EnduringInfinity Posted May 13, 2017 Share Posted May 13, 2017 Hey All, I could use some perspective on this. About two years ago, I had a pretty big crush on one of my co-workers. We talked a fair bit a work/at work events and generally got a long really well and it definitely felt like he was sort of flirty with me sometimes, but at other times not so much. Granted, I had a crush on him so everything probably felt more magical than it would have otherwise, but there were certainly times when I felt chemistry between us/like he wanted to be around me a fair amount. That said, he never made any sort of move on me romantically at all and I never really did anything about my crush aside from casually inviting him to two parties that (a small number of other coworkers were invited as well, but the party was mostly other friends of mine); he gave me a "maybe" response on both, but never actually came to either party. Over time, the crush sort of fizzled for me since it didn't go anywhere and I was casually dating other people on and off. I quit said job a year or so ago and hadn't really thought about him at all until I ran into him at the store yesterday. I actually didn't even see him at all -- he came up to me, said it was really good to see me, and we talked for a little bit about work, how the company's changed, etc. and I tried to ask him out, but I fumbled a little bit: I said something like "I still hang out with a lot of people from [job], so maybe we can grab a drink sometime." And he responded by lighting up and immediately telling me that as of that day, the alcohol/happy hour policy at the company had dramatically shifted. Was that a super smooth "I don't wanna meet up with you?" or did I not make my intentions clear enough? We talked for a little longer, and as we were parting, I said "Well, it was good seeing you -- I go to [local bar] sometimes, so maybe I'll see you." and he mentioned that he goes there every week on a specific day. Obviously I am not gonna crash the dude's happy hour, but it did make me think that maybe I should just bite the bullet and send him an email (he's not on Facebook as far as I'm aware and I don't have a phone number for him) and just point blank ask him if he'd like to get dinner/drinks? If I was too subtle in what I was asking, I'll do it, but if it seems like he's not interested in me, I'm obviously not going to beat a dead horse and make things weird for him or myself look desperate. Any advice is welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 13, 2017 Share Posted May 13, 2017 He told you where he goes every week. In the swingin' '70s, this is what passed for asking someone on a date. Don't go this week, but if you haven't heard anything from him, which it sounds like you won't, maybe next week text him the day before and say, "You going to your usual haunt tomorrow? I was thinking about joining you." This gives him a chance to warn you off if he has someone else meeting him there. If hes says "Yeah but I'll be with a friend," just say, "That's okay. I'll come some other time because I want to catch up with you." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Obviously I am not gonna crash the dude's happy hour, but it did make me think that maybe I should just bite the bullet and send him an email (he's not on Facebook as far as I'm aware and I don't have a phone number for him) and just point blank ask him if he'd like to get dinner/drinks? "Obviously you are not going to crash the happy hour?" What????? Honey, He WANTS you to come to happy hour. He doesn't want an e-mail. You don't have to ask him out. Just grab a friend & show up. He couldn't have made this any easier. He'll do all the work if you are brave enough to come have a drink. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted May 14, 2017 Share Posted May 14, 2017 Exactly what the other two folks said. I second the just go. Link to post Share on other sites
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