Somebody tell what's up with this woman

[stc1701]

I need some advice. I currently live in a homeless shelter. I have a job and I attend the local community college pursing a degree in Information Technology. I met this woman who works at the shelter. She has said she doesn't have a boyfriend (she’s 25 and I’m 51) and we talk everyday when she is at work. What really started all of this was I brought her a candy apple from work. On day I told her how pretty and sexy she is. She smiled and told me thank you. A couple days later I asked her out and she just kind of smiled and chuckled a little bit. We still continued to talk every time she came to work. She took a week off because she had to work at her other job. After about a week went by I asked one of her co workers when was she coming back to work. He told me she was coming in that night and that she was going to be happy to see me. This was 3rd shift and I stayed up all night talking to her. I asked her for her number and she said she couldn't give it to me. I told her I would never put her on the spot in front of her co workers, because clients are not supposed to have romantic relationships with staff. I started to wonder if this woman was starting to like me. When she is at work she always wants to talk to me. She helps me with my homework. She even told me when her birthday is ( 3 weeks from now) and her favorite gift is roses. She has never ask me for anything, but I brought her lunch a couple of times. She also told me If a man was to move in with her all she would ask for is half of the rent. I forgot to mention I am married, but I have been separated for almost three years. She even knows about that. I told her I am going to get a divorce and she jokingly said I wasn’t. I assured her I am. One day I was worn out wondering whether she likes me or not so I decided to stop pursing her. I went to the front desk and started talking to her co worker, not even looking in her direction. She made it her business to get my attention. She interrupted the conversation by asking me questions. She even pulled her dress over some so I could see her thigh. Then she switched around in the chair, spreading her legs a little so I could see in between them. If I won’t talk to her she’ll ask me why I haven’t spoken to her today. Whenever she sees me her whole face lights up. I told her I was moving out of the shelter and she wanted to know if I was going back to my hometown. I told her I was going to stay in Durham NC because I see something I like. She asked me what that was. She asks me personal questions all the time. If a guy is at the window talking to her she’ll tell them to move so she can talk to me. She lets me see her cleavage. When another man walks up, she’ll cover it up. I joke around with her and she seems to enjoy herself. When I got off the bus from work. She stopped me. I asked her where she was going . She said she was going home. I jokingly asked her could I go. She thought that was funny. Somebody please tell me what is going on and what should I do.

Edited January 27, 2017 by stc1701

[preraph]

Well, she may like you, and I have to say if she's showing you herself but not going to go out with you, that's not really nice OR appropriate. I hope you're not imagining that??? I mean, ladies don't do that.

 

Trouble is she has rules and doesn't want to lose her job and she also knows you're married, so that's two BIG and GOOD reasons that would prevent any decent woman from dating you.

 

My advice: Move out of the shelter as soon as you're able and get a divorce, and THEN ask her on a date, but be prepared and be nice no matter what the answer is. Good luck. Sounds like you're on the right track to get unhomeless soon.

[stc1701]

Well, she may like you, and I have to say if she's showing you herself but not going to go out with you, that's not really nice OR appropriate. I hope you're not imagining that??? I mean, ladies don't do that.

 

Trouble is she has rules and doesn't want to lose her job and she also knows you're married, so that's two BIG and GOOD reasons that would prevent any decent woman from dating you.

 

My advice: Move out of the shelter as soon as you're able and get a divorce, and THEN ask her on a date, but be prepared and be nice no matter what the answer is. Good luck. Sounds like you're on the right track to get unhomeless soon.

So what do I do in the meantime? I'm leaving the shelter next month. Is it alright for me to get her something for her birthday? Should I continue to talk to her or should I back off?

[preraph]

No, it wouldn't be appropriate to give her a gift. And it's a little desperate looking, so not a good thing to do until you've actually been dating someone maybe about 3 months. In the meanwhile, you treat her with respect and be friendly and polite and maybe just tell her you're working to get on your feet and get your life in order. When you leave, ask her if you can have her contact info and stay in touch until you are settled and divorced. Good luck!

[stc1701]

Well I went out and brought her a gift anyway and she accepted it right in front of her coworkers. As a matter of fact she and her coworkers came and ate lunch where I work at and I gave it to her then. When she came into work latter that evening she told me how she enjoyed the gift I brought her. I asked her if we could continue what we started when I move from the shelter. She looked at me, giggled and said she didn't know yet. So what do you think about this?

[preraph]

I think she's waiting to see if you're going to get fully on your feet, that she likes you but doesn't want to end up with someone who can't support himself, so she's being cautious. It's nice you're making all these friends through her, though. She just doesn't want to get in a position of having to take care of someone. She sees you're really trying and doing well, but really, it's too soon until you have your own place and are still employed and settled in and all that.