I don't understand these mixed signals?

[Cora]

I said I wasn't going to date anymore because I was tired of all the bad experiences and things never ending well. However, I ate those words real quick.

 

I met this guy online around mid May. He sent me a message and we stayed up late that night chatting and getting to know each other. He asked me out for dinner the next night which was the first time we met in person. Since it was our first meeting I told him I'd pay for my meal, but he insisted on paying. When I met him I felt he was very chatty and extroverted and figured things wouldn't work because I'm very shy and introverted. I thought the date was a bit awkward and I went home that night thinking I'd never hear from him again.

 

Well he has kept in touch since and instantly asked when he could see me again. I ended up going on vacation a few days after our first date, but he text me the entire time. At first I thought he was quite clingy, but the more I got to know him, I got used to this and really started liking him. We talked daily and continued seeing each other. He practically wanted to see me everyday. He'd get upset sometimes when I wasn't able to respond to his texts right away, but we worked that out. He could also be quite jealous. I was dating another guy when we first met, but ended things with the other guy not long after because it just wasn't working out. He asked me if I was dating anyone else so I told him about this other guy. Had tons of questions about him and did not understand why I was dating this other guy if I was so into him? I thought that was a bit odd to ask since we hadn't known each other very long and was definitely nowhere near being exclusive.

 

Anyway, things with the other guy ended and we continued seeing each other almost on a daily basis. One night we were talking over text and I told him I was really starting to like him...maybe too much. I said it kind of in a joking manor, but meant it. His response was "don't do that, it's way too soon." Then he proceeded to say he didn't know when he'd be ready for a relationship. I told him I wasn't asking for a relationship. I was a little hurt by his response because the signals he was giving off made me think he really liked me too. A few days went by after this convo where he would not talk to me. Once he did start talking to me again things were very different. He was more distant...seemed colder. He no longer text me as much and no longer asked to see me all the time. When we did see each other it was very casual...more about sex than anything. We still hung out and talked, but it wasn't the same. I asked him in person about this and he said he didn't want to hurt me or anyone. That he still wasn't fully over his ex that broke his heart and isn't ready to commit to anyone.

 

While I appreciate his honesty and him not leading me on, I'm confused. Why all the mixed signals? He appeared to be very into me up until the point when I expressed to him that I was really starting to like him. Then he got distant. Even the context of his texts changed. He no longer sent me good morning texts, or that he missed me...no more hearts or kissing emojis. He no longer asked me to text him to let him know I made it home safely. We have now just kind of fallen into a fwb type of thing which is fine for now, but it's not what I would want forever. I probably do need to just end things with him before my feelings get too deep and I end up getting hurt. It's probably foolish to think he would ever want more with me someday. I've been in these types of situations before and they never end well. I've just never met a guy who acted so into me for it to turn out so casual in the end. Maybe I'm missing something or being completely naive here, but my head is spinning. I never knew dating was this hard.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Sounds like someone who really likes the hunt, but in the end is a commitment-phobe.

 

I think you should move on.

[preraph]

He's just looking for sex and for validation that he's desirable but he is not looking for a real girlfriend. You need to cut him loose. If a man tells you not to -- believe him. Because he's not going to and if you now stick around, he will feel justified in any old bad way he treats you because you were forewarned.