rioscent Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Recently, I moved to another state and a good friend who lived there helped me out tremendously. My bf and I are of course now in a LDR. I am having troubles differentiating between a friend or could there be more with my good friend. He is single and since my move, we have been hanging out a lot together. It has come to a point where I am getting weird feelings for him, almost to the point of believing that I am actually in love with him. However, I know this is all due to my current circumstances of being alone in a new place and having a familiar face to rely on. I do not wish to jeopardize my relationship with my bf back home. I need to spend less time with my friend so that I can think clearly and not do things that I will very much regret. How do I distance myself from him? He is always initiating contact and planning outings. It just feels rude to just say no to him out of a sudden and I don't want him to think that I have been taking advantage of his help and kindness. Do I tell even tell him about my feelings? I can be quite certain that he also share the same attraction but knowing that I already have a bf, he never makes any move. Can someone help please. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Think long & hard about what you do want. Since you moved, what are the realistic probabilities that you and your BF will ever be in the same place again? To me a permanent LDR is pointless. I would fade away from the local friend without addressing it head on. If he asks, say something vague like you are working on your romance with your BF. If he's smart he will read between the lines to realize you have some conflicted feelings about him & are trying to do the right thing. If the situation with your BF is hopeless because the distance will never be overcome, break up with him then pursue your friend. Just don't cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rioscent Posted September 27, 2014 Author Share Posted September 27, 2014 No, my move isn't permanent, I am bound to head back home after I am done with my job here. I just need to find a way to lessen contact my friend in a good way, or at least give myself a breather from him. I don't know many people here and he knows what I do, basically he knows my work schedule even. So, coming up with excuses not to hang out will be kinda difficult. If I do make excuses, he will know for sure that I am trying to avoid him. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 I think you either need to tell him you're busy with work a lot but just see him once every couple of weeks for a quick lunch or whatever. No one can think you're in love with them only seeing you for an hour every 2 weeks. No reason to be rude to him as he was good to you, but you are there to work, so work. If he begins wanting explanations, tell him you're busy with work and also trying to be available in case your bf wants to Skype as much as possible to keep that relationship strong while you're away and don't want to give him any reason to fret. Link to post Share on other sites
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