FWB Timeline

[Eel751]

I could write a novel I swear..

 

We talked for a month after meeting. He wanted sex probably since the night we met. That night, it left his room after hooking up but I did it to see how'd he'd react. He said he felt like **** when I woke up and he wasn't there. He asked my friend who was dating his friend at the time if I was coming to breakfast. I said no but we all hung out later. He then asked me if I wanted to hang out one weekend and I said no. Finally I said yes omg.. So he told me he really liked me and he kissed me but omg I was uncomfortable. We didn't have sex, I don't remember what happened. I can look back and say I was uncomfortable because I barely knew him and he was making advances on me.

 

He told me about how his first gf who was his ex cheated on him with his best friend and that he thought it was his fault. She was his first gf. I told him about my first relationship and how it was bad too. He said he wants to be in love again. We got to know each other more. He then asked me to be his gf and I said yes because I felt I was ready for a new bf and that he didn't seem too bad. He was nice and cute at first, I could tell he definitely liked me. But you see, I lied to him about being a virgin to see how long he'd wait to sleep with me. Although I wasn't a virgin, I didn't have experience. So sex was new for me. We became close and we'd hang out on the weekends.

 

Winter break came along. In January we met up halfway and went to the mall. We looked around and he paid for my dinner. Looking back I could tell he was crazy about me. A week later, he invited me to have breakfast with his family at his neighbor's fundraiser. So I met the parents. They seemed to like me although I was quiet and uncomfortable. Everything was great from then on until March when he started talking about his ex on our 3 month anniversary. He got all dressed up and acted sweet with me. Spring break came along and he said he visited his ex girlfriend. He said she has a bf at her college and she's happy with him. He also got breakfast with her family he said. I was so upset! He apologized. I became depressed. He said he wanted to make it work. But he started texting her. And getting in contact with other girls he used to talk to. He said him and his ex agreed to be friends. I was going to break up with him but he cried and said that we need each other or some crap. I realize it's true. We have something very special. So whatever I stayed but I was still depressed school was slipping for me.

 

When it was time to pack for college we helped pack each others cars. It was very late I would get home early morning hours. He offered to have me stay overnight for a pit stop and I could go home in the morning. We woke up and got lunch with his family and I left after that. Our goodbye wasn't sincere, so when he texted me asking if I got home okay, I didn't reply. He asked if I was ok and 2 days later I said yeah. Two weeks later, he asked me to visit him and that he misses me. I said fine. I enjoyed spending time with him he said, "Let's not wait this long to see each other again." So he called me up and asked if he could visit so I said ok. We had a lot of fun we hung out with my family playing croquet and dominoes. He was very affectionate with me. He told me this is was was missing and that I make him happy. He also said he wants to work things out again.

 

We met again at his house. I bonded with his sister. Had fun again and we got chinese food. He acted so happy around me but he told me he cares more about me as a friend. He told me he's working more overtime to earn more money. He texts me once a week now and calls. Last time we met, he asked me if I still want to continue this at school and I said yes but he kept kissing me and being cute but I didn't feel anything.

 

On FaceTime, we now joke more and sometimes when we don't say anything but make funny faces. He's all smiley around me and I almost feel he loves me. He's more quiet when talking and caring. He calls me babe which I liked but now don't feel anything for. He says I look good and is giving me all these compliments but when I don't say anything for him he's like, "Do you think I'm ugly?" He told me months ago, he's sensitive. He's showing more of his vulnerable side which I accept but I don't feel a spark anymore. He called me his best friend recently on the phone. Last time we met, he greeted me and he was gonna kiss me but I hugged him and then he kissed me. I didn't feel anything.

 

I don't know what to do because if he's playing games, jokes on him because I don't feel anything for him. He says he cares more about me as a friend since I guess we're FWB, he acts so happy around me, it scares me. I made a joke about him being crazy and he said he is. I was like, "ok.." He told me he watched the movie 'Friends with Benefits' but he had a hard time telling me that was the movie he watched. I almost felt like he almost cried. He made a joke like: "I gotta stop doing drugs" some weird stuff and then he rubbed his eyes. It was weird..

 

I was missing him the other day and I was never one to text or call first. I started to cry and all the sudden I see an incoming call from him. It was so weird. This has happened with texts too. I'll be missing him and he contacts me. I just don't know if I feel so comfortable with him that there are no butterflies anymore or I don't have feelings. If I think about losing him I get upset but I also think if we decide to not continue whatever we have it will be okay too.

 

I'm so confused. I told my friends I'm done with him and they said I should ghost him if he keeps contacting me but I'm not that type of person. I am an empathetic person so I understand that he's not the most confident person even though he pretends to be. I have also suffered with depression so I know what that's like too. I don't want him to be upset if I find someone new to realize he does love me. This is very hard for me

Edited July 21, 2016 by Eel751