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when you feel a spark, but situation is complicated?


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Posted

I had to move out of state for work, right as I was developing feelings for him. I plan on moving back eventually (a couple months-a year). I let him know about my feelings, but he hasn't done anything about it yet. Is his silence the answer? Or can I contact him first while we're apart without seeming desperate?

 

We're old high school classmates/acquaintances. We were in different states for college, but reconnected through mutual friends and got closer after hanging out for a couple months. We flirted casually, ate dinner, watched a movie, hiked, just us two. Saw it as just having fun with a friend at first, but started thinking it could be something more. We had good chemistry, similar interests, thoughtful conversation, etc.

 

Too soon to pursue anything serious, but I decided to be straightforward about my feelings. I gave him a bday card encouraging him with his career goals, telling him I was glad we'd gotten closer, I'd miss him, and I'd see him during the holidays. I ended with the confession: I knew there were a lot of factors that'd come into play, but I wanted to keep it simple, and I liked him. Pretty lighthearted.

 

He can be passive and not as aggressive/forward with girls, so I thought I could initiate as long as he gives something as well. He seemed enthusiastic about keeping up the conversation the one time I initiated. I don't want to play games, but supposedly if a guy's interested, he'll do something about it. So is it okay for me to keep initiating (and how often), or should I wait for him to take the next step? Should I cut off communication until I actually see him again, or is innocent chatting okay and helpful at this point?

Posted

Maybe I'm jaded, but silence speaks more than words. My ex did the silent treatment with me and it drove me to insecurity. I wouldn't pursue it if I were you.

Posted

Agreed. I'd let this one fade away. Move on.

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