Impossible relationship.... :(

[SkyWhit3]

Hi everyone,

So this is my story. I am a bi girl going out with a straight. We started dating in february and everything was great. But the thing is that one moment is all ok with the fact that her parents might know about us and another one she is all noo i can't tell my parents. We both knew the parents issue thing but nevertheless decided to take this risks. But recently she realised that she wants me and really loves be but never would be able to tell her parents about us because they would never accept the fact that she is going out with a girl. So she decided to distance herself from me and changed the way she used to talk to me like no real conversation, we always end up with replying with lots of smileys. We discussed about all this. I always knew that one day she will leave me being in this said situation is another thing.

I asked her if she wanted to continue to be with me and still take the risk to see what happen or if she wanted us to stay friends? she told me that she didn't know what to do and she doesn't want to lose me that she's really happy with me. I know that she's really confused in her head right now. Then she told me but what if we remain friends we still talk to each other we still tell each other i love u but we live our own life separately?

At first I told her no if we stay friends i won't be able to talk to her because this will only hurt me.. If she thought that this would make me love her less??And what if one day she meets someone to replace me what will happen to me? What will i do then?

But then after some thoughts i told her ok i will try to be friends with you and still talk to you and all i will see how i'll handle all this. I sais anyways thanks for these 9 months they were the best days of my life...i love you.

She replied "Noooo :'(" So i asked what no?? you don't wants to stay friends? she said i don't know. I told her ok for now we are still together.. i won't take any decision right now because she's confused.. she said ok.

 

But i know the fact that she doesn't want to lose me she wants to keep me right now until she distanced herself from me. Its a bit selfish from her. Because what if one day she's able to completely distanced herself what will happen to me then? what if someone comes and give her the care and happiness she wants.. she'll kick me out of her life then?

 

I know what to do but the thing is i'm really not ready to lose her right now too even though i know i'm already losing her... I'm hurting a lot in this situation but Im not getting the courage to do what's right

[StalwartMind]

It's a dilemma to deal with someone who is confused about themselves and t heir future. Sometimes you find yourself in a lose/lose situation and it's hard to decide what to do. No matter the choice you stick with or when you commit to it, there is bound to be pain involved. You seem to be pretty aware of this, but that doesn't make it any easier.

 

The best you can do, is try to figure out yourself which path you feel most comfortable with. Maybe you should drop all contact now and say this is it, or perhaps try to enjoy it, if possible, for as long as you can until things progress to the next stage.

 

None of us are wired the same way and we deal with situations in many different ways. It's probably the fewest of humans who are capable of turning a difficult time into a positive one, but sometimes that in itself might be an experience worth trying. It's hard to say, I'm just trying to make you think and listen to what your heart tells you what to do. Wherever the pull is the strongest, is what you should do.