not they were 'into me' before I asked them out. I just hard a hard time admitting to the 'no's'. It is what it is.

 

That's true. Thanks. Point taken.

[Steve51]

I always operated under the belief that she was into me if she wanted me into her. For me there had to be sexual interest from the beginning because I did not want to end up as the millions of men online who are unhappy about their sex lives because they settled due to investing a lot of time and energy into their relationship.

[jjgitties]

I guess I think its possible she might be interested in you. Do you know her well enough and long enough to be able to speak opening about dating and dumping? Usually it would require a very open women (especially co-worker) to do that sort of thing.

 

My only qualm is, dating/sleeping with co-workers is a no-no because it can get really messy if things go bad. You don't want to have to look for a new job and have to start from scratch at a new workplace just just because you broke up with a woman.