iDrumKing Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Are you reliable and caring? Would go the the ends of the world for you friends? Well... the close ones at least. If so, what characteristic make you one? I only ask because lately I've been trying to reevaluate the people around me I consider "friends." I've done things from loaned money, driven friends hundreds of miles for a job interview, etc. I'm beginning to feel used. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Well, to keep any relationship in balance it's important you never put in more than you're getting out, period. Because that does cause resentment. But if you're always giving, and they're not like that, that's more or less on you to just stop. They're not going to automatically match your level of generosity and that will seem unfair, so once you know their limit, you pull back there too. You don't want to accidentally attract someone who's a user by showing them you're generous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Are you reliable and caring? I think most of us like to feel we're reliable and caring. My most recent example came from the wife of a good friend who unfortunately has faced a couple bouts of cancer in his life. When he was scheduled for surgery the most recent time, earlier this year, she seemed pretty down when we talked so I told her all she needed to do would be call me and I'd simply show up and handle anything she needed handled so she could focus on him. They have a pet who needs watching and she cares for her disabled brother so I knew she had a lot on her plate, besides the fear that comes with cancer and surgery. All I told her was it didn't matter when, just make the call and I'll be there a day later (flying cross-country). She never forgets things like that and has mentioned that, and similar past occurrences, many times to others. That's all the thanks I need. Good friends make lousy accountants. Our journals never balance and it's all scribbles. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 All I told her was it didn't matter when, just make the call and I'll be there a day later (flying cross-country). Good friends make lousy accountants. Our journals never balance and it's all scribbles. Did you actually fly cross-country during this time of need for your friend? That's truly touching... I want a friendship of that magnitude. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 To me it's no different than helping out a friend locally. Wrap up work, catch a red-eye award flight and I'm on the ground early the next morning. If they're busy, pick up a rental car and head out. That said, my friend will tough it out even when ill to pick me up at the airport over the objections of his wife. It's a guy thing. IME, such friendships are built slowly, over many years. This one and myself met for the first time on a car forum back in the 90's and met up at a group deal in LA (Knott's Berry Farm, actually) about 15 years ago. Friendship developed from there. IMO, each friend has their strengths. Mine are flexibility and travel expertise, along with fixing toilets. I had to laugh at the absurd because I remember going to my lawyer's office one morning with a toilet in the car because after meeting with him I headed over to my then SIL's house to install a new toilet her H had crashed into and broke when falling down after coming home from surgery. Those were the days! Link to post Share on other sites
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