It's his birthday coming up

[DatingDirection]

Hi thank you for reading this, and helping me out.

 

To make a long story short - went from almost lovers to friends. We recently hurt eachother, not too badly, but said some hurtful things, then reconsiled talked for a few hours and got clairity on our past, and moving forward as friends.

 

I made it known that i liked him as more than a friend.

 

He made it known that he liked me as more than a friend, but doesn't want more.

 

Decision: We are friends.

 

Question, should i invite him out for a drink or make a plan to celebrate his birthday? Or just wish him happy birthday.

 

If it were my birthday, I would want him to want to celebrate my birthday with me and my friends. But again, i know i can't expect that. Although we are friends, and i do expect that from friends too.

 

What should i do?

 

Thank you.

[salparadise]

I'd find someone to date who doesn't play games.

[DatingDirection]

I think he's being honest with me, and does value our friendship. Thus far, and we've known each other for a few years now, and haven't slept together for years also.

[DatingDirection]

Anyone else have an OP please?

[loverboy69]

I think he was being honest with you when he told you he didn't want anything more than friends.

 

Now the rest is on you and has nothing to do with him.

 

If hanging out with him will only peel the band-aid off a wound that hasn't healed then I'd recommend keeping your distance.

 

Keep your dignity. You can wish him a happy birthday but leave it at that.

 

The worst thing you can do is become trapped forever longing for this guy because that will prevent you from dating others. I know because I've made a similar mistake in my past. I hold the opinion that you can't be just friends with someone you have feelings for when your feelings are not reciprocated.

 

Good luck. He may come around day but don't hold your breath. Move on with your dating life as this will increase your external value and help you move on.

[Satu]

Regardless of what you might have decided individually or jointly, I think you're in a grey area.

 

You're neither lovers nor friends.

 

I doubt that anyone can decide to be friends, as friendship is something that develops organically over time. It's not something that you can just dial up, because it seems a sensible solution.

 

Send him a nice card.

 

 

Take care.

[Shanex]

Because of the recent fight and because you once were lovers, it's hard to call friends here.

 

A happy birthday text, wishing him well is enough.

Edited November 15, 2016 by Shanex

[DatingDirection]

Well...sigh...I wished him happy birthday, and then invited him out to a show, or a drink and i said a mutual friend will be joining us too. (I didn't say it like that) But something along those lines.

[stillafool]

You can't be his friend because you want more. Being his friend would mean you have no problem if you all are out and he starts chatting up another woman. Are you okay and secure with that? Plus, you probably want sex with him again.

[DatingDirection]

We both said we're not going to talk about other people, our dating life and stuff. That' part the chatting up part, i haven't figured out yet. I'm just going by how i feel in the moment, and i want him in my life and he wants me in his. So, i know things aren't black and white. I'm going to have to live with this until i can't anymore, and hopefully like the other person said, it's in my control now, not to feel more, and while i know that's hard too.