PriorityStraight Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 So I have been talking to a female coworker of mine for a few weeks now. Sometimes we go on walks together as our breaks from the office, rant about work and just joke around in general. We have nicknames, kinda sarcastic but honest at the same time with each other. Today she mentioned how it's funny that we basically talk all day over an internal Skype, through personal email and even text each other. Not so much after work hours though. We have heart to hearts sometimes about our careers, what we want in life, etc. and sometimes just stupid stuff. I never really thought about it, other than it was nice to have a friend to talk about that stuff with from work. But I wonder, since I've never had the wherewithal or thought about asking her to hang out otherwise. I'd be up for seeing if she's interested in more, to see if anything comes of it. Am I just someone that she can go to for an ego boost or to vent? I guess my other question is how would I approach her about it? Just straightforward? Sorry, never really approached someone like this through work. We work in completely different departments so there wouldn't be so much impact in the work environment. At least I would think. Thanks in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 Have you checked the Employee Manual about dating other employees? Better see what it says about that before you do anything. If there's nothing, there is still the risk of making her uncomfortable, mainly if you asked and she said no and then you wouldn't leave her alone. But since you're in different departments, I think in the course of your talking at lunch or wherever, eventually you will surely discuss what movies are out and one of you will say "Yeah, I want to go see that" and then the other will say "So do it -- let's go this weekend." Then you do just the polite gentlemanly things a man does on a date, like guide her to her seat with your hand on her back or take her arm or hand, pull her chair out at the sandwich shop if you go eat first, and just see how she reacts to those things which are really pretty neutral things. But if she should pull away from that, you'll know there is no interest. However, if she leans into you while you're doing those things and seems to like it, then you may be able to ask her on another date and kiss her at the end of the night. Good luck. Do just not get your feelings hurt though if it turns out she is just someone who likes to have buds to hang out with around work. Also, you need to find out if she has a bf or anything before you take her anywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PriorityStraight Posted July 2, 2016 Author Share Posted July 2, 2016 Have you checked the Employee Manual about dating other employees? Better see what it says about that before you do anything. If there's nothing, there is still the risk of making her uncomfortable, mainly if you asked and she said no and then you wouldn't leave her alone. But since you're in different departments, I think in the course of your talking at lunch or wherever, eventually you will surely discuss what movies are out and one of you will say "Yeah, I want to go see that" and then the other will say "So do it -- let's go this weekend." Do just not get your feelings hurt though if it turns out she is just someone who likes to have buds to hang out with around work. Also, you need to find out if she has a bf or anything before you take her anywhere. We're pretty much allowed to date coworkers who are not our superiors, or in our immediate hierarchy. With us being in different departments that pretty much is gravy. Yesterday we were talking and she jokingly asked why we were even friends. I joked back that she takes my food, asks me for rides to her car and gets to vent while I just talk to her. She has pulled back from texting as much as she used to though. It's really no skin off my back, it was more a curiosity since we had become close at work recently. With that said, I will probably just ask her if she's seeing anyone next week. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 2, 2016 Share Posted July 2, 2016 Or just tell her. Have a good weekend! Doing anything fun? That way you find out what she thinks is fun and maybe who with. Link to post Share on other sites
triple-s Posted July 2, 2016 Share Posted July 2, 2016 Dancing on a minefield when you date a coworker ... just saying. Been burned TWICE doing it ... never ever date anyone you work with .. it has SERIOUS reprecussions if youre not careful Link to post Share on other sites
Author PriorityStraight Posted July 4, 2016 Author Share Posted July 4, 2016 Or just tell her. Have a good weekend! Doing anything fun? That way you find out what she thinks is fun and maybe who with. Thanks, I'll see how it goes slipping that in. Dancing on a minefield when you date a coworker ... just saying. Been burned TWICE doing it ... never ever date anyone you work with .. it has SERIOUS reprecussions if youre not careful Of course, it's not like I would do anything in or around the workplace. As I mentioned, our departments are fairly removed from each other distance and work-wise. But yes, I get what you're saying. I am also looking for a new job at the moment, so "coworker" may not be the case for long. Link to post Share on other sites
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