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Interested or not?


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3 years ago I had a brief fling with a coworker. We did not pursue anything despite sharing our feelings for each other because of various complicstions in both our personal and professional lives. He moved to a new job, I moved to a new job and we lost track of each other.

 

This past October (so exactly 3 years later) he contacted me to invite me for lunch. When I asked him why now, he made it clear that he was still interested in me. We went for lunch but the atmosphere was distant between us. I contacted him a month later to go out for lunch again and this time we got a bit more relaxed (a bit of teasing, etc). It has now been over 1 month and we have not seen each other again. He is rarely in the City due to his work so I realize that the occasions to see each other are limited. I emailed him wishing him happy new year to which he responded immediately. After a few weeks, I emailed him again when the Super Bowl finalist were determined (he is a big football fan). We bet on the winner and he suggested that the winner of the bet chooses the place of our next lunch.

 

My problem is that since that first email back in October, he has not initiated any contact with me. He does answer my emails and is often sweet (calls me by a cute nickname, tells me he likes seeing me, etc) but always lets the conversation eventually die by a somewhat dry email. As I said, he is often in different time zones and has a busy professional life, but I am not sure he is that I interested after all...

 

What should I do?

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As discussed in another thread, it's easier to have sex with an old 'fling' or prior lover or spouse than cultivating a completely new prospect. Men are creatures of habit. In my generation, men who enjoyed such relations had a 'black book' of lovers they'd contact to keep the fires burning until they happened to be in the neighborhood or on business there.

 

Busy professional often in a different timezone who just can't manage to get it all together to meet up regularly.... sounds familiar.

 

Of course, I'm a somewhat cynical old fart who's a man so YMMV.

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