I've been married for 24 years and have two kids, both in their teens. Most of my adult life, I've had Bi-sexual tendencies. It's not that I don't love my wife and we have a good sex life, but there's something missing that only a man can fulfill. I enjoy being with women and men sexually.

For a short time, I had convinced my wife to get involved in swinger parties, but that only lasted a short while. During this time, I could be close to men and not have to explain my interest. My wife is open to other men who are gay and feels very comfortable being around them because they are confident in their sexual preferences. I'm a 49 year-old man who wants to stay married but live the life that makes me happy.

How do I present my sexual interest to my wife without threatening our marriage? How can I assure her I have no intent of being gay, yet enjoy sex with women and men, whether she's there or not!

[moimeme]

You could test out her reaction by having a general discussion about bisexuality and what marriages might be like for bisexuals. Doubtless there will be a TV show or news item or something that you can use as a topic starter. Once you've broached the subject in theory, you'll get a better sense of how your request might be taken and you can decide how to proceed from there.

[Faerie Princess]

Talk to your wife. You married her because you have things in common, one of them should be the ability to be open to new ideas and all the different aspects of one another's life.

There are many people who sucessfully live bi lives, and find that the introduction of new partners into the marriage can enrich and help both their sex lives and romantic lives.

Do a web search for your own benefit. Knowing that there are other people out there that feel as you do, and indeed sucessfully have marriages and other relationships can make a lot of difference.

Get your own thoughts together before you talk to her. The more you're clear about what you're thinking and your motivations, the less stress you'll put on her.

Derek.....I've been married 30 years and I haven't just had bi tendencies and desires, I've acted on them. I have kept them secret from my wife. I have felt her out on the idea of swinging and she says no way, Jose! So I am perfectly content in my closet life.......

My man is always trying to get me in bed with another woman, while he participates, but only with me. He also has no problem being in bed with another couple, but only cares to see the woman get it on while the men join in with their significant other. He specifically sets rules for no touching to occur between the two men, and doesn't want any man touching me. Just the girls can touch. But he says he has no interest in just watching. He wants to be in bed with us, participating in some way, and touching me while the other girl is as well. He is constantly trying to get me to call my attractive girlfriends, whether he is familiar with them or not, in hopes that i'll get it on with them. We have a great sexual relationship, just the two of us, and nothing is lacking, I can assure you, in any aspect of our sex life. I give in to his every fantasy as he does mine. So why do men need to see their women with other women, let alone participate?
I feel like a whore being pimped. Is this a normal fantasy men have? I know all guys get off on seeing women on women, but how many actually act on it with their significant others? Is this normal behavior for someone who is supposedly strait? Is it due to low self esteem on the guys part as to why he needs to be in bed with more than one woman? Is this really an underlying desire of his to be with other women and the only way he can accomplish that without being disloyal is to include me? What is this accomplishing for him if he's never touching the other woman? I'm beginning to think I'm dating a psycho. Do any of you guys think this is normal if someone's not gay?

[fredrolin]

I believe that if you now bring up your bisexuality after 24 years of marriage, your wife would be pissed that you lived a lie and kept it a secret.

Being with another man or woman behind her back is cheating; so you want to ask her if it's ok to have sex with a man.
This is no different then asking her if it's ok to have sex with another woman.