Friend or romantic interest with a younger man?

[moonmissy]

I recently got re-enrolled in University after 12 years of working in professional career as a legal consultant and being very successful in it. I am South East Asian woman raised in Canada. I recently came out of a 7 years relationship with younger asian man who is 7 years younger than me. I was very hurt because I loved my ex very much and also because we were good friends for 5 years before we cohabited. I not only lost a partner but a dear friend both at once.

 

Last Thursday I visited the University where I was going to start classes in January to volunteer to wrap presents for the kids for a party on Friday. The party was organized by mature students association.

 

Upon attending the present wrapping party, I noticed a Chinese young man in the room who is good looking (which also means a little nerdy by my standards). I was surprised to see him there since the room was filled with older more mature students and he looks like he is around 20. I started to talk to him first. He seemed a little shy at first but then started to ask me many questions, seemingly quite impressed that I spoke 4 languages and had owned my own business for 7 years before returning to school. After talking to him for a bit I found out he is a transfer student and came there to volunteer. He lives on campus and just started attending in the fall. After talking for not so long I asked him if he was going to the party. He said he wasn't sure. I told him that going would be a good break from his studies.

 

The next day he showed up at the party and the following happened.

 

1. Upon showing up he directly went towards me and reported: "I'm here!"

 

2. He said he had planned to stay for a little and go back to study (this is exam week) but ended up staying up late (from 6pm till 2AM).

 

3. He sat beside me in the same table all night, even though he had been volunteering at the organization since September and likely know more people there. *He didn't get up and mingle with anyone or move, even temporarily to another table. * Basically, He and I were the only constants people on our table who didn't move the whole night at the party. * Everyone else got up and moved at certain time. * The only time He got up was to get food, to show me to the washroom down the hall and get water at some point. **

 

4. *When I teased him during our table board game Jenga, I told him to pull a block that wasn't good. He listened which made the tower almost fall and I laughed and said that he was too gullible; he blushed hard. *

 

5. *He was asking me a lot of questions, he was very interested to get to know me, impressed that I had traveled to 40 countries, did almost everything from climbing the pyramids, parachuting to winter camping and ice fishing. He said: "You've done a lot of things wow."

 

6. *When I grab a dessert cake plate said I couldn't finish my cake alone and offered to share it, he put the piece of banana bread from his plate onto my dessert plate and ate half of my cake. *

 

7. *He cleaned the table and my plate. *He was attentive and thorough.

 

8. *He and another older Chinese transfer student went to get a beer with me and we talked for 3 hours at the pub until 2AM. *

 

9. *He said that a seven years age gap between me and my younger man ex was a minor difference in age (I was really surprised by this statement, because for Asian this kind of age gap is huge). *

 

10. *He told me his astrological sign (dog), that he was surprised he was still carded at the pub (he's 22 years old and the legal drinking age in Canada is 19)

 

11. * He asked me why I was so friendly with guys (which I replied that I grew up with 90% of my friends as guys). *

 

12. *He and the other guy walked me to the bus stop on campus to pick up the bus to go home (he doesn't drive and I live 10 minutes by bus from the university, also drinking was involved). As soon as I got home I called him on facebook messenger (this was at 2AM) and we proceeded to talk for 1 hour before hanging up. (I was very buzzed and felt like this was a social paux pas, regretting it the next day)

 

13. *When we texted two days later, he said would bring hot pot Sichuan sauce from China back since he is returning to China for two weeks of Christmas holidays (I like hot pot and hot spicy food). So I text and invited him over my house to try my cooking (I usually do this with friends), which he said "Let's eat after I come back".

 

I am 41, although with the Asian youthful look, I can pass off as 35, but still I cannot be mistaken as a girl in her twenties. This guy is 22!

 

I had the longest running relationship with the last boyfriend who was 7 years younger, longer than all my previous relationships with older men or men my age. For whatever it was worth, 5 of those 7 years were really happy and our breakup had nothing to do with our age gap. I never loved anyone before that even though I dated lots and usually at 2-3 years spurts at a time. I am rarely single for long since there was always a "friend" who secretly has a crush on me that would jump in and court me. When I was young, many times I had to make an effort not to have rebound relationship since I wanted to learn from the break up.

 

I have a really vibrant sunny personality although I am introverted (but not shy at all). Many of my friends tells me I am very charming and attractive since I exude confidence, a good witty sense of humor and intelligence.

 

My guy friend said that this young man is definitely interested in me and not in a friendly way. He said that maybe that young man secretly likes older woman, since he question the motive of him belonging in a Mature Student Club when he is so young and could have joined any group or fraternity. His excuse saying he is a "volunteer" and that "only this organization is taking volunteer on campus" doesn't sit right with me when there are 300 clubs in the university.

 

I want to make some friends on campus (or eventually date) as I don't have any friends locally, but I am unsure about this younger man. I find myself very infatuated with him since he is the type of guy I usually fall for and would have normally dated in my twenties (good looking, shy, smart and intelligent.... a little nerdy). He is very attentive towards me in conversation which is something I really find attractive in a man. He also understands my witty jokes that sometimes people miss. For an exchange student whose english is not his first language, he is very intelligent. The problem is, he is 19 years younger than me!

 

I find myself obsessing over him and my hormone is going nuts! I don't think I can think straight and I hate it when this happens. I don't want to be some college kid notch on the bedpost or conquest story.

 

Is he just being friendly or is he interested in me?

What should I do?

Edited December 14, 2016 by moonmissy

[Miss Clavel]

what should you do?

 

 

enjoy.

[BluesPower]

What Ms.C said.

 

You don't have to marry the guy, just have some fun. His little crush is so sweet. You are probably the most beautiful mature woman he has been this close to.

 

Good Grief have some fun.

 

Hey, but don't toy with him that is not right. But it won't hurt to give him a roll in the hey.

 

Enjoy life...