centaur of attention Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 The woman of interest and I have known each other since childhood through our families. As we have grown up we have slowly grown to be closer friends but some months ago I developed a crush on her but she had a boyfriend. I distanced myself a little while still remaining friendly so as not to interfere or waste my time chasing after someone unavailable. We hadn't seen each other for a few months when suddenly she begins texting me and trying to make plans to do stuff. I was busy at the time with work but finally we did get together and she tells me that her boyfriend since high school (we have both graduated from college) broke up with her in favor of another woman. Now I am unsure of how to proceed, I definitely still have feeling for her but I also want to do what I can to help her through this since she is taking the breakup very badly. Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Be there for her but don't be an emotional tampon. Be present, but don't let her emotionally dump on you. Try to cheer her up and make her smile without crossing into the ex-bf territory. Also, you need to respectfully make it clear you're attracted to her early on even during this phase. Be there, be kind, have emotional boundaries and decide what you want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Matahari007 Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 Being that you are both friends I don't see nothing wrong with going out for brunch or some coffee. You can still be there in her time of need. You are respectful and trust worthy so I'm sure she can use that in her life right now. There is no harm in that. Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 If a woman reaches out to a guy (instead of another woman) during a breakup with a different boyfriend, it's for one of two reasons: She's interested the new guy being the next in line, or she's not interested in the other guy but she's really comfortable with him. It's hard to find a middle ground here and as a guy, it's almost impossible to tell which is which. In the past, I have messed it up more than I have been right. The only thing I can tell you for sure, is that if you have been a comfort blanket for her in the past, it's more likely she's just comfortable with you now. The best advice I can give is to care for your friend, but protect your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 16, 2015 Share Posted April 16, 2015 If she's still talking a lot about the breakup and if it's clear she didn't want to break up but he did, she's probably just leaning on you and possibly wanting an escort so it looks like she's dating and not as heartbroken as she may be. Nothing wrong with either, but you have a right to know in case it simply isn't right for you. Point-blank ask her why she reached out to you and where she sees it going. Just ask her. You have a right to know. Link to post Share on other sites
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