Made love to FWB..

[cocopuffs92]

Hello there, I've posted on here a few times but hadn't got much back so hoping this time I can get some insight.

 

There's this guy, I've known for 10 years, my first love. We have been on and off with eachother since but have never actually dated. We stopped having sex for 4 years as we were always fighting, could barely stay friends for longer than 5 minutes. Recently, about 2.5 months ago he came back into my life full throttle. By that I mean we text everyday, see eachother atleast 2-3 times a week, have sex weekly it seems. It is so simple for me to become attached to this certain person and he knew damn well that's what was going to happen.

 

Every time I tried to talk to him about where things were going and what they were he's simply say we're just friends. He's been in my childs life since she was born, attended her baby shower even. So he has been around her alot lately, one day he even cuddled her and I. So 2 days ago (celebrating my birthday)while laying in bed I asked why he had done that. He said I don't know. Which I replied with " it seems like you want it, all this but then you don't at the same time." He said because that's exactly why. I do want it sometimes and I said 'stop fighting me on it." Then he kissed me and it turned into us making love. I mean ,this was the closest, most intense feeling I've ever felt with someone and towards the end he stopped looked me in the eye and said "i think I actually love you. I hate how much I care about you." Then he finished inside me which he NEVER does and didn't even question anything. (lol thankfully I ovulated last week) Anyways, he had uploaded a photo of us on facebook and all my little fan boys hahah a.k.a old dude friends who now hate me were commenting trash. He commented saying "It's pretty ****ing pathetic no matter who a guys with no mater how happy someone can be everyone's always gunna have some negative **** to say #****allyall"

 

I messaged him and told him I couldn't stop thinking about last night, that I hope he doesn't push me away and really thinks about the next move. Offered him space cause he must be confused. Which he replied "Yeah it is a little confusing. Can we just not talk about this right now if that's okay?" Haven't talked to him since and I'm so scared to lose the person I love and want to be with. I'm not sure how to go about this.. that night we were crying together because he said he was scared to screw it up and feels like I deserve way better. That was before we had sex multiple times that night.

[preraph]

I think you've got to assume, one, that he's dating other women or at least hoping to, and, two, that he doesn't think you're "the one" or he'd have committed a LONG time ago. You may win him by default at some point, but I'll tell you this: I certainly WOULD NOT have unprotected sex with someone who has been that consistently unreliable and uncommitted and only having sex for this many years. No child deserves that.

[red.velvet]

This sounds like an emotional rollercoaster.

I just don't think you want the same thing. You might be stringing yourself along.

 

if I were you, I would decide to just leave him alone completely. Not sleep with him, not talk to him, until I'm over him.

[TigerCub]

This sounds like an emotional rollercoaster.

I just don't think you want the same thing. You might be stringing yourself along.

 

if I were you, I would decide to just leave him alone completely. Not sleep with him, not talk to him, until I'm over him.

 

Totally agree with this OP

There is nothing worse than being with someone that you are so intensely drawn to, wanting them to love you the way you love them and not getting it returned.

 

Whatever his feelings of being "scared" or "confused" are - you can't just use that as a justification for the way he's not giving you what you need.

 

You said it yourself, he knows how you're so drawn to him, he knows how much he means to you - so he knows how to tell you words that would make you sympathize with him and give him what he wants and back away when he needs you to and know your place.

 

Until you completely get this guy out of your system, don't see him or talk to him or put yourself in a position where you will keep giving parts of yourself and hoping for something that will never come.

 

Your not doing yourself any favors by repeating your actions and hoping that one day he'll see you the way you wish he would.

 

I also agree with the first poster - you shouldn't bare back it with someone you are just a f**k buddy with.

 

Good luck

[kamani]

I don't have much experience in this area, but to me he seems committed. May be he has feelings for you by now, but he is not ready to commit to you. You have wasted more than enough time for him so please go NC and avoid further pain.