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Friends with a guy


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I have seen a lot of posts which sound similar :) but still posing this question and hoping to get some feedback on this.

 

I am friends with a guy for over 3 years now. We are real close friends, well we do have our fights from time to time for silly issues but get back to being friends again. We play fight with each other, joke about everything and never feel uncomfortable around each other even when watching movies with intimate scenes. There were few instances, where he got intimate with me (did not kiss me or had any sex), but kind of touched me all over. I am pretty sure that friends don't do this and he has apologized for what has happened. I kind of liked it but took it on lighter note, but this happened again and am confused about this actions.

 

Does he like me? Even if you are interested in a person, do you just make a move without expressing any of your feelings?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Three years already ? And that's the only move he made ? Mmm...

Maybe he just likes your company. Otherwise he'll be alone he thinks. I think he's also just passing time with you until a girl shows up he'll really have to work for...

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You replied on my topic thread (Thanks), so you are aware I am in a similar situation. The confused state you mentioned sucks! So take what I am saying for what its worth because I am trying to find out the same thing!

 

These situations are always tricking because I think after a certain length of time being a close friend, the lines get blurred between just best friends and more than friends. Actions that normally would mean "he is trying to make a move" or "she wants to get intimate" may not mean that because close friends of a long time are just very comfortable with each other.

 

In my case, my close friend hugs me all the time and always is putting her hand on my shoulder. Of course I never thought much of this over the years I have known her until recently when I developed feelings for her. I do the same thing back at times but of course prior to recently it was just me being friendly back. A few weeks ago, I was dealing with some really bad luck, and she hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and said I'd get through it and she had my back. Because of the close friendship, I can't really make anything of that. So its likely if you two have been close for awhile, it may be really hard to judge what stuff like that actually means!

 

If you like what he is doing, maybe try to touch the same way back when he does it next time and see where it goes?

 

How often do you text, call or hang out with each other? Does he seem to initiate the conversations more often then you? Does he every ask for just the two of you to hang out? How often? Next time you guys want to hang out, maybe suggest a movie at one's apartment/house and see where it goes. At least in my experience, if there are feelings, they seem to always come out when watching a movie together, just the two of you.

 

Also seems like there are two general scenarios for relationships developing. They either happen immediately and one person is very up front with how they feel and they got quickly from that. Or two people over the course of months or years develop feelings for each other, and these are always really hard because its like walking a fine line trying to figure out of the other person has feelings for you too. This is tricky because one person can put the other in the friendzone category or not want to make a move to damage a long friendship.

 

Hope I helped a little!

Edited by CVnine
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I have gone through this situation, and, as a guy, I can tell you that I tread very lightly with a female friend throughout our "friend zone" phase. There were a few times where we were alone and some signals were sent, but we both avoided them and kept it platonic.

 

He was literally putting his feelers out there to see how you'd respond, but he didn't want to push it like he might do with an openly potential romantic partner. Since it has happened again, it means, in his mind, that you guys are getting closer to doing it. He may fear rejection, so that is why he is going so slow. He may also be incredibly shy.

 

If you like it, however, you might as well respond to him and see if the passion carries through.

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