FWB turned weird just before we both leave the country...

[IonaIrvine]

So, context - I have a large group of friends, maybe around 15 - 20 of us and then within that there is a smaller cohort of about 6 or 7 of us who are particularly close and see each other on at least a weekly basis (if not more often). For approx. the past 5 months me and one of the friends in the closer cohort have had a friends with benefits thing going on.

 

We first slept together back in March and admittedly we were both so drunk that I would barely count the first time if I was honest. Nothing happened for some time and then we slept together and it just became this thing that would happen more often than not when we hung out (drunk or not). But we managed to keep the whole thing super casual. We occasionally made jokes about it, as do our other friends but have never really spoken about it or "defined" it. Really it's just gone super smoothly - no jealousy, no upset, no mixed emotions and have managed to keep our friendship going perfectly.

 

Next week I am moving to another country to teach English for a year and not long after he is off to travel for a couple of months to travel and then start a new job away from the city where we all live right now. This has been in the planning for some time now so obviously we both knew our FWB situation would come to an end sooner or later (perhaps why it never progressed into anything more?). After months of everything being super chill and casual and maintaining a great friendship whilst also occasionally sleeping together suddenly this past week things have just been super awkward and seemed off between us. I can't quite put my finger on it but he is just acting different towards me and I feel like he is somewhat avoiding me (we have seen each other about four times in the past week, all in group contexts and slept together one of those times - it's not just the fact we didn't sleep together that feels weird, it's the way he has acted towards me in those group interactions).

 

Admittedly I don't know how I feel about him as anything more - my major worry is just how this will affect our friendship? I really don't want to leave on an awkward tone. As I said we have never really discussed things and I don't want to make it into this big deal by speaking about it. But equally if we don't address what has happened then I worry that it is going to cause us to drift apart...

 

I suppose I just lived in a fantasy world where we could just have things the way they were until when we both left and nothing would be awkward...evidently not!!!

 

N.B. Last year he was in a similar situation with another girl in our group where they slept together a few times, only in that situation he was very much in love with the girl. He waited for her to move away to address his feelings. That turned very sour and admittedly I think he could have been more open with his feelings before that point. (They are friends again now but still would rather avoid that situation!)